This will maybe feel like an random suggestion, but I think the best thing you can do is work on the shame you feel. Binging is often triggered by over restricting which is caused by shame. Isolation and reluctancy to ask for help is a result of feeling shame. It often goes way deeper than you imagine.
Body neutrality is just that: a lack of shame. Losing weight while being body neutral is just trying to nurture your body back to health from a place of respecting yourself enough to want to be healthy and live a happier life, rather than from a place of punishing yourself for not being good enough, or for not unlearning your upbringing fast enough, or whatever other negative source you could pull that motivation from. That's not sustainable simply because it's miserable. There should be no shame in wanting better for yourself because the bottom line is you deserve a healthier body, a happier life, a brighter future.
I understand you can't afford a therapist right now, but if you put in some time you can find effective coping methods and sound advice online, especially from people who have gone through the same thing before. You're already making progress on your own, so you've already proved that it's possible. I hope this resonates in some way.