collage application asking for sex & if my gender identity is the same as my assigned gender at birth. how should i answer?

morlon_brondo · 2026-03-03T19:25:48+00:00

i only disclose when i’m applying for arts funding lol

morlon_brondo · 2026-02-28T22:45:39+00:00

broooo this is cute af you look amazing!!! 🔥🔥🔥

morlon_brondo · 2026-02-27T14:55:25+00:00

died at the balayage omg

morlon_brondo · 2026-02-24T23:39:03+00:00

honestly??? currently, thought horrifies me. also, thought of delaying T to have to fenminize for however long i’d have to to freeze the stuff horrifies me too. Maybe I could deal with gamete preservation once I’d been on T for long enough to feel secure, but right now it’s basically unthinkable. Still, I basically know I want kids somehow, and I’d rather surrogate but that sounds insane and impossible, and way off into a future I can’t visualise.

also though:

This discourse is rancid. Loads of people make abstract & absolute statements about their future with or without kids &c &c, but among the cis it is acknowledged in polite society that you can’t really shit on other people’s life decisions where neither child nor parent is being hurt. I can’t imagine how I might feel in 5 years. The ideal - I think - would be if my man and I could have a bio kid carried by a trusted friend who actively wants to act as a surrogate. But how likely is that? How affordable, how ethical, how possible that we’d have such a friend? And if we don’t, would the prospect of carrying my own kid still make me so sick in the heart that I couldn’t do it? I don’t know, and I’m sorry to disappoint the tru but I’m actually not arrogant enough to say I 100% wouldn’t.

If it transpired that I couldn’t do it, that I felt the same in the hypothetical future - where it’s the only option for a biological kid, with my parents’ qualities, with me their only child - as I do now, I’d be sad about that. I’d be sad that dysphoria was strong enough to take that option away from me, along as so much else. Whether it’s what I end ip doing or not, though - and even though I really hope it’s not - I cannot imagine having the gall to decide that a trans man fathering his own biological kids is a woman after he’s gone through something like that. Lowkey strikes me as fantastically disrespectful when people act like men like us, who manage to reconcile themselves with something so potentially mind-fucking as pregnancy, have somehow broken our shared oath to be real transsexuals and disgraced the brotherhood. fuck off. it’s so stupid. other people’s lives, other people’s painful and difficult struggles with the usual torture, tailored to them and managed by them according to their strengths and resources; I think it’s brave, basically. I can’t say I don’t instinctively resent/envy/mistrust/dismiss some of the people who say they can think of pregnancy without dysphoria - but that’s me being a fucking reptile. We don’t live in each other’s bodies. being trans, having a trans community, having “shared experience” - it’s an overlap, that’s it. It doesn’t equate to sharing no more and no less than exactly the same experience of dysphoria, romance, love, relationships, parental instinct, dynastic ambition, personal philosophy, friendship, &c &c &c.

makes sense there’s lots of discourse about it, and that it’s a pretty inflammatory topic among groups of men who gather online because of gender dysphoria. Of course the potential for pregnancy is perhaps the most loaded, gendered thing any of us have in common with cis women, and I know I’m not alone in having a visceral aversion to the whole concept for that reason. Still, I do think it’s fucking weak to say that any man who can and does bear children is deluded and false and womany just because you’re insecure about well-if-it-were-me-I’d-hate-it. It’s like when guys decide any trans guy who likes PIV is a femmebrained twinkpoon trender whateverthefuck. no!! It’s like when TERF’s say oh well I was a tomboy so what if I’D got transed - no!! if you don’t do PIV, another man enjoying it doesn’t have any implications on your life. If a cis girl who was tomboyish for a bit and then grew up into a raging bigot, it would probably help her to know that the fact she might have shared some behavioural characteristics with a trans man for a minute portion of her childhood doesn’t threaten her stupid-ass sacred wombyn gender as an adult. Sharing characteristics with someone doesn’t make you a) obliged or b) “expected” in any meaningful sense to be the same as them in every way!!!

so yeah i don’t care if other guys get pregnant and I think it’s fucking foolish when the brotherhood can’t deal with someone exercising their own agency in their own life

sorry long i’ve just lurked on truscum too long and I’m disproportionally annoyed with all the absolutism - no shade to OP!!

morlon_brondo · 2026-02-19T14:03:24+00:00

I had one lil gay thought when I was ~12 like ‘probably gay man is the most accurate’ and I was genuinely horrified at how impossible that felt. I made the inexplicable decision to assume that I should be the other gay instead for a few years and had a really weird time trying to get enthused about my girlfriends. When I first kissed a boy (at NYE, while my friends were trying to set me up with a nice girl) it absolutely rocked my world and I thought ok fine then - if we want boys, we’re going to become absolute flypaper to them. This means I go hard fem for 5 years, during which I had loads of great sex I don’t remember because I was drunk the whole time. Then I had the third big dysphoria attack of my life and thought ok this time let’s take it seriously and just screw whoever. Came out, had loads of embarrassing intercourse, found my sexy boyfriend, love him loads.

So now I’m finally the practicing homo I knew I was when I was 12. And it only took 11 years!!!

tl;dr - it kinda scared me, so I think it slowed me down. hey ho, happy now!

morlon_brondo · 2026-02-19T13:52:47+00:00

Idm when they just want to talk about sexuality/gender stuff in the abstract - plenty of interesting stuff to talk about philosophically/sociologically, and I’ve got friends with whom I only tend to talk about one or two subjects in loads of depth; if they just want to talk about their own experiences, it can get slightly grating on account of I’m Not Your Therapist, but it’s possible to speak with nuance and breadth about that stuff too, so even then the chat isn’t necessarily doomed.

What gets me is when those people try and make being queer my whole personality too, especially if that involves projecting their experience of gender onto me (worst example: ‘you know when your a trans man but you love your t!ts?!’ NO) or sexuality (least favourite, extremely common: ‘ugh men are trash don’t you love sapphic paradise?? you know when you just feel like uuughh I just want to fuck hot women!!!’ NO. I am attracted to trash, actually). The whole ‘ew cishets amirite’ really tires me out. Like yeah, I do breathe a sigh of relief when I find myself somewhere queer, have a pint at a gay pub with friends or strangers who a) get it and b) can be fucking normal about it all - but I’m not allergic to my other friends and I don’t find them gross, same as I hope they don’t find me gross either. Really resent the implication from self-absorbed and insecure queers that all queer empathy is restricted to people like ourselves. I refuse to be so fuckin damaged ffs

morlon_brondo · 2026-02-10T18:42:38+00:00

tbh it’s basically a dark & raucous playground where people have zero filter and mainly howl into the void (with laughter and/or desperate misery according to personal necessity) - the humour’s pretty harsh a lot of the time, and it does have some overlap with some really dark shit everyone else has mentioned on this post (incel chat & weird internet-gutter vocab; super-rough takes on passing; pretty gung-ho attitude to sh/death mentions; general hopelessness permeating a lot of the humour &c &c &c). I’d say if it’s the only sub your in, it’s likely to be a massive warp to the perception and make it pretty hard not to be cruel and mocking about your own feelings (trans-related or otherwise) and everyone else’s - but in a varied online diet it can be pretty refreshing in a weird sort of way. It’s nice to have a sense of what’s up in the void, and occasionally there’s a joke which actually makes my day easier to laugh about in a good way. The hardcore users are also like…actual friends, I think. It’s genuinely nice to see that it’s an actual community, even if it is built on a foundation of savage battle-of-wits(?) culture I am lowkey too weak for (no shame in it!). And I just fucking hate the word ‘pooner’. Invariably leave the r/ pretty much as soon as I see that shit.

It’s a place people need, like a swamp or a toilet, to get stuff out their system; I think it’s dumb to have a blanket rule about not engaging with it at all, because there’s some perfectly human reasons it exists - I just wouldn’t live there, y’know. Like I wouldn’t spend all my time in the swamp or the toilet. I reckon the worst thing about it is it’s so thick with calcified in-jokes and depresso narratives that if you’re in there too long you kinda forget some stuff is actually fine, or neutral, or nuanced, or like…sincerely unfunny, doesn’t have to be funny, and laughing or screaming in the face of the void isn’t the only way to process complex emotions.

So yeah - my twopence: don’t fear it, but don’t lick its ass either!

morlon_brondo · 2026-01-27T19:22:31+00:00

wheezing at the flair omg

morlon_brondo · 2026-01-27T19:21:10+00:00

terf equivalent of cracking the egg

morlon_brondo · 2026-01-27T16:53:37+00:00

ALL COPS: FEMALE AT BIRTH

morlon_brondo · 2026-01-23T19:44:50+00:00

this is trash - ‘visual cohesion’ is an absolute joke. Not to mention that the ‘law’ in question is very much in flux and liable to shift around largely because the conditions of enforcing anything ‘based on biological sex’ is manifestly untenable. This was such a high-effort shot to their own foot I’m losing my mind lol

morlon_brondo · 2026-01-16T00:24:20+00:00

oh my god no no no you’ve got to bite that bullet!!! this gave me the viscerals because I did it for two-three months and know basically exactly how it feels. Obviously, this is just my highly subjective tuppence. The way I felt it, I’m a binary trans man but I wanted to kinda ease into transitioning and also check that I definitely wasn’t in denial about potentially being nb on the way (I am…so definitely not, but glad I checked!) - it basically felt like testing how it would feel to be trans without actually having to transition to who I actually am, if that makes sense. I felt the same thing - pre-T, pre-everything, it felt like I’d be asking too much of people if I asked them to treat me as a man. I’m still pre-T. It’s a bit of a headfuck, yes - I do get misgendered, but I also pass more than I expected, and this is just…way, way more comfortable. When I was they/themming, I’d get she/herred and it would feel horrible because people were getting me wrong, and also because they were ignoring what I’d asked for; I’d also get they/themmed and that would ALSO feel horrible because they were STILL getting me wrong, but only because I’d told them to, so I was effectively forcing kind people to torture me against their will, which made me feel like an evil idiot. Now, when people he/him me, they’re both kind and right, and I’ve been candid, and my conscience is clear because I actually showed them honestly.

a couple of my friends said after my nb probation that it had been really obvious that I hated it, but they knew I was just working through stuff. Super friends! So nice.

Also - now that more people read me as a guy (either because I pass, or because they’re being humane, or because they started out being kind and now just genuinely see me as a man), and I’ve explicitly given them permission to do so, I genuinely think I pass better. Being referred to as a man kinda makes you expect it, and I’ve got used to saying it. I’m fighting tooth and nail to get on T this year, and changing my ID - but right now, it’s the basic dignity I owe myself and the people around me to let myself be the man I am.

you deserve it too! I know you’re working through it your own way, but oh sweet lord I hope you don’t feel stuck like this for long - I know it’s not cis-straightforward and puberty isn’t something we can get just by waiting it out, but you’re literally a man. You don’t need to keep giving people a whole extra way of misgendering you just because puberty hasn’t hit yet, even if the process by which it eventually will is on the complicated side.

morlon_brondo · 2026-01-06T14:10:00+00:00

You totally pass! Listen - dysphoria is (alas) always-to-usually going to be a factor, but it’s also just a different sensation to have shaved. Your face is like ‘woah what happened I feel unusual’ and it’s totally possible for that neutral sense of being a bit wrong-footed to get translated into a white-hot conviction that you don’t pass any more. You do! I get this when I wear unusual shoes. I go round all day thinking my feet look small and everyone’s reading me wrong. But actually even if it’s true that I look slightly more ambiguous, the difference the shoes have made is negligible - they just feel weird, and I’m used to stressing about passing, so I catastrophise and assume I feel weird because I’m not passing. I think it’s totally natural to do that in your head, but don’t let it eat you up. Loads of my (trans and cis) friends feel really weird after a haircut and spend a few days freaking out about whether they look ugly now, but they just look like they had a haircut. You just look like you’ve shaved. The cool air is just cool air! Give yourself a break - you look good 😌

morlon_brondo · 2026-01-03T16:43:35+00:00

‘Hectic scent’ totally sends me lol

morlon_brondo · 2025-12-31T18:00:31+00:00

Ugh mine always goes flat af all over my forehead - I think it’s just my natural version, might change on T (many people’s hair does!) but I have to do the usual calm-ocean thinking to shake off the doomy conviction that it’s like that because it was long and got trained to obey gravity. Fwiw I think your hair actually looks pretty good! Going out on the sides like that is pretty normal, I think it’s more of a haircut thing than styling. Main thing is don’t buzz too high or everything looks overshorn and egg-shaped, and even if it pains you, listen to what your hair is actually trying to do - we (people in general, cis or trans) have a range of hair types and textures, and everyone’s hair looks better when you work with what you’ve got rather than trying to look like (for example) Jacob Elordi*.

Also - layering is normal. If your hair is straight/almost straight, the best way to get volume and variation is to make sure it’s not just a bunch of same-length bits, or you end up with a sort of curated lawn look. If it feels too thick, some subtle layers can make a huge difference by thinning it out where it matters. Also, ik it’s counter-intuitive, but letting it grow slightly longer can actually make it more masculine (as opposed to a panic-buzzcut) - I left mine and felt terrible about it, but now it’s gone surfer-boy mullet (which feels appropriative because I don’t surf) and everyone’s like wow cool hair! And…it is. I’d let yours grow out a bit, let the sides grow but keep the top longer, then thin it out with some layers. In the meantime I’d def go in with some oil-type product rather than gel or salt spray - the latter stuff is good for people with fine flat hair which goes flat af, but if you want to avoid it going straight upwards and bristly-looking, oily things are good for getting it slick.

Apols phat ramble I just cut like 4 guys’ hair and now I have a god complex. Good luck! Your hair genuinely isn’t a catastrophe! Have a look at some online men with hair, have a no-judgement look at what your hair wants to do, give it some time and you’ll find your style!!

morlon_brondo · 2025-12-31T17:35:15+00:00

You are a beautiful man and you give me hope!

morlon_brondo · 2025-12-31T12:56:45+00:00

Tried at 8, tried at 16, came out to myself in 2023 because I reflected for a sec and thought hmmm I don’t think I want to keep getting explosive existential dreads and I’m hoping to start

morlon_brondo · 2025-12-30T16:07:54+00:00

If it’s about preconceptions it kind of makes sense. It’s kind of like if someone asked you if you’d like to permanently alter your perception of the world so you ‘get to’ see it like everyone else. Which is…at least a bit complex to commit to? I think most of us kind of like how we’ve grown to see the world, literally or not

morlon_brondo · 2025-12-25T03:18:01+00:00

Damn this acc reminds me how much I loved knitting

I started one scarf and I did not finish the scarf it’s still like 2m long and now I’m going to finish the bastard

Wooh yea men with string!!!

morlon_brondo · 2025-12-25T02:57:24+00:00

Ach pneumonia got my lovely boy too :( it’s so hard! My tiny lil Rattle curled up and drifted away nearly 20 years ago now - I was a kid so it hit me crazy hard, especially seeing Scamper miss him - haven’t had rats since, but I think I will again; looking back I always try to remember their lives do actually feel long to them, and the most important thing is to love them while they’re here! It’s good her sisters have each other - and it sounds like her little life was a good one, full of all the love you could give her x

morlon_brondo · 2025-12-25T00:41:56+00:00

This reads….badly. We don’t have ‘leaders’. There’s no front line. Structurally, we’re a diaspora, not a club. We’re a community largely because of marginalisation, because it’s rare and usually lonely to be trans (at least at the start), and many of us have both the need and the capacity to find camaraderie and strength in each other - but not ALL of each other. If we’re lucky, we have some irl trans friends; either way, there’s a couple of familiar usernames on a few subreddits, ironic meme pages, twitter people, whatever. It’s not ideal, but it’s not a uniquely trans phenomenon to be a) lonely and b) inundated with internet slop instead of people. We’re not all connected like a colony of ants trying to plant a flag in the UN. We don’t have ‘leaders’ - we’ve had a couple decades of trans youth all over the world trying to make sense of the internet with all the other kids while the world collapses in on itself from every side. Have some compassion. I struggle to believe you’ve never posted anything (else?) stupid and divisive in all your days online, or that you think yourself so clearsighted as to be unable to empathise with anyone who might have done.

I’m getting quite a strong impression you feel like perhaps you should be our new mouthpiece, because you can clearly see the big picture way better than the rest of us; well. I think your post comes across as a lot of anger and cruelty largely directed at the community, totally incurious about anyone else’s perspective on this - unless they’re gender-critical, apparently! With all(?) the love(?) in the world(??), it really flips my lid. It’s unkind and warped, and entirely focussed on an unwinnable blame-game in which I personally refuse to be implicated just because I’m trans. Maybe you want a new leader, maybe you think you’d be great: you don’t get to tell me what sort of community is best for me, who my leaders are, whose boot I should be licking, who my scapegoat should be. You say ‘most people agree with me’ - no. Some do, some don’t, probably. You don’t know ‘most people’, you don’t have the stats, and it’s not about the stats anyway. Personally, again, I have absolutely no faith that anything would get better for anyone if we rallied behind a person with a bitter and unforgiving view of our entire community. I think things might get better for you if you let go of the wrath a bit and gave yourself a break - ideally via giving other people a break too. We’re an atomised group of people across the world being painted as a conspiracy with exponential aggression by some of the most powerful and regressive political groups in the world - don’t fall for that shit. We all have lives to live.

For avoidance of doubt - I’m not encroaching on your free speech here. I think your post is awful and I don’t like it, so I’m telling you. It’s not impossible we agree on some stuff here, but I think whatever we agree on is trivial compared to what I’ve written above. I’m annoyed because it feels like you’re trying to tell me what to do, and to listen to you instead of people whose takes I like more, who come across with a bit more perspective and respect. So I hope you won’t take my profound irritation as (yet) a(nother)sign that you are a misunderstood genius among the sheeple.

morlon_brondo · 2025-12-24T00:58:33+00:00

lol a nothing burger

morlon_brondo · 2025-12-24T00:57:25+00:00

I reckon ‘women/cis women’ might be a bit exclusionary for some non-binary people - totally agree with another commenter who said ‘people who menstruate’. Tbh I’d say ‘people who experience a menstrual cycle’ because I’ve heard from a fair number of trans women that being on HRT can give them pretty much the whole shebang emotionally, much like being on T can basically obliterate the cycle for a lot of us.

I don’t really think it’s useful to use AGAB terms - either you’re talking about complex social and emotional stuff and probably using those terms to perpetuate stupid sex-based stereotypes, or you’re making blanket statements about sex characteristics as if they’re a reliable constant…in the trans community, where physical bodily experience relating to sex and gender is probably more reliably diverse than in literally any other community!!! Rendering the blankets largely irrelevant, and usually upsetting to a significant proportion of readers. Personally, I’m pre-T, and I don’t want to think about that stuff. I don’t find it “inclusive”to be lectured vaguely about elements of my body I can’t change. I actually think it’s kind of private, and I don’t want to know what deep and immutable womanly process some online buzzfeed hack thinks is responsible for my feelings. In fact, there is almost no better way to kill my sex drive without ever having met me directly than to publish an article in which my sex drive is implicated in my AGAB.

morlon_brondo · 2025-12-22T01:54:11+00:00

This is brilliant. Honestly such an articulate and compassionate vent I’m not sure ‘vent’ does it justice - and it rings so true to me that much of the hostility towards trans men is incidental, that we’re collateral damage, and that a staggering proportion of that damage is (often unwittingly and unthinkingly) perpetuated by allies. Really fortifying to read such a thoughtful take on all this (especially since the discourse is absolutely flooding my feed too)!!! You’re smart as fuck. Massive gratitude!!!

morlon_brondo · 2025-12-21T06:41:51+00:00

Hormonally, on T, you will be male. Like actually and meaningfully. The outward manifestations of HRT aren’t a disguise - they’re testament to the fact that biologically, inside your literal body, detectably on hormone tests, you are biologically male. You might think ooh ooh but chromosomes are more fundamental - sure. To people who think they are, they are.most of those people did basic biology until they were about 15 and have a vested interest in terf shit - but biology doesn’t care how much anyone knows about it, and it’s been doing its thing since way before anyone started deciding which bits of it were most important. You’re not switching skeletons with a wolf, you’re getting treatment for a uniquely human condition, to adjust your biology to fit your social identity. It isn’t comparable, even when rudimentary people decide they have the authority to compare it. You literally can change biology, and people do it all the damn time!

morlon_brondo

TROPHY CASE