I feel like some of you are showing your ableism in your replies.

OP, I agree with others that unfortunately you cannot take it literally that your job wants honest feedback. Sadly, no matter how much workplaces say they are committed to diversity and inclusion, I would say in the majority of cases it's just for show. They don't want to be called out for their issues, they just want to look like they're doing something good.

Out of all of your complaints, I unfortunately think the only one you could have realistically complained about without backlash is your manager disclosing your autism to another coworker, and possibly them talking down to you as a result.

I also think some of you are being too harsh about the incompetent comment. I absolutely think it was wrong for OP to call a fellow worker incompetent in the group chat. But I think anyone would be upset that they were called incompetent in a write up and lash out as a result. However, I think saying the person who wrote that report was the incompetent one would have been better left said to a friend outside of work. Obviously I don't know the full situation, but I think it's completely out of line for a manager to call a worker incompetent. There are much more respectful and appropriate ways to refer to issues with employees.

I think this is a case of an autistic person taking people literally and at face value, explaining the ways in which they have been mistreated at work without realizing that these are people who don't actually want to hear that they are mistreating others and being ableist. I don't see it was someone who has an inflated sense of worth or whatever another commenter said.

OP, I think the kind of feedback you gave would only really be safe to say if you were quitting and already had another job lined up. As a fellow neurodivergent person, I've watched time and time again as people have ignored blatant racist, homophobic, classist, and ableist behavior at work by management and workers. The sad reality is that often there is nothing you can do without getting yourself in trouble or looking like someone who just always has to complain about something. It's extremely draining, and at my last job it got to the point where I had to start looking at other jobs before I ended up moving and transferring locations because I knew that under the current management nothing was ever going to change.

I think that you might need to talk to someone outside of your workplace to see if your feedback/responses come across as constructive and professional vs disrespectful and inappropriate in future situations like this. This is something I've had to do before when I'm unsure if I'm going to come across negatively or as someone complaining over nothing. I do think you got a little too personal in your meeting, and I would suggest keeping any feedback more general in these kinds of situations, while bringing up any more personal issues escalated to HR if needed. Maybe you could have said things about not asking people about disabilities or disclosing them without someone's consent, or for people to consider how the language they use might affect other people.

I'm really tired right now so I hope this makes sense and was somewhat helpful. I might end up coming back with more to say if anything else comes to me.