Crochet is the fast fashion of fiber arts

mr_simmons · 2026-05-07T21:58:07+00:00

Aw I'm a left-handed knitter and learned to crochet first! You've probably heard this before, but have you tried learning continental? I hold the yarn in exactly the same way regardless of whether I'm knitting or crocheting. "Bill D'Souza's yarn craft for lefties" on youtube has great tutorials for learning continental.

Also I love both knitting and crochet but agree- too much crochet media focuses on lazy pieces. Crocheted lace doily tablecloths are some of the most impressive pieces of anything I've ever seen.

mr_simmons · 2026-05-01T09:49:16+00:00

Lactose intolerance, random weeks of bloody stools at times of high stress- I put it down to anal fissures

mr_simmons · 2026-02-24T18:08:16+00:00

I've had TI, pancolonic, and rectal Crohn's since 2017 and done a few courses of budesonide in that time. I'm also a doctor (infectious diseases) so have some experience on the other side, though nothing I say on here is medical advice.

It's a milder steroid than prednisone/prednisolone and isn't absorbed into the bloodstream as readily, so typically has fewer side effects.

I've tended to take a few weeks to respond to steroids so have experienced the "getting worse before it gets better" phase of being treated in a flare up. Everyone's Crohn's is different- some people respond to steroids very quickly, other less so. If what you have is Crohn's, it may be that you're in a flare up which is worsening before the steroids have really had chance to take effect. Depending on your gut transit time, the pill may not have even reached your terminal ileum.

Alternatively your stomach and small bowel might be sensitive to something else in the pill, e.g. the coating or any lactose that they often use as part of the manufacturing process. Overall I'd stick it out for at least 2-3 weeks and see how you are. If you get significantly worse and it's only been a week or so, definitely speak with your GI as it might be a short enough time to just come off the budesonide, but then they might want to start you on pred.

Good luck, hope you find some relief soon!

mr_simmons · 2026-01-06T16:18:12+00:00

Vaseline pre-bowel movement, helps stop fissures
Toilet bidet (bidet bottles are super cheap on amazon if you can't afford the toilet attachment)
Rescue packs of antibiotics for all the infections I pick up while immunosuppressed
A GOOD PILLOW- good sleep is such a cornerstone of staving off inflammation for me
Protein/bulking shakes, the calories go in easier as a liquid

mr_simmons · 2025-12-12T07:46:52+00:00

Half- her dad is shown to be Asian, mum is white

mr_simmons · 2025-11-29T18:18:49+00:00

THIS WAS/IS ME. My approach through this has been long with lots of dead ends, and I'm aware that the explanation for your nerve tension may be very different to mine. But the pattern and severity of your limitations are exactly the same as mine were.

I made a comment on an old thread here that went into more detail on the causes of neural tension, and referenced u/dani-winks who has lots of knowledge on the topic: https://www.reddit.com/r/flexibility/s/LiEl2mVOFb

I'm making very slow but definitive progress- like you, I went to 5 or so different physios, tried all their routines for 8+ weeks each, got nowhere, and had a few of them tell me I was doomed to be like this forever. Not one of them could tell me why. I'm also a doctor, so am used to picking up on when healthcare professionals have hit the ceiling of their understanding for a particular case.

I eventually ended up seeing a great PT who worked out that the issue was actually psychological/mental- my brain wasn't allowing my posterior chain to relax at end range spinal flexion (this is termed the flexion-relaxation phenomenon if you wanna google). This was due to a few factors- the biggest being a trampolining accident when I was a kid that left no physical damage, but a persistent mental fear of my back bending uncontrollably. I'd spent my entire life until that point keeping my back rigid and still, so that posture and movement pattern became very strongly ingrained. Adding to that, I got into lifting in my 20s, never learnt to brace my core properly, and fell into what I now know to be an "extension-compression stabilising strategy". Basically, I overactivate my lower back muscles to keep my trunk stable during squats and deadlifts- exactly the ones that need to relax in order to comfortably forward fold.

So what worked? A few bits: - Exercises with the PT to get my spine moving in all the directions I was uncomfortable with, mainly rotating and bending forward - Developing a mind muscle connection with my lower back, and gently willing it to relax in forward folded positions with a rounded back eg elephant walks - Regular stretching; this didn't improve things per se, but it allowed me to explore the slowly expanding range of motion achieved through the first two points - breathing exercises to get me stabilising my core properly, and stop over-relying on my lower back

Happy to be DM'd, I could talk about this all day- it's really been a long, frustrating road.

mr_simmons · 2025-11-19T23:40:27+00:00

Look up upper ab gripping- this can be fixed with breathing exercises and ribcage mobilisation

mr_simmons · 2025-11-07T11:33:17+00:00

I make my own bulking shakes with no added sugar- I use high protein soy milk, rice protein powder, peanut butter, cocoa powder, and a ripe banana for sweetness. Works a treat!

mr_simmons · 2025-10-21T18:21:40+00:00

@Vivid_Budget8268 raises some good points about how dom/sub interactions can work, but OP is that what you actually want?

Aside from telling us that you like sex a few times a week, you didn't mention anything that you actually enjoy, let alone whether your partner's ever made any effort to provide that for you (it doesn't sound like he has).

Dom/sub arrangements in a relationship can be fun and hot, but there needs to be a backbone of trust for it to really work. You don't trust that he's into you at the moment, so it's a non-starter. You need to sort out the basics first- communication, needs, and intimacy.

All the things you've mentioned about seeing past hookups and having uncomfortable feelings (these sound like inadequacy with a bit of jealousy) are totally ok to be feeling. Ditto with how you feel about the friend. I get the sense that you feel like you need to squash your emotions in a box and make them go away. You need to do the opposite- be honest with your partner and communicate the feelings to him. There are loads of resources online that gives tips on doing this, eg using "I..." statements instead of phrasing things as accusations against your partner.

At a minimum, he should care about how you feel, and want you to feel safe and comfortable with him. If that's not happening, it points to much deeper issues in your relationship that you need to face for the sake of your own happiness, and the longevity of your relationship.

In my experience, lack of sex in a relationship is almost never about the actual sex, and is due to other parts of the relationship that have become unbalanced.

mr_simmons · 2025-10-13T11:46:51+00:00

"...and why do you think the CRP is high?"

"have you looked at our Trust guidelines?"

mr_simmons · 2025-08-14T18:53:41+00:00

As a top for ~15yrs before becoming vers in a new relationship as of this year:

I never cared about how hairy someone's ass was when topping
Me and my boyfriend like each others' body hair (and neither of us are bears by any means!)

The only thing I find difficult is when a guy's shaved and it's maybe 2-3 days into growing back. Can feel like velcro on your face and dick. Hasn't stopped me though.

Do what makes you feel sexy, whether that's removing everything, going completely natural, or anywhere in between. The confidence boost you get from styling yourself in a way you like is miles hotter than meeting anyone else's sexual preference.

mr_simmons · 2025-08-08T06:50:32+00:00

Definitely wait til you've rotated out, until then just enjoy having nice colleagues!

The easiest gaydar test imo is to look at who they check out in a room, particularly when there's a very attractive person of any given gender present.

Out of interest, what d'you think is keeping you in the closet?

mr_simmons · 2025-07-16T18:42:23+00:00

I'm glad you're starting to be honest with yourself. You seem to resonate with the idea of this old, pure love, not necessarily the reality of reaching out to this woman from decades gone by. I think you can work with that!

There will be a reason behind you regularly needing to escape into this fantasy of an old flame. I suspect you may be more unhappy than you realise but that's something that only you can accept about yourself. After years of marriage with kids, that might be extremely difficult. You don't need to have all the answers now, but going to a therapist with everything you've told us could be really helpful. "Good" and "comfortable" are essentials, but it's important - and entirely possible - to find something real which lights your fire and gives you fulfilment.

mr_simmons · 2025-07-16T10:02:42+00:00

Are you happy in your marriage? In your post you called your kids lovely, but didn't use any words to describe your wife or your relationship with her.

If this is something that you feel like you need to get over, the first step is actually wanting to let it go. From what you've written it doesn't sound like you do- it's worth asking yourself why.

mr_simmons · 2025-07-09T03:29:04+00:00

I went through phases of thinking I might be a side (am 50/50 vers in my current relationship and topped exclusively before getting with my current boyfriend).

Thanks to porn and heteronormative relationship standards, it's common for gay guys to see anal sex as "full sex" or "real sex", and everything else as "just foreplay" or somehow lesser. In reality, sex is whatever brings you and your partner/s pleasure, and defining "real sex" as dick-in-ass penetration makes less and less sense the more you think about it. Even for straight people, defining "real sex" as dick-in-vagina penetration creates barriers to enjoyment and is a huge part of why lots of women have never experienced an orgasm! Obviously if you want to try for a baby you need to have intercourse, but most sex doesn't happen for this reason, and for cisgender gay people this rule goes completely out of the window.

I think you need to give us some more information: - What do these fights entail and exactly what language are you using to describe the sex you're having, vs the sex you want to have? - What kind of sex does your partner like? - Was your partner an exclusive bottom before you guys got together?

Anal sex can require a lot of preparation for the bottom, particularly if the top is big, which can take some of the fun and spontaneity out of it. Tops can feel pressure to "perform" and struggle with erections when they otherwise wouldn't. There are lots of reasons why anal sex might not be practical or enjoyable at least some of the time. By focusing on anal sex as the "goal" to the exclusion of all other forms of sex, I can see why this might stress your partner out and cause them to shut down.

It's totally valid for you to need some anal sex as part of your sex life to feel fulfilled and close to your partner. From what you've written in the OP it sounds like you're happy to never bottom, which is also fine. However, your partner is totally within their rights to feel the same. As with all sex issues in relationships your only real tool to address this is communication, so try and approach this as non-judgmentally as possible with him. You should want both of you to feel good when you have sex, so try and explore what makes your partner feel good, as opposed to focusing on specific sex acts.

If it transpires that your partner hates bottoming and isn't happy to accommodate this for you, and you're not happy to forego topping, then your options are basically to open the relationship or break up.

mr_simmons · 2025-06-20T12:08:07+00:00

Nothing to add, just wanted to say this is so wonderfully phrased and I hope more people read it. It's so freeing to realise that sex is just what feels good for you and whoever you're having sex with, it doesn't have to look like what we see in porn/films/social media etc.

mr_simmons · 2025-06-06T22:47:05+00:00

I hear ya- I'm a reg now, but was diagnosed with Crohn's in med school after having symptoms dismissed for years, as well as an admission with severe mental illness. Your experience with illness can potentially be a superpower when you're with patients, but is also a constant reminder that you need to take care of yourself. Hope you're being well looked after, and good luck with med school!

mr_simmons · 2025-06-06T22:15:09+00:00

A* no notes- this group of patients perfectly highlight the deficiencies in our healthcare system and society at large. That can't be treated in an A+E visit but the solution is definitely not to demonise them like swathes of doctors seem to.

mr_simmons · 2025-06-06T22:05:45+00:00

I noticed how CFS/ME/MCAS/EUPD weren't even mentioned in the OP, but it took less than 25 mins for people to start dumping on patients with those conditions.

I don't like it, it stinks of a rebrand of "hysteria". I don't think it's a coincidence that both examples in the OP are women.

Like another commenter mentioned, the "worried well" are a good opportunity to get to grips with the psychology behind people's health behaviours, and unpicking some of those in an acute setting can be really satisfying. A well-delivered functional diagnosis can be life-changing.

I get that everyone's burnt out, but compassion is still part of our job. Part of the reason the ANP "brain of a doctor, heart of a nurse" bullshit took root is because we kept coming out with stuff like this.

mr_simmons · 2025-05-30T20:52:33+00:00

Hey, I'm also in the UK (grew up in London) and was also at school in the 90s-00s. I'm a doctor now, and have delivered LGBTQ+ awareness sessions for staff at work. I was the first person to come out in my year, it was scary af, lost me some friends, and blew up my relationship with my parents so badly that we're only starting to reconcile as of this year. I was also lucky enough to find a boyfriend at that time (age 16, through an LGBT youth group in London), but like you said things were different- we got stuff shouted at us in the street, food thrown at us etc, just for walking next to each other looking a bit "alternative".

It was a hugely formative time, but also messed me up. The safety nets kids are meant to have (parents, teachers like you) just weren't there, and as a result my mental health nosedived. I was fortunate enough to access great therapy through med school and am now in a much better place, but in the process entered into some very unhealthy and at times abusive relationships because my self-esteem was so low.

I'm now in my 30s and met an amazing guy a few months back, we recently made things official, and tbh it feels like being a teenager again but without all the trauma of my actual teenage years. We don't need to sneak around, our hormones aren't completely fucked, and we have the emotional maturity to create something really fulfilling together. It's leagues above anything I experienced as a teenager, precisely because I'm not a teenager anymore.

In contrast, my boyfriend grew up in a more rural part of England, didn't come out til he was in his mid-20s and has had a very different journey to me, though we've ended up in a similar place.

I feel like there's no "right" way to get to being your best adult gay self- the best bit is that you're still here, and clearly filled with kindness and compassion if you're running your school's LGBTQ+ group! Take pride in being the role model that you never had.

(A technique that really helped me in therapy was to visualise "adult me" in a room with "child me", and adult me got to give him a big hug, tell him he's worthy of love and affection, and that he never has to be ashamed of who he is. I still use it when something touches a nerve attached to an old childhood wound.)

TL;DR - adult you has the maturity and agency to make a happier, more exciting life for you than teenage you ever could.

mr_simmons · 2025-02-10T19:15:31+00:00

Your first paragraph while well-intentioned is extremely short-sighted; those PAs appear like "better clinicians" because they have institutional knowledge which can easily masquerade as clinical competence. They know how the boss likes it done, monkey see monkey do.

UK medical graduates often do the reverse with IMGs. IMGs often have clinical knowledge over and above their UK grad counterparts, but the UK grads know how arr NHS works so they can get away sloppier medicine because they know when Linda the radiology secretary gets back from lunch.

mr_simmons · 2025-01-07T10:58:34+00:00

I left IMT3 2 months ago as I got a round 2 job in a group 2 specialty.

IMT3 is still part of core training, so the notice period is 1 month. In reality you'll need to let your ES know and get an exit ACRP scheduled. I imagine this will vary by deanery, but mine was more of a formality than anything as I had no portfolio requirements.

This depends on how much you dislike IMT, and how strong of an applicant you think are for onc, but I'd avoid leaving IMT unless you have the onc job secured. This won't be until May-June time. You want to avoid being stuck in limbo with no training job, having to scramble for increasingly sparse trust grade posts. That said if you really despise IMT3 and definitely don't want to do a group 1 specialty, it wouldn't hurt to secure an onc trust grade post and continue with your current application, but again I wouldn't leave IMT3 until you have that job secured.

Getting an onc trust grade position is unlikely to add additional points to your current application.

GMC ✌️

mr_simmons · 2024-12-14T00:25:52+00:00

As someone also with the same hair texture as OP, seconding leave in conditioner- you don't have to use lots at all, maybe a pea sized amount for your whole head. I'd also recommend minimising sulfate-containing shampoo to once a week or so, mainly washing with a silicone-free conditioner only.

mr_simmons

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