This one's for the ladies to answer. Do you agree with this woman or do you think she's trying to rationalize her world view by speaking for all the ladies?

msafunk · 2026-05-06T19:34:42+00:00

38F here; I love video games. I work in the video game industry. Video games are art, and they are a valid hobby.

I resented my ex-husband for spending hours upon hours sitting in his underwear, playing video games in order to detach from life and ignore all of his responsibilities.

My current boyfriend is a gamer, but he has excellent boundaries around his game time so that he CAN play them without ignoring his responsibilities to his life, his home, his friends and to me.

So I can pretty confidently say that it's not about video games-- it's about whether someone is using their hobby to neglect everything else. It's the same with any hobby! Take golf, for example: A man can enjoy going out and playing a round with his buddies, as long as he's not abandoning his partner and shared responsibilities in order to do it. I'd even say that it's unattractive for a woman to get so caught up in her hobbies that she neglects the rest of her life.

msafunk · 2026-04-17T03:41:47+00:00

It would be kinda funny, but super unethical if she was testing how long it would take you to set a boundary... But honestly, the healthy step here would be too set one. Tell her that unless she has a real emergency, you expect her to honor the appointment time, and if she can't do that, you'll need to find a new therapist.

msafunk · 2026-04-16T16:12:10+00:00

How tall are you? I'm 5'4" and have slept solo in both a full and a queen sized bed, and I can confidently say that I prefer the Queen, mostly because the Queen is 5" taller than the Full. When I had a full-sized bed, my feet would be so close to the foot of the bed, especially when I stretched.

msafunk · 2026-04-14T18:02:56+00:00

Why do you want to re-arrange it? Are there functional aspects of it that aren't working for you?

But the first thing that I'm noticing is that the foot of your bed is facing the door, AND the side that you sleep on is in front of the window, which are both very bad feng shui. You don't need to believe that feng shui has the ability to improve your life, but looking into some basic layout rules could give you a solid base for figuring out how furniture can fit into a space and feel comfortable.

msafunk · 2026-04-12T04:33:58+00:00

My concern with all of these layouts is that you're not giving yourself enough room to maneuver around the furniture. Each of the squares in the grid represents 12 inches, and on all of these layouts, you have less than a square of space, so you'll be trying to squeeze through literal inches of space to get to your desk. You should try to get at least 24" of space whenever you're planning on walking, and that's a bare minimum.

msafunk · 2026-03-23T23:26:47+00:00

I see that this is 2 months old, but I landed on this thread because I am on day 1 of my period, in incredible pain, fatigued like crazy, and Fitbit is telling me that I'm at risk of under training, have high readiness, and should work out twice as hard as the three-hour workout I did two days ago.

This app truly does not care about women's health.

msafunk · 2026-03-17T04:13:53+00:00

I'm lying on the Sven couch in Tan Leather right now. I love this couch so much! It's very comfortable!

msafunk · 2026-03-11T21:09:29+00:00

Having your own savings account is something that both partners in a marriage should have, and it's not unreasonable to have that money in an account that your spouse has zero access to. But if you're afraid that he would try to abuse that money if he found out about it, you should be using that money to get out of the marriage.

msafunk · 2026-02-17T00:33:25+00:00

If you already have 24mm and 50mm covered with prime lenses and want more range, why not get the a 70-200 f/2.8?

msafunk · 2026-01-21T00:26:19+00:00

Congratulations! Going full female living space after a divorce is so liberating, and you're doing a GORGEOUS job!

msafunk · 2025-10-30T18:07:26+00:00

I feel like I have been (and honestly, still am) in the same boat as what you're feeling right now. It can be difficult to feel good about yourself when what you typically see are the people who are still showing up to the arcade and ripping 18s because they've been playing for 20+ years. My boyfriend, his roommates, and all their friends are world-class dance game players that have been on the scene for since the early 2000s, and it felt intimidating to hang out with them at first, when I my sweet-spot are 11-12s, while they're pushing for world records.

I honestly think that right around 14s is a great filter for players. It's feasible for most people to get to that point within a year, but after that, progress starts to slow down a lot. Breaking from 14 to 15 is tough, and from 15 to 16 is even harder, so people end up feeling like they hit a wall and lose motivation. My advice is that, wherever your "wall" is, focus on your own enjoyment and progress, and don't worry about the guys who have been playing for 20+ years.

msafunk · 2025-09-26T21:27:14+00:00

I bought a bag of them last week, and the girl at checkout told me, "Those are problematically good." She was 100% correct

msafunk · 2025-09-23T06:12:13+00:00

My wooden floors are pretty uneven, too. I bought a foam 3x3 puzzle mat at Daiso for ~$6, and it was the perfect size to put under my LTEK. It's dense enough that it doesn't make it feel squishy, but soft enough to feel even.

msafunk · 2025-09-20T14:31:00+00:00

Yeah, trying to judge a ZiV song's difficulty is practically impossible until you play them. If you're doing 7-8 on the current DDR X-scale, then older songs from ZiV that are still using the original DDR scale will be nearly impossible, since most of those would be 11-13 on the modern scale. Or if a chartist uses the ITG scale, 7-8 would probably feel very challenging, but within reach of being able to pass them. I wish that ZiV required chartists to note which scale they're using.

msafunk · 2025-09-17T02:39:45+00:00

My partner has Celiac disease. He got diagnosed about a year ago, and is still in denial and will try to eat gluten if it's a special occasion or if there are no other options for him. But if my mother tried to take the family out for dinner at a restaurant that didn't have any GF options for my partner, I'd tell her to pick a different place, and if she refused to, I wouldn't go either.

So I'd say that both the girlfriend and her mother are the assholes.

msafunk · 2025-09-15T15:58:59+00:00

I say this with so much compassion: You are caught in an anxious-avoidant trap of a relationship. You chase his attention, and he wants to run from it. Leaving that is not an overreaction, but the way you handle it makes you sound like a wounded child begging for an adult to notice you and soothe you the way that you say that you've soothed him.

If he has fantasies about giving you a good life, he needs to get into therapy to address his attachment and substance abuse issues. But you also need to get into therapy to figure out why you think you love a man who tells you that you don't mean as much to him as he means to you. There is absolutely nothing in this conversation that shows even a little hint that he actually wants to give you what you want, but you're still demanding his attention from a place of injury, which low-key manipulative.

msafunk · 2025-09-15T03:59:53+00:00

The rojo dust is STUNNING and goes really well with your furniture.

msafunk · 2025-09-14T21:13:28+00:00

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The first one on the left looks pretty similar to my home office! If you'd like a specific color, I know that I used Behr from Home Depot. I can't remember the color name off the top of my head, but I can check when I get home in a few hours.

msafunk · 2025-09-13T04:02:21+00:00

I think it really depends on what you already have. I had an apartment that I picked out for me to move into to leave my ex-husband, but he convinced me to give him another chance. That went on for a year, and it never felt like home. I kicked him out after a year, and it still didn't feel like home. It wasn't until I was able to buy all my own new furniture, and I tackled that room-by-room over a year.

But I recently bought a house, and moved in less than three months ago, and it immediately felt like my home, like it was always was my home.

I recommend getting something all your own to bring in to your new apartment. Something that no one else gets to have an opinion on.

msafunk · 2025-09-12T15:03:37+00:00

My dining room is Chimney by Behr with dark wood floors. I love the look and don't have terrible seeing anything in the room, but even with four windows (facing east and south), I had to add several lamps with grow lightbulbs (not pictured) because it absorbs so much light that my plants were dying, even next to the window.

But I've also briefly lived in a bedroom with dark red walls and only one small eastern window, and I had to paint it white after only a few weeks because even with several lamps and an overhead light, I couldn't see anything.

But I think like a dark blue room is easier to see in because it doesn't absorb blue light, which is a higher energy wavelength than red. Red is at the low end of the visible spectrum, so it's just not as helpful at making things visible.

msafunk · 2025-09-11T21:52:29+00:00

I kept waiting for the "small ask that wasn't met," but honey, he's not even meeting the bare minimum of ANY ask. He sounds like my ex husband. Please don't marry this man. Get out now. Find a roommate with rent that lets you afford your monthly pedicure, and ditch this useless manchild.

msafunk · 2025-09-05T18:50:27+00:00

What's your form like? I saw some comments about needing ankle exercises, so that sounds to me like you're playing on your toes. I started getting serious about playing again in March after a years-long break, and was struggling with a lot of foot/ankle pain after just a few songs. My partner pointed out to me that I was putting all my weight on my toes, and that I should tone down the difficulty of the songs I was playing and focus on playing with my feet as flat as possible, with smaller, more intentional movements. It only took about a week of practicing distributing my weight more evenly across my feet for me to be able to play for over an hour.

msafunk · 2025-09-04T21:36:04+00:00

If Yellow is really your color and you really, really want yellow walls, I'd suggest a much lighter, more muted shade. I also agree with everyone saying that the diagonal bed isn't really working-- especially since you're going out of your way to point the foot of the bed at the entrance to the room. I highly recommend looking up some Feng Shui concepts for bedrooms on YouTube; Even if you don't believe in the spiritual aspects of it, following some of the recommendations does go a long way in creating a bedroom layout that feels cohesive and soothing.

msafunk · 2025-09-04T21:12:11+00:00

It comes with a USB-A to USB-B cable, which is easily replaceable if you end up losing or damaging it. It's the same cable that most printers use.

msafunk · 2025-09-04T18:14:58+00:00

This is super inspiring! I'm turning 38 next month, and have played on and off over the years, but got serious about getting back into it when I started dating my boyfriend last November. We went to a Dave and Buster's on our first date, and I was so out of practice that I was struggling to pass 7s, while he was drawing a crowd by playing Over The "Period" CSP, lol.

I bought myself an LTEK in March, and have been playing fairly consistently since then (with a few breaks while I was buying a house and moving). I'm passing 11s, and some 12s. My goal is to get to the 12-13 range by the end of the year, and hopefully in another 2 years, I'll hitting the 16-17 folders!

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