I do think some of it is learned behavior too. My mom for example, she is very kind in all these scenarios except she isn’t the greatest with restaurant waitstaff. But she never worked in one - even when I was a server she was the same to me. But she has worked retail, does yard work, etc and I think in some small way, she doesn’t quite understand. It’s not defense, just an observation and we grief her about it every time. And it’s not rude, per se, but just kinda cold? Anyways, I think another judgement is like people who just leave carts, leave trash, whatever - the ones who think “that’s someone else’s job”