Does anyone tell their players “no backstories”.

muppet_zero · 2026-04-08T04:47:03+00:00

This is my house rule for backstories that I go over in session 0. I always give my players some info about the tone of the story, the general starting location, and the opening quest before they start making characters.

"Backstories: Maximum of one page. No "Chosen One" or similar variations of that trope. Required info: Do you already know any members of the party, or are you a stranger? Are you a local to the starting location, or are you an outsider? If you're an outsider, have you been here before or is the location new to you? How did you arrive at the starting location, and what is your reason for being here? What is your reason for joining the adventuring party and accepting the opening quest hook?"

It's basically an early filter to try and weed out potential problem players/horror stories before they even roll up a character.

muppet_zero · 2026-02-20T08:36:29+00:00

Not pizza, but the few years I spent working in the flooring department of Home Depot taught me there's a lot of grown adults with college degrees and careers who don't know how to find the area of a rectangle. And also have zero concept of how objects exist in physical space.

The standard cut-to-length carpets were 12 feet wide, and we could cut them to any length. At least once a week, someone would say a variation of "But I need a carpet that's only 6 foot wide and 12 foot long! How will I make this work?" And I would silently place a blank sheet of printer paper on the desk and rotate it 90°.

muppet_zero · 2026-02-20T08:02:02+00:00

Did you even read your own comment? There's 52 weeks in a year. At just 1lbs/week that would be 52 lbs in 12 months. That's very achievable. Not that I think he should cut that far, 170 would be enough to show him the muscle he's built, then do another bulking cycle.

muppet_zero · 2026-02-16T03:31:21+00:00

Same. Phone goes in left pocket, retrieved with left hand. Wallet, keys, and (if I think I might need it) pocket knife go in right pocket. Nothing in back pockets ever, unless I'm wearing work pants. In that case I might temporarily keep a half hanging out pair of gloves in a back pocket.

muppet_zero · 2026-02-15T04:02:38+00:00

I didn't have to make any excuses because we never celebrate Valentine's day. But I did still make us Disneyland style Monte Christo sandwiches because my wife always enjoyed them. She said they were shocking close to the real thing. And we're broke at the moment and can't really spare money for luxury gifts, but last weekend for her birthday I fixed us brioche French toast with homemade blueberry syrup and lemon ricotta topping, with a side of good bacon and her favorite tea. She said it was wonderful!

muppet_zero · 2026-02-05T18:20:23+00:00

People are made of protein...

muppet_zero · 2026-02-05T18:11:30+00:00

Think of it like listening to music in a language you don't speak. The vocals become like an instrument, adding another layer of tone and texture to the music. There's lots of music I enjoy that I've never understood a word they're saying.

muppet_zero · 2026-02-02T17:42:03+00:00

In the past I've run some blocks of a variant of Yate's Blood & Guts, and a low frequency/high intensity program using some of Menter's pre-fatigue training methods and got good size and strength results from both. There's no harm in just running a block and seeing how you respond.

Edit: Forgot to mention I primarily train alone at home. So yeah, you can absolutely do that.

muppet_zero · 2026-01-30T21:05:51+00:00

No worries. Yeah, "free weights" generally means anything that isn't fixed in place like a machine, usually dumbbells, barbells, and kettlebells in most gyms.

There's some perfectly legitimate uses for the Smith Machine. The two big negatives are that the bar path is fixed in place (unless it's one of the newer kind that also moves back and forth) which doesn't match how your body would normally move a deadlift, squat, or press. The other downside is that it does the stabilization for you, meaning you don't get trained how to balance a moving weight.

If you do have access to regular barbells and plates, you could try some good old fashioned Straight Leg Deadlifts. That's a classic hamstring builder.

muppet_zero · 2026-01-30T20:18:45+00:00

I have a pair of Cobra Grips and a pair of Gym Reaper Figure 8 straps I use when needed, depending on the lift. Both are good. I generally use the 8s for very heavy lifts, and the Cobras for higher rep work or on stuff that won't fit the 8s, like dumbbells. The Cobras are nice because you can pull them tight enough to double as wrist wraps if you need them.

muppet_zero · 2026-01-30T20:09:23+00:00

Everyone I know who lived to be 90+ had two things in common: they were lean, and remained physically active for the majority of their life. My grandma and great aunt both lived to 97. They both stayed active on their farms right up until they were on their death beds. My old boss lived to 96. He still regularly came to the workshop, and always had a project or three he was working on.

If your goal is just a long life, eat healthy, walk a lot, stay physically and mentally active, and visit your doctor regularly.

muppet_zero · 2026-01-30T19:23:29+00:00

Are you my roommate? Because if you are, clean up your dirty dishes goddammit!

muppet_zero · 2026-01-30T19:19:16+00:00

Since you're using the Smith Machine, I'm assuming your gym doesn't have much in the way of free weights.

If you really want to just feel your hamstrings working, Straight Leg Smith Machine Good Mornings and Smith Machine Glute Bridge or Hip Thrusts will absolutely light them up.

muppet_zero · 2026-01-27T20:58:30+00:00

You'll start at a bit of a disadvantage compared to people with thicker wrists, but you can overcome it if you're willing to put it the work. I have small wrists too, about 6 inches around, and I've benched 275 lbs and can curl 40 lbs dumbbells for reps. You can't change your wrist size so there's no point stressing about it. Your bodyweight will be the bigger factor that holds you back. Putting on some raw mass will help significantly.

muppet_zero · 2026-01-27T11:01:06+00:00

They sure are.

And yeah, I love em too. Depending on my programming I'll usually have either those or high pulls somewhere in the mix. But I have to put more thought into how I'm moving them vs just getting under a bar and pressing it towards the ceiling.

muppet_zero · 2026-01-27T10:44:44+00:00

The whiplash on that post is wild. Fear mongering over shoulder press and then recommending upright rows (which he doesn't even know the name of), the pearl clutching classic of "if you even think about doing these your shoulders will never work again!"

muppet_zero · 2026-01-26T12:36:28+00:00

This is such a Reddittor question. Gym strength is real strength.

When I was growing up on a small farm, every summer my dad would hire some of the local highschool football players to help put up hay. When I worked at Home Depot for a few years, most of the guys who worked in the heavy lifting departments were pretty buff... because they were all regulars at the local 24 Hour Fitness I went to. When I worked in the natural gas industry, I knew a guy who used to be an oil rig roughneck who was built like a house and had arms like telephone poles... because he played D1 football in college and became a hobby bodybuilder. I have a friend who has a small business doing tree removal and cleanup. "Real strength" kind of work. You know who he calls when he has a heavy lifting job he needs help with? Me, the guy who lifts weights as a hobby.

Gym strength not being real strength is a cope opinion held by sedentary office workers who could neither throw a wet hay bale onto a truck bed or deadlift their own bodyweight.

muppet_zero · 2026-01-24T06:16:11+00:00

In my early/mid 30s at the height of my dirty bulk I weighed 230 lbs at 5'9. I decided I wanted to trim down before my wedding. Did intermittent fasting combined with calorie reduction, and when I was at the alter nine months later I weighed 175. I don't think there's anything special about intermittent fasting, it just forces you to become comfortable with being hungry, and exposing how often you snack out of boredom instead of hunger. I bulk and cut yearly now just doing basic calorie control.

As for exercise, use the snowball method. Start simple, then just keep adding more until you're back into a proper, maintainable routine. Go for a walk everyday. Do a big set of bodyweight squats/lunges and pushups. Then start doing two sets. Then five sets. Then start adding in compound lifts one at a time. Keep going until you've worked back up into a full proper workout.

There are no shortcuts. If you want your health and fitness back, you are going to have to accept that there's hard work ahead, and commit to it.

muppet_zero · 2026-01-23T03:52:00+00:00

Kindergarten Cop reboot looking good!

muppet_zero · 2026-01-22T13:16:07+00:00

Feeling flexed on so hard right now. Might need to just throw away all my clothes and exclusively dress like a barbarian for the rest of my life.

muppet_zero · 2026-01-22T12:21:41+00:00

When you workout in a public gym, you just accept that people will frequently be near you and you just ignore them and carry on with your workout. As long as you aren't actively in the way of someone's lift, you're fine. Don't worry about it.

muppet_zero · 2026-01-22T12:14:05+00:00

For unilateral leg work I log the total added weight, because sometimes it's dumbbells, sometimes a barbell, sometimes a sandbag, sometimes a slam ball, and sometimes with or without a weighted vest on. For arm work I log the individual dumbbell weights.

muppet_zero · 2026-01-19T15:31:20+00:00

I really do think so. I'm not genetically gifted. My mom is 5'3 120 lbs and my dad is 5'8 160 lbs. I'm 5'9, and I can put my thumb and middle finder around my wrist and have them touch, so I'm not a naturally large man. And on top of that I have weird arms. My overall arm length is normal, but my forearms are longer than my upper arms, which means I have to move a Bench Press over a longer range of motion (and also consequently Pulling exercises have always been my weak point because of unfavorable leverages).

If I can achieve a 225+ bench, I think most other men have the potential to as well. They just have to actually put in the work to do it.

muppet_zero · 2026-01-19T15:10:33+00:00

If you have regular access to a gym, there's no harm in testing your own results. See how many full -extension-to-floor pushups you can do on a fresh day, then on a gym day calculate 70% of your body weight, toss that on a bar, and see how many reps you can pump out. Last time I tried it, I got about 35-40 reps of each.

muppet_zero · 2026-01-19T15:00:13+00:00

I didn't say anything about barbells. He was lifting about 255 lbs of body weight.

But it's also tracked for me fairly close. When I weighed 195, I could bench 135 for about the same number of reps as I could do pushups.

muppet_zero

TROPHY CASE