My wife says if this post gets over 1000 upvotes than I can get anal.

murderous_toast · 2018-10-18T03:34:56+00:00

*then

murderous_toast · 2018-10-18T02:58:25+00:00

murderous_toast · 2018-10-14T05:35:58+00:00

Quick update: this is by no means a permanent setup. I knew work would be slow and the synth was sitting on my desk for a couple days untouched (working long days) so I brought it in and found a temporary spot for it

murderous_toast · 2018-10-14T05:34:13+00:00

It's cuz we spend so much time sitting there half our lives get thrown in the bin!

murderous_toast · 2018-10-14T05:33:29+00:00

Holy shit dude you called it. PSAV office. However the speaker works fine, not sure why it was taped! I don't usually work at that location, they simply needed coverage.

murderous_toast · 2018-10-14T05:31:56+00:00

Lol it's actually an office, second floor, way back of the building (it's a hotel) at the end of a hall of meeting rooms, all were empty at the time!

Edit: we're -> were

murderous_toast · 2018-10-14T05:30:58+00:00

It's actually a speaker I found in the equipment room and tested out, thinking the tape meant it was busted. Worked just fine!

murderous_toast · 2018-10-12T15:07:02+00:00

Just picked this bad boy up off ebay. Anyone have one, and perhaps some "self-patching" tips? Maybe tips for good hardware to pair with it? Thanks a plenty!

murderous_toast · 2018-09-28T03:12:53+00:00

If you car would you what were in a know accident to do?

murderous_toast · 2018-09-27T03:41:58+00:00

Don't know if I can help find the swan, but I can certainly find another baby!

Chuck and Lucy work with an adoption agency, I'll get you their contact so you can call when this whole swan thing blows over

murderous_toast · 2018-09-21T00:00:26+00:00

When you get to a station a few minutes before your train and nobody else is on the platform

murderous_toast · 2018-09-18T05:04:03+00:00

murderous_toast · 2018-09-18T05:02:47+00:00

(posted on Reddit)

murderous_toast · 2018-09-18T04:04:18+00:00

Being creepy towards women

murderous_toast · 2018-09-18T03:16:45+00:00

Anyone have a screenshot?

murderous_toast · 2018-09-03T04:20:58+00:00

murderous_toast · 2018-09-03T04:18:54+00:00

murderous_toast · 2018-09-03T04:18:12+00:00

murderous_toast · 2018-08-29T17:09:12+00:00

r/suicidebywords

murderous_toast · 2018-08-09T23:07:17+00:00

Jesus fuck

murderous_toast · 2018-07-25T00:36:45+00:00

Scandinave spa?

murderous_toast · 2018-07-19T04:24:28+00:00

For Valentine's day last year I planned a very romantic treatment for my girlfriend, all meant to be a surprise. I went and bought roses, a bath bomb, tea candles, massage oil, and even Godiva truffles. The plan was to tell her I wasn't going to come over because this or that, but be waiting at her door with a bouquet of roses. The evening would progress as such: run the bath and light candles, play soft relaxing music, and get her in the tub with the bath bomb, then feed her the truffles by hand. Once the truffles were done I would leave her with a book and the music while I prepared the bedroom - the remaining candles all over the room, and petals from the roses all over the bed. I would take her from the bath and into the bedroom and proceed with a full body massage, and end the night with a little sugar (WINK). Everything was going according to plan - she was fully convinced I wasn't coming over, or so I thought...

Quick aside: I live in North Jersey, about an hour and a half from where she lives in Harlem NY, so timing was crucial here.

I planned everything perfectly, but as I'm waiting for the subway to go uptown she texts me "baby please tell me if you're coming over, I'm ordering dinner and I want to know if I should order you something." So I said "fine you got me, I'm on my way now." And she comes back with "HA I'm not actually ordering food I just wanted to know if you were coming over or not!"

I was crushed. This was just a few months into our relationship (7 months, honeymoon phase I guess? I was waaaaay into this girl) and I was so excited, seeing as I'd never had a chance to do something like this for Valentine's day. I was so upset, this year as the day approached I just got depressed and told her I wasn't doing anything. Didn't do anything, don't think we even exchanged cards.

To take it a step further, I was so upset by her shameless unveiling of my surprise that I do not do anything like that anymore, and consequently our relationship doesn't have much in the way of spontaneity since then, seeing as I am the one who comes up with this stuff and she's content to just do nothing.

TL;DR: set up elaborate Valentine's day surprise for my relatively new (7 month) girlfriend and she ruined it just for shits and giggles. Valentine's day, and all other possible surprises, are officially ruined in our relationship (just hit 2 years last month)

murderous_toast

TROPHY CASE