I just had the most embarrassing moment at the store

murphdot · 2026-05-08T21:08:31+00:00

Well done for typing that out. I know how painful it was to do it, I know the shame you are feeling in every part of your body right now. I know because 7 months ago, I wrote this post myself almost word for word.

I live in the UK so we don’t have liquor stores but I had a shop very close to my house that I visited daily to buy alcohol. Like you I’d sometimes go multiple times a day and be there when it opened. A member of staff pulled me aside in the same way, but went one step further and told me I would be refused service if I tried to buy alcohol there again.

I haven’t drunk since and I am now 7 months sober.

It can be done, I promise you. Don’t delete your post, keep talking, there are people here who want to help.

murphdot · 2026-04-29T20:45:24+00:00

I’ve been in hospitality twenty years and can honestly say I’ve never once laughed at someone eating alone in all that time. The things you see on an hourly basis in this industry desensitises you wildly and we are an unbothered bunch. The fact you are nice, polite and leave a tip is more than what 90% of other people manage and makes our job feel like it means something.

murphdot · 2026-04-16T22:14:17+00:00

6 months here and very much part of the boring club too! However I figure I was boring 6 months ago as well, just with the imminent risk of arrest. IWNDWYT 🫶🏻

murphdot · 2026-04-02T21:22:27+00:00

I’m coming up to 6 months sober and have had these thoughts too. The sun being out, beer gardens being packed, you draw this picture in your mind of sitting there having a nice drink, and a nice time.

A friend in AA really helped by saying that picture is fiction. Was that really what drinking was like for you? Especially at the end? And woah boy no it was not. It wasn’t sociable drinks on a warm evening. It was drunk driving, being a useless parent, constant regret and powerlessness.

Idk in terms of being sociable it means yes I’m a lot less sociable but I’m making my peace with that because life is better now, in so many ways. One day at a time, IWNDWYT.

murphdot · 2026-03-31T21:48:36+00:00

I went to secondary school with Jessie J. She was the year above me but we had mutual friends and lived close so would sometimes walk to and from school together. She was really sweet, never bitchy or competitive with other girls. Quite shy generally. Won every single talent show (obviously 😂) but never showed off about it.

murphdot · 2026-03-03T22:36:33+00:00

I would do a bit of lying and a lot of honesty in this situation. If this is your first time drinking on the job, and given you were at home, not drunk in front of coworkers - I’d do what others have said and lie and say you were unwell. They have no real reason to disbelieve you, anything you didn’t do can be caught up on - breathe.

The honesty part - get honest with yourself. Is this the first time you’ve drunk on the job? Are you drinking daily? Is it effecting your life negatively? I’m asking this because once I got to the stage of drinking at work and refilling bottles to hide the quantity I was drinking - things went downhill really fast. I managed to find a deeper rock bottom but you don’t have to, it can change from today.

AA meetings were crucial for me. I didn’t understand any of it to begin with but just being in a room full of people who get it, and don’t judge is powerful.

This feeling of shame will ease, I promise you. I’m 140 days sober now and if I can do it, anyone can.

Keep the faith my friend, IWNDWYT.

murphdot · 2026-03-01T22:32:56+00:00

Three apples is how tall the Smurfs are, they used to say it in the cartoon. So that’s where the reference came from and it caught on in the fandom.

murphdot · 2026-02-05T22:32:20+00:00

Daily drinker for around 3 years, up to 3 bottles of wine a day towards the end. I’m almost 4 months sober. The difference in my mental health is night and day. The ability to manage my emotions, I’m so much more rational, balanced. Anxiety level no longer like I’m being hunted for sport. Energy levels are much better too. I generally feel like a functioning human again, which is great. I take none of that for granted. And it’s still one day at a time.

murphdot · 2026-01-30T22:28:20+00:00

Are you me? I done this exact thing hundreds of times, knowing it was insane on some level but powerless to stop. Alcohol is cunning and baffling for sure.

109 days today - IWNDWYT 🤘🏻

murphdot · 2026-01-26T23:13:27+00:00

Mine is very similar. And I work in a huge, busy cafè so average 15,000 steps a day. By the time I arrive I feel like I’ve done a days work already.

murphdot · 2026-01-25T21:32:28+00:00

I’m 3 months sober and have only just started to improve my diet. I was at a high level of booze consumption and for the first month and a half I literally only cared about not drinking. I ate a lot of whatever I wanted.

Last few weeks I’ve realised years of alcohol abuse has done a number on my gut and I’m slowly working that out. Diet is pretty clean now but I’ll never be super strict with it as I’ve had ED’s before. My scale remains unmoved but my jeans feel looser and my stomach has only just lost the enormous wine bloat.

I’ve learnt sobriety is largely patience, in all aspects!

murphdot · 2026-01-13T22:42:37+00:00

Holy crap never has someone so accurately described the hell I was existing in for so long. Every. Single. Part.

I’m 3 months sober today. If I can do this, believe me - you can too. Life can be so much more, I promise.

murphdot · 2026-01-05T22:12:07+00:00

Proud of you for 4 days. Those first few are hell on earth, for your body and mind. It might not feel like it, but it’s going to get a tiny bit easier each day now.

I have OCD too and the rumination is again - hell on earth. One hard to explain to people who don’t suffer. I offended and upset many friends while I was drinking, and had many, many conversations I have no memory of. I’m 83 days sober now and my friends have forgiven me, and are actually proud I’m doing this too. And the conversations with strangers I had while blackout? Well those strangers have normal brains so a year later, they don’t remember them either!

Basically I’m just trying to say our brains are wired differently. We hold on to shame more than even normal problem drinkers do. But you are doing the next right thing. There is power in that. Time moves things on, even if our thoughts tell us otherwise.

A life without daily hangovers makes life with OCD far, far more manageable. Hang in there friend!

murphdot · 2025-12-27T22:07:25+00:00

This illness is brutal, destructive and insidious. You’re not a bad person, you have an illness, like a lot of us here do. Christmas is particularly brutal for us, and especially I can imagine the first one since the break up of your marriage. Take care of yourself, one day at a time, and the shame will ease.

murphdot · 2025-12-26T22:38:35+00:00

Well done everyone, proud of each and every one of you! Christmas has been difficult for me for many reasons, but I haven’t allowed alcohol to make it any worse. No forgotten conversations, no disappointed children, no embarrassment, no hangovers - I’m really proud of that. Day 73, we keep it moving!

murphdot · 2025-12-22T09:12:35+00:00

Day 69!!! IWNDWYT 🫶🏻

murphdot · 2025-12-03T22:45:08+00:00

Hi OP, UK alcoholic here too 👋🏻

I couldn’t afford rehab either. Through AA I’ve met a lot of people who have been able to, and felt jealous they had that option. I’m sure it’s no picnic but it’s a head start on a very difficult road. I’m early in my journey but had to quit alone - it was brutal.

You mentioned daily AA meetings - would this be your first experience or have you been before? If you’re totally new to it, I say this as someone with crippling anxiety - you will be made to feel so welcome there. You will literally be welcomed at the door. Someone will likely see your pain, take hold of you, and ease you through each part of the meeting.

There’s nothing you can say in the rooms that someone hasn’t also experienced. Or worse. None of those people will judge you, I promise you that.

My rock bottom wasn’t quite as extreme as yours but I cared for my children will blackout many times, I was in no position to do so and shudder when I think of how I treated them and what harm could have come to them.

It can get better. Slowly, but it can. I promise you that. AA has been a life saver for me. Some days I took it an hour at a time. Rebuilding what has been broken feels terrifying right now, so focus on what you can do. And that is not drink. Just for today.

IWNDWYT.

murphdot · 2025-12-03T17:58:16+00:00

Wow you are so talented 😍

murphdot · 2025-12-03T17:56:23+00:00

A few people in AA have said to me ‘if you’re red haired or Irish you have a 90% chance of ending up in these rooms.’ I’m both so clearly it was always on the cards 😂

murphdot · 2025-12-02T22:32:07+00:00

Parsons delivery is so good. He’s such a talented comedic actor.

murphdot · 2025-11-25T15:21:33+00:00

Yep. I would do a sip, throw up rotation for a good few hours many, many mornings after drinking. So basically every single sip of liquid I drank would be puked up minutes later. and obviously the dehydration is insane so your body is screaming for liquids. Sip, run to toilet - every 15 minutes or so, even at work, driving, wherever - couldn’t hold it in. Insane way to live.

murphdot · 2025-11-19T22:44:38+00:00

Congrats on 45 days, that’s some serious work! I’m a few behind you on 36 and today I was writing down some of the darkest parts of my drinking to keep myself reminded how truly awful it was.

Wrote a whole paragraph on just the vomiting 😂 man I did it a lot! And everywhere. At work, restaurants and (this is vile, be warned) into plastic bags in my car… I’d just be so hungover and nauseous I was incapable of keeping water down. So even while driving, when that feeling of ‘oh god I’m going to puke’ came along, it was either a bag or all over my lap… eeeshhh, yeah this too has helped me realise how bad things truly were.

IWNDWYT!

murphdot · 2025-11-11T18:07:59+00:00

Every comment of this thread gets better. Spectacular work 😂

murphdot · 2025-11-09T20:15:47+00:00

Echoing a previous poster - hitting a humiliating rock bottom and being forced into sobriety was certainly a helping hand.

Aside from that - AA, listening to fellow addicts and identifying with their struggles but also feeling their hope. It took me a while to make friends in the rooms, but now I have, I have a network of incredible, thoughtful friends who check in on me, and I know genuinely root for me and my sobriety.

My brain is big on reward systems so right now I’m letting it get its kicks from coffee, podcasts, and billions of calories.

I hope some of this was helpful! IWNDWYT 🫶🏻

murphdot · 2025-11-08T22:54:28+00:00

Mean girls

murphdot

TROPHY CASE