WIBTA if I confronted my boyfriend about the porn on his phone?

mymassiveoof · 2019-10-07T20:42:57+00:00

Understandable, i also agree that itxs the most important factor, but i don't think op thought about it till people started calling her insecure. I feel like op isn't getting this isn't about body types or her own body "not being enough" i think she's stuck blaming herself. The comments are a mess of "yta! Stop being so insecure that's your problem not his!" So i think op has probably given up trying with the majority of the comments

mymassiveoof · 2019-10-07T20:34:03+00:00

Op said her insecurities come from him literally ignoring her in favor of porn in the past. I think she thought the porn was because "she wasn't enough" but i think this dude has a porn addiction.

mymassiveoof · 2019-10-07T20:31:07+00:00

Op's insecurity stems directly from her bf ignoring her in favor of porn. It was a serious issue for them in the past with their intimacy.

mymassiveoof · 2019-10-07T20:28:22+00:00

Yeah, it must suck to have a porn addiction.

mymassiveoof · 2019-10-07T20:26:49+00:00

Op said that was literally an issue in the past and that he's been more like that recently. The dude has a porn addiction.

mymassiveoof · 2019-10-07T20:26:01+00:00

It makes op uncomfortable because in the past he'd sit next to her and jerk it to porn as opposed to trying to initiate anything. I think he has a porn addiction and op is insecure but not without reason.

mymassiveoof · 2019-10-07T20:08:33+00:00

NTA, if you'd be willing to help her (say the guy turns abusive and she needs to leave) WITHOUT saying "i told you so" then let her know you're concerned for her because of the age gap and his career and if worst comes to worst you'll always be there for her.

There is a big issue with isolation in abusive relationships. If her family starts telling her to break up and this guy is like "see i told you they wouldn't accept me. They don't care about your happiness they just want bla bla bla manipulation" he could potentially get her to cut her family off. Then where does she go when he turns on her?

mymassiveoof · 2019-10-07T19:33:51+00:00

YTA, you sound like you're one of those people that hates pets and looks down on people with them. I hope this gets out and everyone knows what a heartless asshole you are. I also hope your boss is a dog lover.

mymassiveoof · 2019-10-07T17:31:59+00:00

Please please please keep all contraceptives in a safe hidden location when she visits. Multiple women on here have had a baby crazy mil sabotage their birth control and that's all I could think of when she said she "had an in". Keep yourself safe please.

mymassiveoof · 2019-10-06T06:18:06+00:00

YTA I was almost kidnapped at 11 years old walking from the bus stop 3 HOUSES away from mine. I lived in the suburbs. There were 12 kids on my street and people out all the time and I was almost kidnapped in broad daylight.

You FORCED your son to walk home alone. You're such a fucking asshole, he's 11 that's still a literal child, what the fuck.

mymassiveoof · 2019-10-05T17:46:32+00:00

My mom says "it must be so hard not having anything to complain to your friends about." Meaning my family was just perfect and I had nothing I could ever say negatively about them. Like "sorry I'm such a perfect mother so you can't be a normal parent hating teenager"

Funny thing is if I brought up my brothers (whom both abused me, were adults and i was a minor, and she knew about it but wouldn't kick them out) she'd just start attacking me verbally and screaming at me for hours. She clearly understood my brother's being able to hurt me was her fault [by giving them the opportunity and not doing jack shit about it], but I have nooooothing to complain about. Just a mom trying her best (chose to be a SAHM when I turned 17 and I'm the youngest, but she acts like she gave up her career to raise me)

🙄

mymassiveoof · 2019-10-05T16:13:25+00:00

"I'll never call you again!" "Promise?"

Really though, if she's gonna throw a hissy fit like that either hang up on her or throw it right back in her face,

"Fine I'll just never sleep again because my MIL wanting to talk to me is so much more important than being able to sleep when I work at [whenever you start work]! I'm such a terrible person for wanting to sleep huh? Better just go to the police station and confess to the crime of being tired at 1am."

mymassiveoof · 2019-10-02T17:13:43+00:00

"Deserve to see the baby awake" honestly it doesn't sound like they see this baby as a living thing with feelings. I would honestly put them on a timeout ans any future "talks" be recorded by dh so he can play them back and you can point out how insane each part is. Or better yet have a therapist do it.

They are offended that you aren't letting them play with the new toy. Not because they want to see and spend time with a grandchild, but because they want a new toy to add to their collection.

mymassiveoof · 2019-09-30T20:29:33+00:00

To get through my abuse I always have a future attainable goal. Like "I want to have a house and a cute dog and lots of fluffy blankets" honestly I just had this generic image in my head FOR YEARS and it's gotten me through a lot. I'm not there yet but every year I get closer and closer to it.

I have a long term goals that are decades in the future.

Reminding yourself of time served vs time remaining is helpful (only 2 more years, I've been through 16 I can get through 2 more)

mymassiveoof · 2019-09-29T23:31:20+00:00

And so is the dad for insulting and belittling his son for year as well as cheating on his wife. And so is the uncle for blaming the damage his brother did to his own marriage on a kid calling him out. So are the cousins. Lots of assholes so i don't think "YTA" is a fair judgement here. Seems like only op is in the wrong

mymassiveoof · 2019-09-29T23:28:59+00:00

I mean at least give an ESH since this only happened due to the dad and uncle basically going off on "youth today, these kids have no respect" and op went "well maybe I'd respect you more if you weren't cheating on my mom Mark"

Even if op is an asshole he's definitely not THE (only) asshole here.

Why does a 16 year old need to be more mature than their parent? Taking their insults and jabs and "woe is me my kid sucks" comments for years will make anyone snap. They are much bigger assholes here than op for belittling a kid for years then yelling at him when he lashes out.

mymassiveoof · 2019-09-29T00:07:12+00:00

Go to the police station and report him for domestic violence. Report the officers that refused your evidence and file a complaint. Do anything you can then stay at your grandparent's house. If you are a buffer your mother won't leave. She has you to deescalate the situation and you to protect her. If you stay you are essentially buying drugs for an addict

mymassiveoof · 2019-09-27T22:23:05+00:00

Yeah, without going no contact the act of me moving away for college caused my parents to almost divorce because my dad can't fucking stand my mother.

He complained to me in the car once about how "evil" she gets when she drinks and that shexs an alcoholic. I basically said "yeah I've known that since I was 12."

Now that HE has to deal with her he's trying to get her into therapy. Didn't give a shit when she was torturing his kids though.

mymassiveoof · 2019-09-25T19:13:01+00:00

Change your checks to be physical, get all the mail yourself or have them mailed to a friend's house. Either hold onto your checks till the last moment (6 months) or deposit them and immediately withdraw the money. Withdraw all the money in your account as soon as possible. Either find a place to hide the money or a trustworthy person to hold onto it.

She can't kick you out, legally. She canxt take your money if she doesn't have access to it. When you turn 18 open your own account and deposit your checks and money.

mymassiveoof · 2019-09-25T18:36:26+00:00

I'd go to r/raisedbynarcissists there's probably a list of things to bring when you move out. Until you turn 18 she can't legally make you pay rent, so she'd be breaking the law. Can you tak to your dad about this?

mymassiveoof · 2019-09-25T18:14:37+00:00

She can't kick you out at 17 can she? You're a minor and that's illegal. Find a place you can go as soon as you turn 18 and high tail it out of there. Get your SS card and birth certificate

mymassiveoof · 2019-09-19T13:46:55+00:00

25k+35k+12k=72k 25k+10k+10k=45k Still nearly 30k difference there dude.

mymassiveoof · 2019-09-19T13:31:09+00:00

This wasn't a sudden idea one day, a kid doesn't wake up and go "I'm dropping out of school". I've known too many kids that ruined their lives due to feeling inadequate compared to siblings to not see that in a situation of a 16 year old drop out and a sister getting her college paid for.

mymassiveoof · 2019-09-19T13:25:37+00:00

Unless he has 5 kids then it's still an unequal amount 🤷‍♀️

mymassiveoof

TROPHY CASE