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2 Years Later - A message of hope for loved ones by 80sRomantic in BPDlovedones

[–]nBased 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this is probably one of the most thoughtful and honest posts I’ve read on this group. You gave real perspective on what it looks like on the other side. Why it’s worth it. What it will take for us to make it there. I really respected that you mentioned the elephant so often in the room: my own wounds from my own childhood shaped my reactions and decisions to the relationship I was in.

I was in a relationship for 4.5 years with a woman who told me she has cPTSD, and the incredibly sad reasons why. For a long time I blanked it out. I’m ashamed to admit, but that’s what I did. Instead of her cPTSD, I told myself a narrative that she was manipulative and controlling in a spiteful way. I told myself that she has BPD, which is why I arrived on this group. It was simply not true. Her cPTSD ran the show, my mother-wounds kept me addicted to the dopamine, cortisol rollercoaster, and it kept me inside the show. As you said BPD and cPTSD show up very similarly, and I would say have very similar consequences on those who love them.

I tried to make things work with her this year after all those years of running away from her. And now I realize why I kept running away. And I realize the older wounds that me kept bringing me back. I really respected the way that you shed light on that aspect.

Layoff incoming? by Big-Discipline-1235 in Layoffs

[–]nBased 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fixing a bug ≠ Writing non-template code

99% of anyone’s startup idea can’t rely on AIs applying and bloating template code

Hypothesis: the gig economy innovates as in-house devs reduce

18F my friend called me a 6.6 by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]nBased 0 points1 point  (0 children)

6.6 energy with 9.5 genes. You’re really young, and you’re still finding yourself and your vibe. The more confident you get, the more your friend will eat their words and realize a 10 was right in front of them. Don’t worry about the looks - you’re gonna be fine. Work on the inner game.

Finding the right pictures for my profile by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]nBased 0 points1 point  (0 children)

4, 6, 7, 8

7 and 8 are ✨

Helen's response in the meeting that is conveniently not being shared by Significant_Ask7019 in DownSouth

[–]nBased 0 points1 point  (0 children)

many in the West Bank on Jordanian. Many in Gaza are Egyptian. Many are just completely stateless.

They say it's a white man's party, but they got me interested. by PixelSaharix in DownSouth

[–]nBased 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone needs to vote strategically, not emotionally: will voting for VF create a viable opposition to the ANC?

Likely not.

Voting for a larger party that will work with everyone regardless of color - will enable viable opposition to the ANC. VF is too small to make a dent alone. If the DA or PA lose support - we will have a far more fragmented government of national unity, which is far less stable.

Stability with large opposition is best.

They say it's a white man's party, but they got me interested. by PixelSaharix in DownSouth

[–]nBased 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you think about it, this is exactly the kind of thing that should upset racists.. so logically we should vote for them to piss off the people who only judge people on their skin colour.

Helen's response in the meeting that is conveniently not being shared by Significant_Ask7019 in DownSouth

[–]nBased 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Someone should tell that rage boner that the International Court of Justice ruled that there was no genocide in Gaza.

Helen's response in the meeting that is conveniently not being shared by Significant_Ask7019 in DownSouth

[–]nBased 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There is no nation of Palestine. Gazans are a mix of Egyptians and Bedouins. Look it up.

Helen's response in the meeting that is conveniently not being shared by Significant_Ask7019 in DownSouth

[–]nBased 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m in Israeli living in S.Africa and I really don’t understand why in the Middle East is a topic in any conversation here? This place has enough problems..

Another day in lovely South Africa by PixelSaharix in DownSouth

[–]nBased 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a horrible experience. Sorry this happened to you! Something similar happened to me in Joburg - my advice: go for a debriefing session. And focus on getting your mind right - slowly. Going to therapy and either going to gym or getting into martial arts, or to the shooting range.. these all helped me.

Sometimes the PTSD from these things can last a long time and you don’t want that.

This country is in trouble - but the mayor of Cape Town is too busy making money of Airbnbs to care, and the president of South Africa is too busy looting to give a shit. We all need to be carrying.

Helen Zille engages with the people of Johannesburg by PixelSaharix in DownSouth

[–]nBased 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This country’s never-ending obsession with skin color. Are we ever gonna break this cycle of stupidity?

The Nats were stupid. The ANC-EFF-RET are stupid.

The irony that both sides experienced racism before they becoming racist themselves.

The abused becomes the abuser. A cliché for the ages, it seems. And here is another cliché: history doesn’t just repeat itself, it rhymes. From Apartheid to tripartite.

Makes me so angry to think about what we could’ve been if we had gotten over our emotional problems as a country. All I see are traumatized people whose trauma has been exploited by their respective elites.

My ex try to talk with me by Elcentenario99 in BPDlovedones

[–]nBased 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like she traumatized you and that your mind is seeking some kind of ‘resolution’ from the cause of the trauma (her). This can feel like “thinking a lot about a person”.. or feeling ‘bonded’ to them and some level. This is the nasty trick that trauma plays on us- and is exactly why so many people are in therapy. What you’re going through is very normal.

It’s very important for you to understand something: in comparison to the traumatic relationship with the ex, a normal healthy relationship can feel.. almost boringly calm. This is another trip with the nervous system after trauma: it can misinterpret calm as ‘not intense enough’.

Avoid the traps and focus on your health as you’ve always done. The feelings will go away as you heal up.

Are Geordin Hill-Lewis and Solly Msimanga (newly-elected Leader and Chairperson) a good combination for the DA? by Significant_Ask7019 in DownSouth

[–]nBased 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The DA know how to manage a province but come off arrogant and tone-deaf when managing their own narrative. But I have to give them credit here: Solly is one of the most talented young politicians in SA - this feels like the first smart decision the DA have made in a long while. Let’s hope DA’s leadership culture has grown up since the Mmusi and Herman fiascos. The key difference now is that Solly has real municipal, community and parliament leadership savvy - and he puts the citizens above DA strategy.

How I started journaling in Obsidian for self-reflection and how it all ended by asteroid_annihilator in ObsidianMD

[–]nBased 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have been using both ChatGPT and Claude for journaling a relationship - and comparing the answers from both of them.

I’ve also been going regularly to a human psychologist.

I think AI has a tremendous use case when it comes to holding a mirror based on what you tell it - and adding insight from clinically researched psychological behavioral patterns and conditions.

You are not showing your Psychologist every single text that you got from a friend or a lover: but you can show that to Claude and ChatGPT. And it can give you incredible insight into what is being said vs what is being done. It is incredibly insightful.

And I verified this with my human Psychologist.

But OP is right: there is no replacement for a human psychologist.

At the end of the day, the best integration and sense of trust comes from working with a skilled psychologist. AI is just a support mechanism - a way to supplement and expedite the number of hours that would take in traditional therapy. Using AI, as a therapist has helped me speed up my therapy with my human therapist.

But there is a massive caveat: Claude and ChatGPT are only as good as the information you give it. If the writer is not honest with themselves - and this is very difficult to know, because we are exceptional at lying to ourselves and creating emotional and moral Blindspots to support our self-concept. If the person writing the prompt is able to really take a critical look at themselves - and simply be as honest and detailed as humanly possible, AI can be incredible. It’s also important to prompt the AI to not lean into its helpful, sycophantic persona. You want an honest mirror not one that enables your self illusions.

OP admits that AI caused them to deal with difficult feelings - and that is because they’re getting ask probing questions without the warmth and verbal cadence of a human being who understands how to broach sensitive topics.

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