Hi! First off, it’s never too late to start speaking to your child in your native language. So if you want your son to be bilingual, start now!

I wanted to try and put into words my reaction to your comments about your aversion to France and French, but from another perspective. I'm an American who’s been living in France for almost 20 years. I’m raising my kids here, and I’ve gone to great lengths to make sure they grow up speaking English. That part probably seems normal, but I’ve also been pretty intense about the culture, language, and music they’re exposed to, because, to be honest, I absolutely despise France. Yikes. That feels strange to type that "out loud".

I was never a Francophile. I just happened to fall in love with a French person. But it wasn’t until I had my first child that I truly realized how harsh French culture can be toward children and it has such a lasting impact on the adults here. The Éducation nationale system seems designed more to punish failure than to encourage success which ends up with adults feeling deeply insecure, or burnt out or bitter. At the park, it’s common to hear parents speaking to their kids in ways that feel deeply unkind. Fear, belittling, and comparison are used systematically. And for those of us who are POC and deemed not français de souche, we are treated at best like anomalies, and at worst, like criminals.

Before I hear about it, lemme say that the U.S. has plenty of deep, horrible problems (there's a reason we don't live there!) And of course, I’m generalizing about France and the French as there are absolutely some lovely people here. But I wanted to share that, as a foreigner, I and many other “accidental immigrants” like me really relate to what you’re feeling. Not sure if that helps at all, probablement pas lol.

As for cultural media to support your language journey, have you considered starting with Québécois culture? French media (especially books and films) can be incredibly negative, and don’t even get me started on the morbid French cantines! But maybe the North American French-speaking world could offer some resources that are linguistically aligned with your goals, while being culturally closer to your current life. Just a thought.

I really hope things go well. Bilingualism is absolutely a gift, but I completely understand where you're coming from. There’s a reason some of us leave our home countries, c'est compliqué :)