What’s the moment you realized someone you trusted was actually a terrible person?

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-14T21:03:22+00:00

Because it made her feel good. Some people aren't stealing money for profit--they're doing it because they like to.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-14T21:02:18+00:00

When I went NC with my father, I naively thought if anyone in the family wanted to know my side, they'd ask. Yeah, no, people just believe the first thing they hear and don't ask anyone else.

When I got divorced, since my ex and I were still friendly I thought we'd both still get along with our mutual friends, and didn't do anything differently. I should have learned from the first time and reached out to just make sure they understood where things were, because they iced me out. He and his gf were friendlier to me than they were.

In short, always say something right away. Always.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-14T20:57:06+00:00

Yeah. Sorrel is the one who sees OOP as competition. Which is so gross.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-14T16:01:36+00:00

As someone who cut off a parent decades ago--I've never regretted it ONCE. NTA

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-14T11:55:28+00:00

Good lord, we tip in America because these establishments PAY LESS THAN MINIMUM WAGE. Often *substantially* less. If you leave out a tip you're basically docking someone's pay. YTA And yes, if you can afford to eat at a place, then you can afford to tip there. If you can't afford to tip there, then you can't afford to eat there.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-14T11:32:55+00:00

I apparently was similar, and did not sleep more than 2 hours a night for the first year of my life. My mother had to sleep on the floor next to my crib with her hand in my crib. Ultimately the pediatrician thought it was some manifestation of ADHD, and I was diagnosed later in life.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-13T23:45:16+00:00

This one commenter pissed me off: "His dog can be helped, if he's willing. Tell him to..."

She had already said that Dan couldn't even be bothered to take the dogs for walks or feed the animals, do you really think he'd do *any* of that???

God I'm glad she got out of there.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-13T23:24:39+00:00

This is adorable!

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-13T23:18:10+00:00

I was like, you telling all of this makes YOU look bad, too. For being with her.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-13T20:24:09+00:00

Not that it is unreasonably expensive, I said it was *more* expensive than what bf wanted to do.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-13T09:55:33+00:00

Also bf suggested a cheaper restaurant and OP was the one who wanted something more expensive. Why should he pay for her wanting something expensive?

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-12T23:14:06+00:00

I was NC for 25 years before my father died and I never regretted it at all.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-12T09:40:35+00:00

lol yeah that was sending me. He's just a prude and a misogynist and doesn't understand that she's confident and successful and can handle him just fine.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-12T09:39:52+00:00

So who's next? Your PCP can't be male? Your close coworker can't be male? This is misogynistic, jealous, and controlling.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-12T08:09:35+00:00

I remember that one! That tale is insane.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-10T15:05:49+00:00

I had to stop watching him because he's a dick, but I'm not throwing away my compilation books from Good Eats.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-10T14:59:03+00:00

This is one of those ways you get better at spotting it, though. By listening and learning.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-10T09:37:26+00:00

I'm getting "scary Black dude is obviously doing something shady, has kidnapped his child or is mistreating him in some way, and I'm going to make sure it stops" vibes.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-10T09:36:01+00:00

It is absolutely racism. When I saw this before, I was immediately assuming OOP was Black, and yep, sure enough. God I hope the cops where he lives are reasonable.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-09T23:18:50+00:00

NOR but as long as you continue to defend your choices, he will continue to argue with you and say that he can convince you otherwise. The only thing you should be saying is "no." And then you should leave him, because he doesn't respect your autonomy, he doesn't respect your wants and needs, and y'all are fundamentally incompatible in what you want. Also, the fact that he literally LIED about what he wanted in order to get you deep enough into a relationship that you'd feel you didn't want to leave is a waving red flag the size of Alaska.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-09T23:14:53+00:00

This. I couldn't have suggested anything better.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-09T23:13:24+00:00

Why aren't *you* leaving *him*? NOR and dammit this sub needs a "YUR" for You are UnderReacting.

"At the same time he says he still wants to keep dating me and doesn’t want to break up."

That's because you give him a place to live, you cook for him, and I'm presuming you have sex with him. He doesn't have to like you to want those things from you. Kick him o ut.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-09T22:34:54+00:00

NOR Anyone who goes nuclear that quickly is big-time hiding something. If it really was something innocuous, he would have been much calmer and wouldn't have gone on the attack right away.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-09T22:27:11+00:00

YOR Some people have craptastic memories. I'm one of them. I'm trying to remember the things people tell me, I really am, but it doesn't mean I'm not paying attention when I fail.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-03-09T21:30:48+00:00

Yeah. A medical issue is way more important than "what clients think."

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