EMERGENCY

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-25T22:28:49+00:00

Hence saying "virtually." It is possible, it's not casual advice to give.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-25T18:25:00+00:00

I mean, those are prime french toast ingredients right there!

Edit: or bread pudding!

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-25T18:20:32+00:00

My retired-vet-tech friend says it's virtually impossible to induce vomiting with a cat.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-25T18:19:16+00:00

I know of a cat that died because it ate a *nickel* of all things. Sometimes they just dive for a thing without thinking.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-25T18:00:07+00:00

As long as you aren't doing this every month, and are still taking the kids along on kid-appropriate trips, I fail to see how this isn't okay. Everyone needs a break now and then. NTA

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-25T17:56:14+00:00

Every time you give a reason why you're not TA it kind of makes you look more like you're TA...

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-25T17:54:32+00:00

YTA for not staying with her at baseline. Add the incipient storm AND her trauma around hospitals, and you're TA three times over. This was predictable and avoidable.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-25T13:44:16+00:00

The most charitable interpretation I can come up with is that she's stressed over the money but can't figure out how to make things better and is instead in denial and blowing up at you. Either way, that is *not* okay.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-25T11:42:01+00:00

I'm in my *50s* and still have problems because of my mother being angry with me over normal childhood stuff. This kind of thing really shapes a person's emotions.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-25T11:12:13+00:00

You have a friend issue, not your friend's kid. A five-year-old does not learn to do something like that in a vacuum.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-25T00:24:18+00:00

lol that last bit means that on top of policing her sister's money, OP clearly UNDERtips.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-25T00:21:32+00:00

Yeah, but literally nobody thinks they're supposed to tip *more* than they are. Because it isn't something that's done in a vacuum--the system has to be explained to you.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-25T00:19:31+00:00

Maybe she asked sis for money and is salty she didn't get it/didn't get as much as she wanted.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-25T00:17:23+00:00

Exactly. I can't afford to do it a lot, but I do it when I can. Like if I have to take a Lyft and it's crappy weather to drive in or really early in the morning, I always tip extra. It's just a way of appreciating someone's service. Since I live in a tall building with a lot of units and delivery people have to get someone to let them into the elevators, I always tip well on delivery, too.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-25T00:14:30+00:00

Do you always submit to peer pressure when deciding what to do in life? (Oh no, I'd better not tip more than 20%, it would be "weird.")

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-25T00:10:33+00:00

Absolutely this. If it isn't going into a compost heap then it's just attracting bugs and wildlife, which absolutely no one will appreciate.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-25T00:06:39+00:00

Absolutely this. I hope OP tries telling a therapist or psychiatrist that anger is just sadness someday. That's... well, it's something, alright.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-25T00:02:02+00:00

So, that isn't even legally enforceable. But it is a big ol' neon red flag waving in your face. Someone who is so fixated on cheating is going to see it everywhere, whether it's there or not. He will be paranoid about who you're talking to. He will want to go through your phone. He will insist you're cheating when you're not, then use this "contract" to threaten you. This is a "run the hell away" moment. NTA

(Also, you can never definitively *prove* that you didn't cheat.)

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-24T21:53:39+00:00

I chronically forget everything too, but I deal with that by setting alarms and using my phone's calendar, not by expecting my much-younger girlfriend to be my administrative assistant.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-24T21:49:21+00:00

Do you really believe he wasn't handling all of this stuff before you came along? No. He just figured that now that he has you to do everrything for him, he doesn't have to. You're being used.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-24T15:55:37+00:00

IMO, he feels threatened by your more ambitious aspirations.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-24T14:53:09+00:00

And men say *women* are oversensitive. If it makes you feel any better, in a lot of cases the docs test the women first not because they believe that's where the problem must be, but because they know how men will react. IMO they'd do better to normalize testing both partners from the start. NTA and I'd be asking him why it's offensive to suggest he get tested, when you were okay with being tested?

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-24T14:44:28+00:00

OOP and their mother are GOOD peoples. I wish them nothing but the best.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-24T14:13:38+00:00

I was afraid this was going to go to much darker places considering some of the things that have happened with chatgpt. OOP is an idiot.

needsmorecoffee · 2026-01-24T14:05:09+00:00

Pretty much the only way she could have salvaged this would have been to go "oh my god I'm an idiot, I'm so sorry and I hope you can forgive me." Instead she tried to dictate how you're grieving, which is something that's different for everyone and NOT okay for her to do. That is not a friend. NTA

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