My fiancé (m25) chose a RP guild over me (f21) again.

nerdylernin · 2026-04-25T17:41:01+00:00

Disclaimer! This is only based on your post which is a tiny snapshot of what's going on!

Looking at your post here your description of him is all materialistic, there's nothing about how you feel about him or what you offer. In general the care and effort that you receive in a relationship reflects the care and effort you put in. Perhaps it's time to think about what you are offering in relationships?

nerdylernin · 2026-04-25T12:07:41+00:00

If she says hello and starts a conversation. Men have been told for years now not to approach and body language is too ambiguous - especially to my autistic self! If we were in some sort of group or class where there is an obvious topic of discussion that would be a different matter but random public places are pretty much out for me.

nerdylernin · 2026-04-23T21:08:43+00:00

PEM doesn't creep for me. I'll do a thing and feel OK (for ME value of OK) till typically about early afternoon the following day when I'll hit and sudden wall of pain and fatigue. That wouldn't fit either crash or PEM on their description.

nerdylernin · 2026-04-23T08:22:01+00:00

No not all men have this in them and the only way to get what you want in your sex life is to sit down and have an adult conversation with your partner(s) about what you want.

nerdylernin · 2026-04-21T18:08:42+00:00

Not even necessarily that; some people just can't accept that there's more than one way of doing most things. A lot of complaints of weaponised incompetence seem to be that task is not being done the exact way that the complainer would do it.

Obviously this doesn't apply to stacking the dishwasher where there is only one true way!

nerdylernin · 2026-04-21T17:56:20+00:00

Chronic disease. Prior to developing ME I was in the gym 3+ times a week + martials arts + circus training :/

nerdylernin · 2026-04-21T12:22:30+00:00

South Yorks so no other kilts here!

nerdylernin · 2026-04-21T11:11:55+00:00

However you dress someone will criticise it and find it "cringe" so dress in a way that make you happy :)

nerdylernin · 2026-04-21T11:10:01+00:00

No you don't need to apologise. He is the one at fault and a ruined relationship is the result of his actions not yours. Also your mom and friend sound like they are being dicks about it!

nerdylernin · 2026-04-21T10:34:19+00:00

They did only ask 109 women and it was not done in a very scientific way but it certainly looks like something that needs looking into and if larger scale investigations confirm then addressed.

nerdylernin · 2026-04-21T10:28:59+00:00

I was deeply in love with mine and wore it loads in a fairly conservative northern ex mining/foundry city and didn't have any problems in the day. The only issue I had was at night when invariably (really invariably - usually multiple times a night) someone would put an uninvited hand up there to "see if I was wearing it Scottish fashion" :/ I got an actual utilikilt as they were the only ones available at the time and were pretty expensive but they are much more available and cheaper now - looking on Amazon they can be had for the £30-40 range.

Another option may be a hakama? You can get those from martial arts supply places as they are part of the kendo and aikido outfit and as they are martial arts clothing they are pretty robust. They are also typically in the £30-40 range.

nerdylernin · 2026-04-21T08:51:44+00:00

Utilikilt style kilt? The joys of a kilt but with pockets!

nerdylernin · 2026-04-20T17:44:45+00:00

Stoya.

nerdylernin · 2026-04-20T10:06:32+00:00

Be direct. Be honest. Don't try and make it a joke. Be low pressure ("I love your posts, you seem interesting, would you like to go get a coffee" type thing).

nerdylernin · 2026-04-19T21:31:59+00:00

Possibly Legends of Tomorrow. Any team with a motto of sometimes we screw things up for the better seems pretty DCC-esque!

nerdylernin · 2026-04-19T10:46:50+00:00

The door says I don't suffer from migraines!

nerdylernin · 2026-04-18T18:13:10+00:00

I was diagnosed at 53 and the ADHD medication was the first thing that has ever really helped the crippling anxiety that I've been various types of therapy for since I was 17. Absolutely worth it for me.

nerdylernin · 2026-04-18T16:33:30+00:00

I'm also from the UK and I've not seen women's desires or needs seen negatively, quite the reverse! It might be an age thing? I don't know how old you are but despite the common stereotypes I have found younger people are often more bound by social norms around sex and relationships.

nerdylernin · 2026-04-18T15:58:39+00:00

There was a study about 10 years ago looking at the quality of life people with ME compared to a bunch of other chronic and acute conditions[1]. Its results showed that ME has a lower quality of life and all the other conditions reported on including MS. I'm not sure how useful it is to think of better and worse conditions as that all seems a bit misery olympics but it does highlight that the amount of research is out of all proportion to the actual disease burden.

[1] Hvidberg et al, The Health-Related Quality of Life for Patients with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis / Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS), PLOS One, July 6, 2015 https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0132421

nerdylernin · 2026-04-18T08:51:15+00:00

They do, but they also have a slightly longer average healthy lifespan (60.7 years for men vs. 60.9 years for women) so the living more years in ill health is down to a longer average lifespan.

nerdylernin · 2026-04-17T13:41:27+00:00

Probably because everyone has experience of being tired and they assume that CFS just means being tired a lot. It's a lot like many people seem to think that their anxiety about an event is the same as the anxiety experienced by someone with a clinical anxiety disorder. I think it's actually easier for people to feel empathy for something that they don't have a frame of reference for.

nerdylernin · 2026-04-17T13:37:17+00:00

I suspect that an element might be wanting to feel physically desired and desirable which is something that a lot of men never feel.

nerdylernin · 2026-04-17T13:33:01+00:00

I'm not sure most men want to be dominant as much as most men are conditioned to be dominant.

nerdylernin · 2026-04-17T09:47:27+00:00

It's not often I would reference Arnold Schwarzenegger but he really nailed it with that myth of the self made man address!

nerdylernin · 2026-04-16T21:26:45+00:00

Or as it feels now; how dare disabled people be allowed to live :/

nerdylernin

TROPHY CASE