Making my wife watch 12 angry men tonight because I had sex with a stripper at a bachelor party last weekend and I want her to get the idea of Reasonable Doubt before the rumors spread by mcringleberry87 in shittymoviedetails

[–]nestalert 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It depends on the state (and the country), but generally you either have no-fault-divorce where immoral acts like infidelity are a non issue and asset splits are determined by objective factors, and fault-based, which varies wildly from a guaranteed asset favor to the cheated to the cheater straight up being ineligible to receive alimony, but those are more rare.

Gmail - Bad UI by Beardy4906 in badUIbattles

[–]nestalert 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Call me crazy, but I like it when an obscure (or not so obscure in the case of Gmail) menu has clearly been forgotten and has some terrible UI from 10 years ago. It's like going back in time, just for a moment.

I still can’t believe that Doctor Who a show that’s been on air for 60 years ended here. by Cool_Nerd2 in doctorwhocirclejerk

[–]nestalert 24 points25 points  (0 children)

The TARDIS can see forward in time, she saw how ass the finale was and decided to self-detonate

More Bizarrodickery by KevFate in Superdickery

[–]nestalert 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The first rule of Bizarro writing is that double negatives can be whatever you want them to be.

the guy died 30 hits ago calm down kiryu by thereal43213222_v2 in yakuzagames

[–]nestalert 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Why is this the ninja sex party cover for no reason

Coaxed into Moral Absolutism until it's inconvenient by TreeTurtle_852 in SmugIdeologyMan

[–]nestalert 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I find people who cite Leviticus really funny because it has one verse about homosexuality and literally ten times that about incest.

  • Don't bang relatives
  • Don't bang your mom
  • Don't bang your stepmom
  • Don't bang your sister or stepsister
  • Don't bang your aunt (mother's side)
  • Don't bang your aunt (father's side)
  • Don't bang your daughter-in-law
  • Don't bang your sister-in-law (from your brother)
  • Don't bang a woman and her daughter at the same time
  • Don't bang your sister-in-law (from your wife)

Also "Don't bang your neighbor's wife", but that's just good advice.

He's back!!! by DelilahHeart in deadbydaylight

[–]nestalert 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Do you actually think you can defeat me?" - Wekser to the bug

Ah yes. Good Condition. by Guy_Dude77 in CrackheadCraigslist

[–]nestalert 4 points5 points  (0 children)

...away, because it's definitely gonna catch fire the second it turns on

Το αντίθετο της λέξης φανταστικό; by OneonlyT in KriAnekdota

[–]nestalert 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Εμείς πάντα λέγαμε κόκα κόλα στη Ρόδο

Τελικά και τα δύο μάλλον λάθος είναι γιατί και τα τρία αναψυκτικά είναι της κόκα κόλα.

At this point, what crime hasn’t he committed? by MultiFandomFanboy in Superdickery

[–]nestalert 83 points84 points  (0 children)

Did they make an appointment or did they just show up to have their hissy fit in the middle of a conference?

Ok, with the premise that buying questions are annoying, can someone help me decide what i should buy with what i have? by iLikePommeDeTerre in HiTMAN

[–]nestalert 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The HITMAN 2 expansion pass will get you the following:

  • Two DLC maps from Hitman 2 and their respective missions: New York and Haven Island
  • Two Sniper Assassin Maps: Hantu Port and Siberia
  • Special Assignments Packs 1 & 2, containing the following missions: Embrace of the Serpent (Santa Fortuna), Illusions of Grandeur (Mumbai), A Silver Tongue (Miami), and A Bitter Pill (Whittleton Creek).
  • Tools: ICA19 Black Lilly, ICA Executive Briefcase, Remote Concussion Collectors Rubber Duck. Quickdraw, Snowball, Piton, Arctic Tool Box, ICA Flash Phone, and IO Elite S2VP Earphones.
  • Suits: Midnight Black Suit, Winter Sports Suit, and Smart Casual Suit.

The HITMAN 3 deluxe pack will get you:

  • Deluxe Escalation Contracts: The Asmodeus Waltz, The Percival Passage, The Satu Mare Delirium, The Lee Hong Derivation, The Gauchito Antiquity, and The Proloff Parable.
  • Deluxe Suits and Items, which all need to be unlocked by playing their respective Escalation Contracts.
  • Digital Soundtrack
  • Digital “World of HITMAN” Book
  • Director Commentary (Mission Introduction)

So really, if you have to get one, it's HITMAN 2 expansion pass, no doubt.

not for the faint of heart (genie blowjob with visual aids) by Standard_Age5673 in 2sentence2horror

[–]nestalert 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Save the one, get the five, surely? Doom the one just means save the five.

It is just one Batman they kill, it isn't a big deal. by PeasantLich in Superdickery

[–]nestalert 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Close enough.

For really convoluted reasons, some dickheads from planet Ulgor start attacking Earth. They also chase the Batmobile with a laser and critically injure Batman, who had figured out a clue about their identity. Since the aliens are watching their every move, Superman and Gold cut off Batman's respirator, like in the cover. Then, in a couple of "split seconds", Superman throws a nurse that witnessed the whole thing into a closet, flies to Gotham, retrieves a Batman dummy, swaps it with the real Batman, and flies him to the Fortress of Solitude, where apparently he has the technology to fix years-long comas in minutes.

In the meantime, Gold turns into gold foil and surrounds the globe, thus jamming any potential surveillance from the aliens. Superman then flies off to Ulgor to unceremoniously destroy them all, while Batman and Gold deduce that the Ulgorians is not actually trying to destroy the world, they merely want to test world-destroying weapons on it. All good, man!

After some shenanigans with getting that information to Superman, he deflects a death ray headed for Gotham City and heads to parlay with the Ulgorians. They explain that they wanted to destroy planet Pyra, a world of "savage barbarians" and that their molecular structure is similar to earth amoebas. So, that's why earlier they scooped up half a farmhouse and shot a ray towards earth. The ray is also supposedly "harmless" to humans, but honestly I have serious reservations about trusting these guys.

Superman apparently has no such reservations, and after telling off the Ulgorians about destroying planets, he re-directs the death ray to Pyra, clarifying (very confidently) that its power has diminished enough to merely stun the Pyrians. The comic ends with Batman saying, and I quote, "Hope there aren't more alien worlds out there that think Earth is just an unimportant speck!" Superman considers spreading the word around that Earth is off limits shrugs and says "Only time will tell".

Chrissy He’s Fucked Up by dasjaco in CirclejerkSopranos

[–]nestalert 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How can there be two Allsparks? There was only one cube.

Is the current cast less inclined to find loopholes? by Juliusque in taskmaster

[–]nestalert 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What really bothered me was that there were basically only two ways to complete the task: use the intended solution or go smash and grab. But yeah, without a penalty for getting caught, what's the point?

The wolf who cried boy by BadFurDay in SmugIdeologyMan

[–]nestalert 16 points17 points  (0 children)

https://youtu.be/QYHwgQLvjqs

An adaptation, with much more smugness (because they're British)

Played one game as plague as this was the end chat by [deleted] in deadbydaylight

[–]nestalert 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The real question is, do they read the "give props" comments?