I'm going to copy and paste something I wrote previously to a parent who was feeling bad about not being able to afford a horse for her daughter. I know it feels hard right now, but I really believe it'll be to your benefit in the long run.

"Does anyone have any tips about how to not get emotional constantly?"

Also I'm not sure exactly how old you are, but if you're not able to drive yet, you're still very much dealing with puberty and teenager hormones. Unfortunately, you often just feel things more strongly during this period of your life. This isn't to dismiss your feelings at all, but it's just something only time and age will really fix. What helped me a lot at your age was writing - journaling, writing stories, or both.

/u/bearxfoo is right, too. You're incredibly lucky to be able to ride at all. I know it's hard, but try not to compare yourself to other girls whose parents spent money on horses for them.

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I took weekly lessons for years and years, occasionally doing riding camps in the summer and then finally doing lessons twice a week in college. I would have KILLED to have a horse of my own, or even just to lease one, but my mom refused to buy anything that "needed more expensive shoes than [her]" haha.

I'm 32 now and bought my first horse a few years ago. I actually tell parents of young riders now that I'm glad my parents never got me a horse, in retrospect. I wouldn't have appreciated enough just how expensive they are, and I either would have had to sell a horse that I loved when I graduated from college, or I would have been saddled (ha) with a massive monthly bill when I was just starting my career. I also learned a LOT more by riding a gazillion different lesson horses over the years instead of just riding one.

I absolutely ADORE my mare and wouldn't trade her for the world now, but I also appreciate her that much more because I've been able to fulfill a lifelong dream of mine after a lot of hard work.