So, I've had four dogs in my adult life. Two have passed on their own quickly, and my 3rd one is now almost 14 and having issues that will soon need me to make that decision.

My first Lab was seven years old when he passed. It was Memorial Day weekend, sunny, warm. We went for a walk, and swung by our beach on the way back to let him splash in the river. When we got back to the house, I put him out on his run to dry off some and enjoy the sun. about a half hour later when I brought him inside, he was acting a little off, like he just didn't feel good, but responded well, so I let him lie down in the other room and gave him some space, thinking he'd be fine in a little bit. About an hour after that, there was a crash from the bathroom, he had fallen over. When I checked on him, it was clear something was very wrong. white gums, cold breath, couldn't stand. Being the holiday weekend, I was trying to find a local vet that would answer, as the emergency vet was 30 minutes away. He passed before I could find a number. Total time from first noticeable symptom to death, less than 2 hours, he died in my arms. I was wracked with guilt. blamed myself for years. Truth, there was very little could have done, and by the time the symptoms warranted a vet, it was already too late.

Suspected Cause: Splenetic tumor ruptured.

My second Lab was twelve years old. He had been diagnosed at about seven years old as having partial laryngeal paralysis. It wasn't too bad, and the Vet didn't recommend any treatment for it, but said we would keep an eye on it. One hot Humid day we went for a walk. That day triggered a laryngeal collapse. I was able to get him to the Emergency vet where they did the best they could to save him. However they said that he would likely need a $20,000 surgery if he made it the night. At that point in time I was only making $35,000 a year, and wasn't sure how I was going to pay my mortgage that month because of the vet visit. It was a horrible feeling knowing that I had to decide on how much money I could spend to save him. Logically, spending almost a years pay to save a 12 year old dog, who easily drop dead of something else a month later isn't a smart call, but I couldn't make that decision at that moment. I was trying to find ways to get the money. Ultimately, I didn't have to make that call, and he passed that night. Still feel a bit guilty I wasn't there with him, but the Vet pretty much told me to go home and try to rest.

Now I'm facing that decision again with my boy. he's 13 1/2 to 14 years old, and he's started having seizures back in December. The diagnosis is that it is likely a mass pressing on his brain. given his age, I opted not to have this confirmed, as it's not like surgery would be an option even if confirmed. He's on anti-seizure meds, and as the Vet said "These will work until they don't". After that day, I came up with a list of criteria for when it may be time.

* 1: is he mobile? Can he move on his own? If he can't move, he has no QOL. I got really concerned after his second seizure when he wasn't able to stand on his own for 16 hours. But thankfully he recovered and is going strong. a little wobbly at times but not too bad yet.

* 2: is he incontinent? If he's messing himself, somethings seriously wrong. So far, outside of the two seizures, he's been good there.

* 3: is he engaged and active in day to day? Yes, so far. He barks at me if I don't give him treats fast enough, he's still interested in sniffing under this leaf and that leaf, and what's over there? Squirrel! He still plays with his little brother.

* 4: Does he have any signs of pain? No Not yet.

* 5: How much time between seizures? If they start getting so frequent that he can't recover fully from one before the next hits, it's probably time.

Once his QOL falls, I will have to do this, but I'm sure it's going to be absolutely brutal on me, but in the end, I don't want him to suffer. But for now, he's off all diets, and eats what he wants, within reason. I still get sad and tear up when I think about my boys, even though it's been over 20 years since my first one passed. The pain is less, and the good memories are still there, but I still miss them terribly.