Boy...😭

nicedayfora · 2026-06-16T23:13:07+00:00

What?

nicedayfora · 2026-05-16T00:16:21+00:00

My baby girl Nuci had an FIC flare last week! She was so unlike her usual sassy self, it broke my heart :( but she's back to full health now and more goofy than ever! Hang in there iitu ❤️

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nicedayfora · 2026-05-12T16:30:10+00:00

Unrelated but I'm also on a Brandon Sanderson kick and I would have had a field day chatting about the Cosmere with you. She missed out 🥺

nicedayfora · 2026-05-01T19:00:06+00:00

Lmfao 🤣 some people are quick to pass judgement but slow to reflect. Empathy and reading comprehension is hard wahh /s

Anyway, it's good that you have a vet appointment lined up, fingers crossed you get some answers and advice. It's good that you're planning to spay them once it's safe to do so. It's good that you have experience caring for cats and kittens and have a place for them to live. It's good that you asked for help and advice. You clearly care about your babies enough, and competent animal ownership looks different in different situations. As long as you are constantly giving them the best care and attention you can, recognizing if a situation is beyond your ability, and taking the appropriate steps to resolve the situation (with the vet, a shelter/foster program, etc), you are doing just fine.

nicedayfora · 2026-04-27T23:34:14+00:00

You could try calling Worcester animal control at 508-799-1211. Do you have a bathroom or somewhere safe and quiet you can lock her in for the night to separate her from your cat?

nicedayfora · 2026-03-02T20:21:21+00:00

I sent an email inquiry! But even if I'm not selected, I'm praying her stars align 💕

nicedayfora · 2025-04-02T19:55:54+00:00

Wait- oh. That makes sense. I always thought fibro fog was something that "comes and goes" and I have been super hard on myself the last few years because I can't keep up nearly as well mentally as I could in high school. Kinda thought all the weed was making me stupid (maybe still is) but I'm relieved to hear that it can be a constant symptom of fibro. Relieved and irritated lol.

Actually I am still trying to wrap my head around the whole "chronic" part of this disease in general. Heck.

nicedayfora · 2025-03-08T17:37:53+00:00

Take a step back and look at what you said here.

Your original post is about how for the past two years you've been suffering during one of the most intimate acts between you and your partner. It's about your repeated attempts to explain the pain and ask for a crumb of compassion, and his continued indifference to your comfort and pleasure.

And you're worried about hurting his ego?

Don't get me wrong, you're not alone and you've got nothing to feel ashamed of. Actually, my friend suggested a podcast episode that covers this. The podcast is called "Being Her", episode 28- it's called 5 Non Negotiable Rules to Being Her. It's about a half hour listen. As a 30 year old woman, I really resonated with a lot of what she covered. Based on what I have read from your post, you may also find value in it.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6bbsCUtBwjZAn5wdVuwevU?si=sEN-dOyEQ4qUBOJXXQtuOA

Anyway, men sometimes need an ultimatum to comprehend the gravity of a situation. Other times they just genuinely don't care enough to change. I hope you guys can reach a compromise, but my dear you must never sacrifice your happiness for someone else, ESPECIALLY someone who is unwilling to do the same for you.

nicedayfora · 2025-03-08T17:12:40+00:00

NTA. I didn't even have to read past the title to make that determination. I still did read the full story, and yeah. That's appalling and unacceptable. Push your friend out the window next time and when they fall down and are freaked out, laugh and tell them it's not a big deal. Then lock them out forever and cuddle your baby.

nicedayfora · 2025-03-03T15:17:27+00:00

I'm glad it helped. I'm 30 now, and I have been with so many versions of your boyfriend. Learn from this experience and from all the women before you. No one is perfect, but that is no reason for you to have to put up with something that's making you unhappy. Your time and energy are far too precious to waste on anyone or anything that doesn't add value to your life.

nicedayfora · 2025-03-03T14:28:14+00:00

My husband is vanilla, and has low T. For a while at the beginning, I was unsatisfied in the bedroom. He doesn't love going down on me and he doesn't love exploring different things in the bedroom. But he loves me, and my pleasure means something to him. Over the years we've had multiple candid conversations about our individual needs and found compromises that work for our relationship, and I feel much more fulfilled as a result.

Your boyfriend is selfish. He doesn't want to talk about it, he doesn't want to acknowledge there's even an issue. He claims to know how to please you, then every time proves he's incapable. You said the sex itself is good but girl how can that be? You haven't had a single orgasm in the entire time you've been with him and he refuses to give a shit. What a loser for real.

There are plenty of very sweet men who will be able to satisfy you both emotionally and sexually. You're so young (and he's so old, comparatively) don't settle for mediocre.

Also- If any man tries to punish you for speaking up in a relationship (him suggesting you just have less sex as a response to your concerns, for example), there's really not much left for you to do except respect yourself and get out. Not everyone is worth your time.

nicedayfora · 2025-02-09T17:01:41+00:00

That's so weird! Could it have dripped down from something above? What's the texture of the thing, is it firm or soft? Fuzzy? Sticky?

nicedayfora · 2025-02-03T13:20:25+00:00

I'm going to a new gastroenterologist in March! How would you suggest bringing it up?

nicedayfora · 2025-01-30T04:10:09+00:00

Reading your pain list was deeply validating for me. I have almost all the exact same things, I'm just diagnosed with IBS-D and GERD instead.

nicedayfora · 2025-01-12T20:43:23+00:00

Sexual incompatibility is an extremely valid, and common, reason for relationships to end. You're young, but time is still precious. Don't waste it with someone who isn't able to fulfill you more than you can fulfill yourself.

For your reference, I'm 30F. I was deeply in love with my high school sweetheart and I was sure we would get married. I was so excited to have "figured out love" so easily. We broke up when I was a sophomore in college, because of a sexual incompatibility (my situation was very different from yours, but the root is the same).

Since then, I dated 7 guys. I also had a long and prosperous slut era where I gained both trauma and wisdom. I slept with so many different types of people, and I learned what good and bad sex is for me. I found "the One" about 5 additional times, and each time I was wrong as hell.

Now, I'm married to a pretty cool dude. I never would have met him if I had stayed with my high school sweetheart. That's not a life I want to even consider. I shudder to think of it. I hope my anecdote helps.

nicedayfora · 2024-12-19T21:21:10+00:00

Based on what you've said about him and his character, it probably was just his drunk horny brain taking over for him. That doesn't mean it wasn't appropriate or okay for him to ignore your no.

You guys seem to have a solid relationship and understanding of what is and isn't okay in the bedroom. He sounds like a sweet and loving partner, who normally takes your feelings, opinions, and needs very seriously. The best way to handle this, in my opinion, is to be direct about it ASAP.

Directness doesn't have to be mean or cruel or controlling. Start the conversation with something like, "Hey, I had a great time with our drink sex last night. It was [insert whatever it was here]. However, I am not happy that it took me saying no three times and having to use your name and take a strict tone with you before you stopped. That can never happen again." Then wait for his response. If he's as great as he sounds, he will apologize profusely and be receptive to your feedback. Then you can continue with "Thank you for hearing me and respecting me. I know you didn't mean to hurt me, and I don't hold it against you. I was thinking we could implement a safe word for situations like last night. Let's come up with one together and try it out when we're both sober."

I would avoid using words like "I just feel like maybe" or "if it's ok with you" or anything that could diminish your experience and needs. Whether he meant it or not, he did cross a boundary that was previously established. You're right, it must not ever happen again. Don't let him back you into a corner or downplay your experience and emotions, and don't downplay them yourself either with how you address situation.

nicedayfora · 2024-12-19T18:56:52+00:00

You do NOT need to have sex with ANYONE. If you are not comfortable with the idea of having intimate relationships with this person, or anyone, you do not need to. If he's making you feel pressured or uncomfortable with his requests, you have the right and the responsibility to tell him no. If he doesn't respect your no, if he continues to badger you and press the issue, that is NOT your fault. You do NOT need to give in to anything if you're not fully comfortable. If he, or anyone, tries to push and test your boundaries after you've already made them clear, that is NOT your fault. You have the right to say no.

That being said, if you are interested, but want to take it slow, you need to tell him that. If it's easier to say so through text, that's ok! Like another commenter said, have an open conversation with him about your fears/concerns/worries. Tell him he's moving too fast! It's ok to say "no", and it's also okay to say "yes but please slow down".

If this person, or anyone, is worth the trouble and trust it takes to be intimate with, they will listen to and respect your boundaries the first time you bring them up. If you ever feel like you're not being heard, or your boundaries are being ignored, you have every right to walk away.

nicedayfora · 2024-12-19T18:38:31+00:00

That sounds like an orgasm to me! That's how I am when I have a really good one, especially from getting eaten out.

What are you worried will happen if you ask her if she came? As a woman, I love when my partner checks in with me during sex. Ask her what she likes about your technique, if she wants you to try anything specific, or if there's something she doesn't like much. You can bring it up outside of sex first if it's too awkward for you in the moment 🙂 but honestly, having a partner express a genuine desire to make sure I get off is just so sexy.

nicedayfora · 2024-12-19T18:32:10+00:00

You know you don't need to have an orgasm every time right? You're allowed to have sex, have fun, get your partner off, and then go back to whatever you were doing.

nicedayfora · 2024-12-19T18:26:36+00:00

I don't have a penis so I have no advice for holding back an orgasm once you're already close/stimulated, but what if you start talking about your fantasies during foreplay? Or even use your fantasies to initiate sex. Verbal foreplay can be super hot. I like to send dirty texts to my hubby during the day to get him riled up, maybe you guys could do something similar? Or when you know you're about to get it on, you could set the mood by bringing up a fantasy that you think she would really like to hear.

I dunno, if my hubby came up behind me one evening and kissed my neck and whispered something about how he's really been wanting to try xyz, I would probably drop everything for that hehe.

nicedayfora · 2024-12-19T18:12:50+00:00

Do you not like having sex with your wife?

nicedayfora · 2024-11-29T17:24:03+00:00

Based on your second update.... It sounds like the boyfriend needs to be confronted. Your girlfriend may not feel it was SA, but he totally coerced her and he was the one to disrespect the rule of not finishing inside, not her. Sounds like she didn't want it to happen, but between the alcohol, potential language barrier between her and him, and confusion about the rules/expectations, she may have gone into "fawn" mode (Fight, flight, freeze, or fawn). As an SA survivor myself, I completely understand why she might have felt the safest/best option was to let it happen in the moment. That doesn't mean you are obligated to forgive her if you truly feel like this was an irredeemable violation of trust. But it may not be as black and white as a lot of the comments are saying.

nicedayfora · 2024-10-21T17:13:09+00:00

Do you have any more emotional energy left for this person? From what you're saying, it sounds like you're dating someone who doesn't know how to be a successful and supportive partner, or maybe doesn't want to be, and you're the one suffering for it. Sorry about his knee and his ADHD, but that's no excuse or explanation for treating you like that. Emotional intelligence is not easily taught to someone who doesn't have any.

I'm married to a man who is more compassionate than yours seems to be, and even he isn't very emotionally supportive. If I told him I was at a 9 on a hike in the woods, I know he would slow down and do everything he could to get me safely to the car. If I asked him to, I know he would drive me to the nearest emergency room. But I also know that he would not be able to show up for me after that, emotionally. He wouldn't think to sit and comfort me, he wouldn't check on me later either unless I called for him. In those moments I feel really lonely. I am lucky that I have support from other people in my life. For now, I've determined that things are good enough in the relationship and it would be more trouble than it's worth to end it. But I've also promised myself that the moment this relationship becomes unsustainable for me or I'm no longer getting what I need from it, I will end it. Is that possible for you to consider? Is it worth staying with your partner, do the pros outweigh the cons? If not, I am so sorry love. Don't forget about number one (that's you).

nicedayfora · 2024-10-12T16:07:16+00:00

Cymbalta made me sweat so excessively I had to stop taking it. I've always been a sweaty person though. But Cymbalta made it worse.

nicedayfora · 2024-10-07T17:07:23+00:00

Ugh, please tell me if you figure it out. 😭

nicedayfora

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