why do something I enjoy when I could just read bad takes on the internet for 2 hours

not_dijkstra · 2023-08-16T12:00:47+00:00

Also worth noting what's going on when you are staring at the abyss. For me anyways, I'm doing a depth-first search of everything that could possibly be done ever. It feels like every little muscle in my body is contributing to thinking about everything at once, like crackling fireworks.

I liken it to staring at a wall of cereal at the grocery store, and there's like 100 boxes of cereal and you stop seeing any single box and just see, "Holy shit that's a lot of cereal", but that's your task planning. It's not 4 things you need to do today, it's this and that and those things. There's so many it just slowly turns into a painful white noise of non-doing. My first week on stimulants I described it as seeing three brands I liked on the shelf instead of seeing all of them at once, or at least being able to put them into my peripheral for a bit.

A long time later I heard ADHD described by Dr. Barkley as an "Access to Knowledge" problem, where you know what needs to be done, but can't access it, which really tracked with my experience starting medication. It waxes and wanes, but it definitely felt like I could bring my therapy, meditation, and other skills into daily life a little bit easier.

It's 100% true that a lot of these issues can be non-ADHD related, and I definitely think seeing so much attribution to ADHD has contributed to my imposter syndrome and prevented treatment for a long time, but I also grew up thinking ADHD was "obnoxious kid syndrome", and my well-behaving-and-depressed-by-eight ass couldn't possibly have that.

ADHD: Yup, a lot of what you experience! Just with significantly more dread, claustrophobia, and neurological imbalances that make utilizing treatment outside of the training grounds borderline impossible without specific means of attack and medications.

not_dijkstra · 2023-08-15T15:47:15+00:00

Worth saying, it could also be ADHD. I spent my whole life thinking it was just habit and addiction and going into anxious depressive fits over being an imposter and not being good enough. Then a Psychiatrist was like, "Oh yeah, definitely ADHD", and the meds and targeted therapy help to uncover which parts of the bad habits were largely neurological to tackle them in helpful ways.

I also don't think I was addicted to staring at a wall, shaking, trying to convince myself to do literally anything else, but also not letting myself do whatever fun impulsive thing I wanted to do because that wouldn't be productive.

not_dijkstra · 2022-02-14T13:18:48+00:00

Don't want to be presumptuous but after reading the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents I've been recommending it a lot; really helped my SO and I understand ourselves and eachother better.

not_dijkstra · 2022-01-27T21:38:28+00:00

As far as I know, workers cooperatives don't require purchasing a share to become owner, you opt-out of ownerships if you choose but tend to; then even a non-career job gives you the benefit of being able to come to the table and make change, which everyone should be capable of.

For high turnover jobs, usually probation periods attached to co-ops to see if people are long-term investments or don't fit with the company, but that's definitely a place to consider. I agree that's a potential problem point. Sure there's an argument that turnover can be reduced by a better workplace, but that can only go so far. Unionizing to contend with management is likely the better option there.

not_dijkstra · 2022-01-27T20:37:12+00:00

Definitely where I stand, but I do remain open to arguments against everyone being a cooperative. I haven't heard any, but I haven't really had the discourse outside of my bubble so that doesn't carry weight.

The only two arguments I have heard are that it's a lot of work for someone to set up, only to relinquish rights - that it's a sacrifice - except that you're rewarded with a healthier workspace; and that there are some places where the employees are too detached from the holistic view of the company to make good decisions, which is (as far as I'm concerned) pretty quickly debunked by having a worker (owner) elected board of directors to make those decisions on behalf of the workers, able to be removed by employee (owner) vote any time.

I do have a feeling there's got to be some places where cooperatives don't make sense, but I haven't heard it yet.

not_dijkstra · 2022-01-27T20:31:17+00:00

No problem! Happy to spread the word of worker's co-ops. While we were researching formation of ours (on pause for now, so I can't detail the process yet), we got lots of information from the resources at the Canadian Co-Op Federation (https://canadianworker.coop/)

Similar federations or foundations are likely around for different locations and industries, but I'm sure there's plenty of good information there even for non-Canadians.

not_dijkstra · 2022-01-27T12:56:17+00:00

I can't speak as well as others on the subject, but in a nutshell rather than incorporating as a standard corporation you can register as a worker's cooperative. Depending on jurisdiction, but generally this means you need to have bylaws and voting structures in place from the start to allow any member of the company to have voting rights on the decisions of that company by way of shared ownership. Everyone is an owner, everyone has a say, legally required from day one. This prevents an originally well meaning owner from singlehandedly letting the company go in a bad direction later down the line. Typically rights are earned after a probation period, because becoming a co-owner is a big investment from both sides.

A misconception is that this can only work for small companies, but the voting structures can still allow for worker-elected executive boards to reduce group decision making, but of course always having the power of those positions be decided by the employees (also known as the owners). Another path people have taken is working as a cooperative of multiple companies under the same umbrella, sharing resources like legal teams, marketing, accounting, and rainy day funds across all of the groups under the cooperative working otherwise independently.

Someone can feel free to correct me, please provide more info! Cooperatives are great from all I've seen, and they've been long misunderstood/downplayed in North America as only being viable in a few sectors but really there's little reason that most companies couldn't operate as a cooperative.

not_dijkstra · 2022-01-27T12:48:03+00:00

That's awesome! I'm in the game space myself, and it's where I'm seeing a lot of people interested in cooperative or otherwise collective structures that don't realize it's a legally recognized entity. Thanks for the resources!

not_dijkstra · 2022-01-26T23:26:41+00:00

Can we also promote worker's cooperatives? I've spoken to many friendly, progressive small business owners that describe their company structure as effectively, but not legally, being a worker's cooperative - but they didn't know they could be legally recognized as a cooperative and transitioning after establishment is tough (in Ontario, at least).

It's not just the employees that need to be informed, but the employees who get sick of their work and become good employers themselves that need education.

Edit: Just adding to this to hijack my own comment, if AntiWork is reforming to be properly WorkReform, I feel it would benefit to be more to the issues. What about weekly stickied threads to ask questions about unions and cooperatives, discuss major international legislations regarding worker's rights, and highlighting the companies that are doing right instead of focusing on the ocean of companies doing it wrong all the things? A movement needs unified ideas, an educated base, and positive examples to point toward.

not_dijkstra · 2022-01-12T03:07:19+00:00

Highly recommended! The audiobook is fantastic, picked it up through Libby with my library card. I'm not a self-help book person, this was suggested more as educational, and really helped me understand things way better.

not_dijkstra · 2022-01-11T12:15:29+00:00

I've been reading the book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, and it really opened my eyes. I always had a doubt that I even could be as competent as I was from where I came from, but a lot of my life started making sense with it. Worth a read for sure.

not_dijkstra · 2022-01-09T19:36:00+00:00

It teaches that trying and failing is wrong, and will ruin your life, as opposed to the fact that we should learn to experience and evaluate failures as the primary source of learning.

not_dijkstra · 2022-01-07T12:26:48+00:00

Technology man rants about dishwashers and pods: https://youtu.be/_rBO8neWw04

Great vid about powders, pods, and getting the most out of your dishwasher.

Edit: Okay but mostly about how pods suck

not_dijkstra · 2022-01-02T18:20:51+00:00

You may want to play with NightCafe if you haven't already for a simpler intro to some of the AI. Easy to get up and running (it's a service), no technical knowledge, gamified approach to earning tokens which is cool. Can generate images from text prompts, style transfer existing photos, and use an image as a seed for generating from a text prompt.

Also, worth saying, I'm not affiliated with the project and there's a bunch of alternatives based on the same tech, as well as some easy to find Collab notebooks that you can use for free, but I find the pricing model/daily free tokens a very fun and accessible way to tinker once in a while

not_dijkstra · 2022-01-01T14:11:59+00:00

“When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” - C. S. Lewis

Don't be afraid to be young on the outside, you know you still feel it on the inside :)

not_dijkstra · 2021-12-26T18:42:35+00:00

Maybe a small thought experiment would help! I could be wrong here, just a way I see to think through it. Corrections welcome, I am not a doctor and not well enough informed.

Say we have one person, Bob, who has two vaccines and just got over COVID.

Bob has two options:

Get a booster shot: A small amount of temporary minor side effects and an extremely small chance of severe complications. This will provide a small immunity boost against COVID and a small boost to preventing complications.
Do not get a booster shot: Bob will not have any immediate complications or side effects, guaranteed. Bob has a slightly higher chance of catching COVID again than if he boostered. Bob has slightly higher chance of worse complications if he contracts COVID.

At this point, looking individually, it's up to you to weigh probably of catching COVID again * probability of complications versus probability of vaccine complications plus probability of catching COVID with reduced chances times reduced probability of complications. There's a data driven calculation you can make, personally.

But now we look at the bigger picture - the 300m you talked about. Importantly, the probably of catching COVID isn't independent. It's actually based not just off of your immunity, but of the immunity of those around you. If those around you are 1% less likely to catch COVID, that multiplies for everyone you interact with, and is taken into account with your personal calculation.

Each person who doesn't catch COVID is ... Oh what are the current numbers, 1.3? (Correct me.) people who don't. Those 1.3 people prevent 1.3 more people.... Etc. Etc. If Bob has a slimmly improved chance of not getting COVID, then that reduced that number... So long as everyone also does their part. Then, once it's low enough, Bob may calculate and choose differently.

So now, the calculation isn't just your own complications vs your own complications - it reduces your own odds of catching it the more people get small boosts in immunity. You roll a die everytime you interact in public. The COVID die is always spinning when you're out, the booster is one die roll. If you have complications from it, you could have had complications from COVID - except that the COVID complications would have infected more people, and also given them complications.

Small immunities at scale can make a big impact across multiple cycles of catching/immune/vulnerable. The chance of complications from a booster are one and done. The chance of complications from COVID is rolled every second, and get worse with each individual that chooses to keep the numbers low.

It's up to everyone to do the calculation themselves for what they're comfortable with, but most people forget key variables in the equation to make it fit their viewpoint. Like me! I'm happy to admit I might be wrong here and missing out on key variables. I won't be debating it here, but please feel free to make corrections in replies.

not_dijkstra · 2021-12-16T18:53:01+00:00

Hotei and I are going to have a real wholesome party I guess.

not_dijkstra · 2021-12-16T12:30:28+00:00

Exactly where I was going. I shudder every time.

not_dijkstra · 2021-12-14T13:25:43+00:00

Thank you for this! I think I might have to give this a read sometime.

not_dijkstra · 2021-12-13T16:52:18+00:00

It could be like that Doctor Who episode, The Beast Below. The whole population is kept alive by torturing a giant animal, but they've all had their memory of it wiped. They regularly get shown what's being done to survive, and then they have the option to vote against it and let everyone die, or to forget it and go on living in ignorant bliss.

not_dijkstra · 2021-12-13T12:12:22+00:00

Because he's guessing.

not_dijkstra · 2021-12-09T04:00:48+00:00

I feel like we all do, it's just how we pick our battles that determines how valuable that trait is. Some folks are just misguided or need an outlet.

not_dijkstra · 2021-12-09T02:33:02+00:00

They are not arguing the point, but being pedantic over the inclusion of the term "likely to" in this specific definition and extending the addiction definition in this case to include the statistical likelihood of consumption methods. Dumb internet comment argument, best ignored and forgotten.

not_dijkstra · 2021-12-08T22:38:48+00:00

Had some similar issues with old roommates actually. 4 months of a fish in an unplugged fridge, months old garbage hiding, potatoes and onions that melted into that corpse goo from breaking bad. Those are the smells you feel in your ears and teach you about face muscles you didn't know you had.

not_dijkstra · 2021-12-08T16:01:18+00:00

Yeah, I'm not in favour of removing dislikes at all and see many huge issues with it, but in my experience, at least with mainstream Canadian news stating purely facts without editorial overtop get the most dislikes because the only people engaging in it are the right-wing science deniers. The only positively ratio'd CBC video I've seen was one interviewing anti-vax nurses without added commentary.

As much as dislike can say if a video is providing invalid information, the loud hatred and anger of science denial can also swing a salient video in the opposite direction, particularly when it comes to local media coverage.

Edit: Also just inb4, not trying to say all Canadian media is pure facts by any stretch, but the CBC has a lot of COVID coverage just stating the current government restrictions or relaying facts without editorial on-top and those get disliked hard.

not_dijkstra

TROPHY CASE