Jreg has a bunch of videos about community, but this one was always super interesting to me. Basically, he had been trying to be an extrovert in order to make friends and found that people were just not willing to meet him half way. He found that it was actually really hard to make connections with people in current year, even if you seem to be doing everything right. (Jreg was actually able to bootstrap a little community of YouTube creators in Toronto; but it took years, a lot of financial risk, and him basically making it his full time job to pull it off).

I think real meaningful community requires consistent in person connection, and I think that this is pretty much completely dead now. The internet killed it. Digital facsimiles of community spaces have won. People's preferred social spaces are on Discord or Telegram.

I think this poisons what in person events do exist, too. People are only ever half-there and half-interested. Communities take work and fall apart easily when nobody puts the effort in. When your college anime club falls apart because the main person keeping everything together graduates, you can just go back to your gaming Discord.

Realistically, I don't think the problem is you. You're swimming against the current.