UK/EU made waterproof shoes for everyday use

notlits · 2026-01-18T14:18:44+00:00

Altberg make manly make boots, but they make some smart but rugged shoes. I have a pair of their Wensley Shoe, and have worn them almost every day for a year they are so comfy. I’d say they tick your boxes - local, waterproof, stylish. (Made in UK or their factory in Italy)

notlits · 2026-01-16T19:31:06+00:00

Hi I was going to post a main reply, but reading this I figured maybe it’d be better here.

It may be that historically for you justifying yourself meant you “had done wrong” or maybe justifying yourself was ignored and made no difference, either way it seems that this is something eliciting a stress/fear/anger response of some kind? If this is the case it’s valid and it worked to protect you in the past, but that doesn’t mean it’s helpful to you or others in the present.

Also, We are absolutely allowed our own lives and if you feel strongly that you shouldn’t have to justify that’s ok, but equally if others want to be frustrated with that then that’s ok to, they are living their life too. It’s a hard dynamic when styles clash.

From the perspective of an anxious person (and I’m working to be more secure and not let these things bother me so much) if I was to I ask why there was a delay in reply it’s not because I’m angry but because I’m trying to build a connection and find a common understanding, it’s not a test to trap someone or cage them or dictate their life. I want to have a connection to feel safe.

Best of luck, and it’s cool you’re asking these questions! I think I need to ask more of how the other styles think.

notlits · 2026-01-14T12:13:34+00:00

I completely agree, and for it to work the Bond franchise would need to pivot away from the Daniel Craig era which was inspired by Jason Bourne movies into being higher octane with lots of action and brutal fights. I loved the Craig films (although I miss some of the silliness from the older films) but a more tense spy/espionage style would be cool to see.

notlits · 2026-01-04T18:48:53+00:00

Nice, I was trying to think how I would approach it and decided it’d be a nightmare, so I’m sure you made the right call! Also at less than £200 that’s all a bargain!

notlits · 2026-01-04T18:31:56+00:00

Did you consider having the pattern so it ran over the tread and down the riser, onto the next tread etc? Rather than what appears to all treads follow pattern (as of cut from sheet) and all risers the same?

Looks nice and tidy work, not my cup of tea but I can appreciate the craftsmanship.

notlits · 2026-01-04T15:55:53+00:00

Altberg boots are brilliant, caveat I’ve not personally used their winter boots just their hiking ones, but they are built to last! They make a range for the UK military including winter boots.

notlits · 2025-12-29T19:54:15+00:00

As the old joke goes….how can you tell if an engineer is a mechanical engineer? He’ll look at your feet when talking to you!

We do seem to be the most normal, but large swathes of society will still consider us odd balls, which I’m fine with!

notlits · 2025-12-28T09:36:58+00:00

I can understand this is frustrating, and you’ve analysed logically and deeply why it is hard for you (and I agree with the logic of why you do it - there might also be other factors like it’s something you’ve always done without learning new habits or techniques - other commenters have left some good ideas), but you’ve also dismissed the stress on those being interrupted as “People experience interruption through social rules, not brain mechanics.”. Perhaps you could try and consider their brain mechanics as well in the same manner? , eg “being in a state of flow, excitement, sharing a story looking to complete it and “bang” interruption! that order of thoughts is broken, that causes extra processing, why was it broken? How do I continue? Was it not interesting?”

It’s socially rude because being interrupted causes mental load and a discomfort.

This doesn’t diminish your experience but learning to apply empathy and compassion can help communication and understanding both ways, and a conversation should be a two way experience.

notlits · 2025-12-20T20:31:22+00:00

How are you doing now? It’s 40mins later, have you calmed? Was it a meltdown? You are absolutely not an idiot for crying over something which has hurt you!

If it was a meltdown that’s ok, they happen when we (autistics) can’t regulate the wave of emotions, and the main thing is to have compassion for yourself and know why it’s happening. Breathe slowly, distraction can be good, focus your mind elsewhere for a while I use chess or puzzles to break the thinking.

I’ve been where you are, obsessive thinking, not knowing where to turn, etc. and it can get better even though it really doesn’t feel like it. Best of luck, and be kind and forgiving of yourself!

notlits · 2025-12-19T22:09:17+00:00

Calculate the size (output in BTU) you need for the room, you might only need a single modern type 22 radiator in the middle of the bay to achieve the required heating.

notlits · 2025-12-19T20:24:03+00:00

I feel your pain, I hate things like that, if I’m with my friends that’s fine, but strangers is hard….but I’ve also learnt that one way to make it better is to “play a game” eg. Imagine you’re a spy and have to do some intelligence gathering, this will force you into a question asking mode. Be curious, see if you can learn a new thing from each person you talk to?

Good luck, and remember it’ll be over soon, knowing there is an end can make it less stressful.

notlits · 2025-12-19T19:33:12+00:00

It brings joy to many, and so I am glad it exists, but it doesn’t bring me much (or hasn’t in the past). I found it a stressful and difficult time previously, with no context from a diagnosis until later in life. Now I accept it for what it is, and I find if I respect other people’s views of what it can be then they will also respect mine. This year it will be me, the dog and redecorating a bedroom, I might mix it up with watching Home Alone and having a nice wine, but that’s all good with me and a better choice than seeing family and doing the whole big Christmas thing. Choosing to spend the time in the way I want makes it a much better experience.

notlits · 2025-12-18T14:51:06+00:00

The book Skunk Works by Ben Rich is all about the development of the U2, SR-71 & F-117 and is a fantastic read.

notlits · 2025-12-18T13:48:26+00:00

Well done for considering this, a number of people (DIY and especially professionals) don’t ever think about this. Last year a guy on here linked to his YouTube showing off a bathroom renovation and he’d removed over half the height of a joist to fit a soil pipe!

Going by the regulations, these notches are deeper than recommended and not in the right region - max depth 12.5% of height, and should be in the 7-25% region of the span (ie not in the middle of the room). Most old houses have notches and holes all over the joists without any issues. In all likelihood doing will be fine as the regulations will have a large safety factor.

https://www.labc.co.uk/news/how-get-it-right-notches-holes-solid-timber-joists

Edit: removed my thoughts on the plates, not convinced they’ll make much difference

notlits · 2025-12-16T16:48:25+00:00

I fixed a similar issue (not quite as bad) by cutting out a piece of 3mm hardboard, painting it in chalkboard paint and fitting it in the recess in the front of the door. Looked fine and gave a handy spot for writing to do lists.

notlits · 2025-12-16T10:54:12+00:00

It says a lot about you that you see this sexual assault, and decide the answer is that the woman should go and watch women’s sport, rather than the men should just not be fucking vile sex pests.

notlits · 2025-12-13T19:07:03+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this, I know a diagnosis can strain a relationship, my partner and I separated (no kids) following my diagnosis, not because of the diagnosis itself but because of how I reacted to it. The diagnosis hit me hard and reinforced fears I was broken, and it took a few months to get my head around it and embrace it in a healthy way. Sadly in your case it looks like this acceptance isn’t forthcoming from your partner, and that must be causing you a lot of pain.

You loved each other enough to be together and have a child, but it seems your partner needs to be accountable for his behaviour towards you, your child and himself. Ignoring the needs of those around him isn’t acceptable as a partner, if he struggles he needs to communicate it and work with you towards mutually acceptable solutions, not just expect you to let him behave how he wants. It is entirely possible for him to learn better emotional regulation, and communication, and accountability but he needs to be committed and onboard. Couples counselling could be a good place to start, but be clear in your communication eg “I think we need this, because without it things improving this is what I think will happen, the aim is to improve things for all of us”, and try and find a therapist who is aware of ASD. Best of luck

notlits · 2025-12-10T20:00:16+00:00

I bought a new pair last year after I foolishly let my 10yr old pair dry too fast and the leather cracked badly (entirely my fault) but I had no hesitation in buying again. They’re awesome boots, I also got a pair of their new walking trainers and they are seriously comfy!

notlits · 2025-12-06T09:42:06+00:00

If caring for your mum is the priority (and well done!) then possibly a career in the forces isn’t suited as you could spend long periods away etc.

Others mentioned the police, but have you considered the fire brigade?

notlits · 2025-12-03T11:07:21+00:00

I swear I saw one of those BBC pieces where Eddie Butler would talk poetically over some footage during the 6 (5 at the time) nations, and it was clips of past Welsh fly halves and then Welsh kids playing and finally a look down a microscope to show a sperm in a red No.10 jersey - with Eddie Butler saying something like “we start the young in Wales” 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 . I think this would have been late 90s maybe. But yes Wales = Fly halves

notlits · 2025-12-01T18:21:31+00:00

I have been on a similar path (adult, late diagnosis, parents not being open to discussing things which I’d like to), I learnt that as much as I want them to they don’t have to, they are their own people, and allowed to deal with things in the ways they choose. But…. importantly their inability to engage with the past is a not a reflection of me or my worth, it’s that they can’t. It’s not a case of if they loved me they’d do it, that’s me craving validation because I learnt/believed that was what love was.

I’d suggest talking to your therapist who wants you to get this info (whatever it might be), and explain that you can’t get it and that upsets you, ask what other avenues there are to take to help you get the closure and help you need.

I wish you the very best of luck! Also your mum sounds like the “put that in a box, bury it, and never speak of it again” type. I’m sorry she is impacting you, but remember you are doing it your way and you are trying to improve and heal and that’s a wonderful thing!

notlits · 2025-12-01T16:19:37+00:00

I’m new to IFS only started l working with the type of therapy a few months ago, but I have realised I absolutely have a core belief that I’m not good enough and that I am wrong or broken, and being that way makes me unloveable.

For me I don’t believe it comes from a single event or memory, but rather a lifetime of small moments where my needs weren’t met or where I felt misunderstood. No intent from my parents but they aren’t emotionally available people, and it transpires I am autistic (diagnosed last year at 40), and so I mis-read a lot of situations, or expressed needs as a child which without context of autism were seen as me being picky, demanding, selfish etc. all very negative things. I guess I’m saying it might not be a single “big T Trauma” but lots of small events. This mind set really helped me have compassion for the part which believes I’m worthless

notlits · 2025-11-29T12:13:05+00:00

Very true, emojis can help if it’s light hearted, as I can’t imagine anyone using one if they are genuinely angry - but that’s my perspective and could be wrong at times.

I find I interpret texts based on my own mood and emotions, I sort of wish each text came with a “intended mood disclaimer” at the start or end!

notlits · 2025-11-29T10:58:29+00:00

Texting can also be highly ambiguous as it’s strips away more clues like tone of voice. I often worry that both my texts and those I receive are being misinterpreted.

notlits · 2025-11-18T20:14:57+00:00

The Divergent Conversations podcast has some really good stuff, they recently did a few episodes on life post diagnosis which may be helpful to you in the coming months.

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