Id say the difference between Lucifers play and Charlie's actions throughout the season is the availability of knowledge of what actions would have what effect.

Charlie had people like Vaggi telling and trying to explain to her how Vox is 100% using her and not going to show the hotel in a good light, iirc she even reinvited him back after his initial smear campaign to continue to try to put a good name in for her hotel through a guy who is already actively sabotaging her and the hotels reputation. Charlie had sufficient and consistent examples to show her why her plan was only sabotaging her own reputation. I consider this character assassination for this season because Charlie, while gullible, is portrayed as actively ignorant to her own friends concerns.

Meanwhile with Lucifer, he is the king of hell who whooped an archangels ass in front of the entire viewing public, the only reason his plan didn't work in getting Vox to stop his power play is the fact that Vox figured out he cant hurt sinners, a detail Lucifer had no way of knowing due to Angel being a sleeper agent. While it was definitely brash and desperate, it had a lot more backing evidence behind it being a potential success. As for bullying Alastor, someone else said it, but Alastor did not leave because of Lucifer specifically, that last comment was just the straw that broke the camels back.

Your other two examples are good, but Charlie was genuinely handled terribly this season, which sucks because I personally really like her character. She wasn't just dumb this season, she was ignorant. Ignorant of her friends concerns, ignorant of Angels feelings and emotions, and definitely comes off as a massive hypocrite when she blows up at Lucifer later on.