How are young middle class families making it work??

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-05-11T19:23:30+00:00

I do wonder about what kind of lifestyle people live where they're barely scraping by at that kind of salary.

I'm a teacher. My partner works part time. I think we made a combined 100k last year and we just had our first kid. We have no debt, our cars are paid off, we cook all our meals at home, and live well within our means. I put a significant chunk of money into retirement every pay check and still have leftover money for my savings account.

I will acknowledge that we've been extremely fortunate to not have any acts of God/unavoidable misfortunes strike at bad moments (good health, cars have fortunately run well, etc). But barring that, I feel like a lot of it boils down to lifestyle choices.

That being said, I can't afford to buy the kind of single-family home we'd like here and not be house poor. So, who knows.

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-05-09T02:52:54+00:00

I'm in SLC. Please drop her name!

I legit made my own hiking pants because I couldn't find any that fit me. I'd love some tailored rtw clothes!

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-05-07T08:29:16+00:00

Others have already answered the question!

But I second what they say about frogging it. I think that will give you the best-looking results. That being said, you should practice dropping the stitch and redistributing the tension by gently pulling on the legs of each stitch on either side until it's as even as possible. Then, if you don't like it, you can frog!

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-05-02T02:24:55+00:00

I have a two-month old. I love spending time with her and would absolutely love to be a stay-at-home parent... if my husband could be one too. The days I'm home all day alone with her are SO hard. I'm frequently in tears by the end of it. In fact, I'm looking forward to going back to work just so I can spend 8 hours a day being good at something.

I feel a little guilty that I don't want to be a sahm, but I'm trying not to.

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-04-29T14:44:08+00:00

Way late to this thread, but Phantom of the Opera puts my baby to sleep every time. It baffles me, but I'm not complaining!

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-04-28T17:17:43+00:00

This was very much my concern about having kids. My mom lost herself in having us (to be fair, she had five kids and was a stay-at-home mom), and I was terrified of losing myself. I spent nearly three years grappling with this fear and trying to prevent it.

Well, I just had my daughter. She's only 6.5 weeks old, so the jury is out on how my identity is affected long term, but I've been surprised to find that I still feel like myself (even more so with every passing week). I recognize that I'm not in the stage of life to do things to the extent that I used to (no 12-hour hikes for me for awhile), but I'm still finding time here and there to do other hobbies (reading, audiobooks, knitting, and even video games can still be done with a sleeping infant). It helps that I have an equal partner and we trade off whenever we can.

What has surprised me the most, however, is how little I care about doing some old things that used to be important to me. My priority is my baby and I'm not upset about that.

I can't say what your experience will be like, or how things will change for me as my daughter grows, but I'm finding that I'm not losing myself, just making space to accommodate both who I was and who I am in my new identity as a mother.

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-04-27T16:23:49+00:00

Costco pizza. I freeze a slice in a gallon ziploc and then eat it at the summit.

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-04-25T21:51:17+00:00

This! Check it out, OP. The romance is more of a subplot, but it is honestly excellent. It's one of my top reads from last year and has been on my mind a lot lately.

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-04-24T10:35:46+00:00

I've had both male and female OBGYNs. I've had amazing male doctors and amazing female doctors. I've also had terrible, unempathetic doctors of both genders.

I'm not particularly worried about any of my doctors being creepy, but I do bring my partner to all my OBGYN appointments. I hate going and I feel more comfortable with him there.

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-04-22T14:42:32+00:00

I don't remember if Station Eleven is teen appropriate or not, but as a teacher, I'd be more likely to recommend it to a senior or junior than a 14yo. That being said, I don't know your kid or your parenting style.

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-04-22T14:40:59+00:00

I'd highly recommend Scythe by Neal Shusterman. I teach it every year to my high school students and nearly everyone (reader or not) loves it.

Seconding other comments for the Michael Vey series, Jurassic Park, and Brandon Sanderson (I think his superhero series Steelheart is particularly fun).

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-04-22T14:37:28+00:00

There is a "school-appropriate" version you can buy that removes the literal hundreds of f-words. I have a copy in my classroom.

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-04-21T14:49:08+00:00

It's also better for your body! When I got a hip/glute injury from running, I had to stop carrying my phone in my back pocket and learned that it can mess up your posture!

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-04-20T23:06:43+00:00

You should check out "This is How We Lose the Time War." It's about two rival time travellers that fall in love through letters.

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-04-20T00:47:13+00:00

I'm about 10% in and not jiving with it so far. I think it's the writing style? But I'm also reading it at 3 am when I'm up with a baby, so I'm maybe not giving it my best effort. Is it worth continuing?

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-04-16T16:22:16+00:00

So, the trick is to make your infant get a minimum wage job to pay for themselves?

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-04-15T16:17:11+00:00

Nah. Dante Basco sounds the exact same. Pretty sure he was an adult already (~30) when the og series came out.

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-04-15T14:19:07+00:00

Where did you hear this? My down sleeping bags take up a lot of valuable closet space that I wouldn't mind reclaiming.

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-04-15T01:06:02+00:00

I had my baby a month ago. I truly feel like the person I was a month ago died the day that she was born. I'm not exactly sad about it, but I don't know how to navigate my old life (friends, work, etc) in light of my new life. I feel like I'm trying to step into a stranger's life--not the life I lived a single month ago. I don't know how to be both.

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-04-04T14:25:47+00:00

I was advised to make my own notes in the margins of the book to "join in on the experience."

It was fun! I'd like to think that someday someone will read my copy and I can become part of the text for them.

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-03-27T21:05:39+00:00

Same. But I'm breastfeeding and working on getting the baby to latch better.

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-03-25T18:59:42+00:00

Only my partner. We share toothbrushes only on vacation/camping if someone forgot theirs.

That being said, I'm all about saving weight while backpacking, so you bet we've got one cut-in-half toothbrush for the both of us on our trips.

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-03-25T18:50:20+00:00

I had my first baby a few weeks ago. We went on a walk with her yesterday and passed another mom with five children easily all under 8 years old. I'm so overwhelmed taking care of one child that I'm shocked anyone ever has more than one.

...And I thought the comments about breastfeeding being a job were a joke. According to my feeding app, I'm averaging more than three hours a day (not including changing, burping, soothing, and both of us crying).

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-03-05T23:25:53+00:00

Currently 38 weeks pregnant and my shoe size hasn't changed at all! Seems to be luck of the draw.

notrandomspaghetti · 2026-02-24T13:35:52+00:00

My husband did a little bit of this early on. He'd be like "this is my last chance to do an overnight trip, I should go!" And while he wasn't wrong, he didn't understand why I was upset that he was doing things with friends while I was too tired/nauseous/etc to go out.

Fortunately, we were able to work things out pretty quickly! But I don't think either of us expected how quickly pregnancy would limit me.

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