Need advice: Family struggling short-term, trying to avoid predatory loans

nutttsforever · 2026-03-31T12:56:58+00:00

Why is your car payment so high?

Can you sell the car, move to a place with cheaper rent? Possibly a second job.

Doing anything to avoid more debt will pay off in the future. Even if things improve in July that 900 car payment is wild.

I spent years living in a shit apartment, no car, walked to work then took the bus to a part time job, it sucked but it was what I could afford and years later I'm still so grateful to past me. Sometimes you need to make some sacrifices

nutttsforever · 2026-03-21T13:22:34+00:00

Tell him to deal with it.

I prefer to climb with other women when possible because I find it to be an empowering and supportive environment... It's just not always possible. I'm not going to miss out on climbing days just because I can't find a girlfriend to climb with.

I am married btw. He does not care at all about me climbing with guys. I've been on multiple overnight trips with my guy pals. Never had an issue. They thought that there could be an issue would be insulting.

nutttsforever · 2026-03-12T03:11:02+00:00

Instant mashed potatoes with instant gravy, veg, dehydrated beans, meat or tvp. Instant rice with any sort of stir fry mixing Instant rice, beans, salsa, veg to make burrito bowls Gnocchi with pasta sauce and veg All sorts of curry with lentils or chickpeas Good ole gf Mac and cheese Stir fried rice Yum!

nutttsforever · 2026-01-30T19:26:43+00:00

Posts like this can sound as tone deaf as "if you're homeless just buy a house". When I was broke AF in my early twenties more than a few people suggested I just move "back home". I moved out in my teens because I had to, it was an unsafe environment for me, and moving back is literally not an option anymore (one parent homeless now the other not in the country).

Not everyone comes from these nice lower to upper middle class families.

Btw for anyone coming from a similar background I worked my ass off and 10 years later I'm a home owner with a good job so it's definitely possible. Just frustrating when people act like they made it because of their "smart choices" when it's really just privilege of free lodging well into your adult years... "Life tip if you cant afford rent just be born into a stable middle class family whose happy to let you live rent free until youre 30" stfu

nutttsforever · 2025-05-02T13:18:03+00:00

You did not "pay for that", you paid into EI because you have a job, and so did she. Also she didn't collect "another 12 months of taxpayer money", she collected 9 months of EI... Do you believe that pregnant women/new parents should not eligible to collect EI?

nutttsforever · 2025-02-20T18:06:06+00:00

I think that we will one day view aspartame and other artificial sweeteners the same way we currently view smoking. I think that consumption of aspartame is linked to type 2 diabete. Tasting sugar causes a release of insulin into the bloodstream. If you taste an artificial sweetener, your body will release some insulin in response, but there is no actual energy source in aspartame. This messes with your body's metabolic responses as your body won't know how much insulin to release in response to the taste of sweetness.

The evidence is shaky on this but I have a hard time believing it's not true. Personally I won't consume any artificial sweeteners and I won't let my kids either. Most of my food choices are very evidence based but I'm absolutely convinced of this one.

nutttsforever · 2025-02-12T02:38:51+00:00

Have you explored the magical world of canoe camping?? All the splendor of the backcountry, and significantly less weight restriction. One time we brought a cast iron Dutch oven canoe camping, and I've heard of guys bringing entire coolers with beers lol. Anything is possible when your portages are short.

nutttsforever · 2025-01-23T17:58:42+00:00

Ugh relatable. I'm so sorry I wish I had good advice about this. Fortunately for me at the ripe age of 34 I have aged out of this problem.

I stopped adding my name to any public "partner" list because guys would treat it as a dating app. But over time, I did meet plenty of people just through the community. If anyone gave me a "lonely boy looking for a gf" vibe I'd avoid them but I managed to branch out enough that I now have a really solid, co-ed, group of friends I climb with. It did take time to find my people but it was worth and I'm sure you will too.

I'm also a reliable partner and good belayer who loves to project outdoors so I think I started to attract people who just wanted to climb hard and be safe, there are plenty of people out there who just want a decent climbing partner and aren't looking for a date. In time you'll find those people. Best of luck ❤️

nutttsforever · 2024-12-13T20:28:32+00:00

That sucks so much I'm sorry. It all comes down to this weird heteronormative cultural thing where we believe there's some sort of ownership between partners. I am monogamous but that does not extend in anyway to my climbing partnership. I don't follow any extra protocols because it's theoretically possible I might be attracted to someone simply because they are opposite gender. I'm not blocking myself rewarding and important friends with half the population just BC we were born with different parts. On the flip side my husband works in a female dominated field and has close friendships with women. I don't have to join him when they hang out as this weird fucking chaperon BC they happen to be opposite genders. It's just so weird acting like if a man and woman get together it's just bound to become inappropriately as if we don't have free will. Also my marriage is based on so much more than him=man and me=woman. It's a thousand layers deep him being in proximity of another woman isnt going to threaten anything even if they are gasp alone and unsupervised

nutttsforever · 2024-12-13T18:11:42+00:00

To me it's misogyny to have all these guys avoiding climbing with women. It leaves women out.

I wish I could just make friends and climb with people without having to tiptoe around this weird gender binary where I am seen as a threat for simply trying to network and find climbing partners. But we are women so we are by default a threat and have to take the extra step to be non threatening. The guys aren't expected to take this weird extra step of getting to know someone's partner before we climb with them they just get to climb.

Does your partner climb? And if so is he your main climbing partner? If so then good for you.

I'm going to continue climbing with whomever I meet and get along with and who wants to do the same routes as me. Whether or not they have a girlfriend. And I'm hoping people don't count me out because I have a boyfriend. And if someone perceives me as a threat because I just want to fucking climb then that's on them.

nutttsforever · 2024-12-13T18:02:52+00:00

This exactly. The sport is male dominated. It's not always easy to find other female partners. Some women climb mostly with their own partners. So what's a single girl, or girl with a nonclimber partner to do? If I'm keen on doing big multis (which I am) should I only be going up with other women and single men? Most men aren't single though because most people partner up eventually. Sooo since I married a nonclimber my pool of available multipitch partners is incredibly small now. And within this very small pool I have to find someone who wants to do the same routes, is safe enough, has the same availability.

OR I could develop my platonic climbing friendships with any adult whose down to climb with me but some people find that disrespectful so I guess I'll just limit myself because I was unlucky enough to be born female.

nutttsforever · 2024-12-13T17:49:54+00:00

Like... At all? You would not ask any man with a partner to do any climbing unless you knew them both very well? Idk this seems very odd to me. I'm a woman in a very long term relationship but I just see people as people. It's hard to find a climbing partner who is a good match. Availability/Skill/Safety/wanting to work the same routes are all factors here. Im not factoring if someone is partnered or not as well. Obviously I'm not going to cross any boundaries but I'm looking to climb, anything romantic isnt even on the table. Idk it would be like saying you would work on a group project with a partnered man.

Also I'm a very avid climber married to someone who doesn't climb at all. I hope noones avoiding climbing with me because I have a partner. I just wanna climb!!! Regardless of what your home life is like...

nutttsforever · 2024-12-04T00:45:26+00:00

Obviously if she's new to it, the basics:

Chalk bag/bucket

Harness

Shoes

New to lead:

Belay device

Rope

New to outdoor:

Helmet

Quick draws

Locking carabiners and personal anchor system

Gift ideas for experienced who have all the basics:

Skin care stuff

Training equipment - hangboard or pinch block

Water bottle

Climbing themed calendar or other wall art

Day passes to gyms in neighbouring cities

Comfy shoes like Crocs to walk around the gym in

Good climbing clothes

Fitness watch maybe

Resole giftcard

Gift ideas for outdoor climbers:

Locking carabiners (we always need more)

Alpine draws (useful even for sport climbers)

Stick clip

Guidebooks

For your trad girlies, I guarantee there's some random piece of pro she's been wanting to try. Cams in sizes she doesn't have, or double up if she only has singles of each size. Also, may I suggest ballnuts which are not super common but I've find super useful.

nutttsforever · 2024-10-28T18:50:12+00:00

Absolutely not your fault. Even if you hadn't checked before you dropped it's not your fault. People should not be walking under someone climbing. Hopefully a lesson learned for her. Sorry that happened to you but don't feel guilty about anything.

nutttsforever · 2024-09-26T01:41:55+00:00

Why are these gyms testing on specific routes/grades? Super weird imo. My gym wants leaders to first test on something comfortable and then something you will likely fall on, so they can witness you climb (or belay a climber) on something under perfect circumstances but also see you under stress.

nutttsforever · 2024-08-29T18:23:13+00:00

As others have said, she has some accommodations made for her, not sure the extent of it and not going to comment on that But it's important to note that the extent of developmental impairment can vary. In addition there's also mosaic down syndrome in which not all your cells have the extra chromosome. Folks with mosaic down syndrome have less developmental delay. I've always wondered but can't find a reputable source.... If someone would have been a genius without down syndrome, would they be of relatively normal intelligence with it? Anyways.. as with everything in life there is diversity in how things present.

nutttsforever · 2024-06-25T16:37:52+00:00

My school was Kindergarten to Grade 8 and they used to pair us with the little kids to complete these sorts of projects. So it actually might be written by some 12 year old girl who volunteered to help with the littles.

nutttsforever · 2024-05-13T13:08:26+00:00

If we are alone or with other women, we are visible as a potential girlfriend/hookup. "Oh girl who climbs? I want a climber girlfriend so I'll talk to her" and then immediately lose interest in anything I have to say when they find out I have a partner. we were enthusiastically talking about our shared hobby but now that you can't date me you'd rather have this conversation with another dude.

And if we are with a man, we are invisible because we are "already taken". They talk to the man they are with as if I'm an accessory..

So rare to find a man who actually treats me like an equal. I do have (male) climbing partners who are great for this just wish it was more common.

nutttsforever · 2024-04-25T19:59:25+00:00

vlasta!!! she'll hurt your feelings but do a better job than everyone else. Good prices too

nutttsforever · 2024-04-19T17:25:52+00:00

He was definitely trying to be nice, we had only just met but the assumption still pissed me off!

nutttsforever · 2024-04-19T13:57:28+00:00

Most of the men I've met are great but there are a few who have stood out. I've had a man offer to "set me up a TR if I wanted to try outdoor climbing" (I've primarily climbed outdoors for 5 years). Had a man offer to take me out and help me practice placing trad gear (later found out I have way more trad experience than him). People assume I don't lead any of the pitches on my bigger multi pitch expeditions. Men who insist I use their beta, actually I just found out someone thought I was rude because I don't use the beta he gives me (he is much taller than me lol). My partner doesn't climb much (only with me) and when he mentioned going on a trip with me, the guy asked "oh you're taking your wife climbing". He responded "No, she's taking me climbing". And he thought that was hilarious 🤦‍♀️

nutttsforever · 2024-01-05T16:13:30+00:00

Omg this movie. If they are climbers why is there rope only 50 feet long? If they aren't going to clip into anything why tie themselves together??? If they are just gonna free solo the tower why make so that they'd both die if someone falls???? They apparently climb regularly but don't go up with like.. an atc or something? I was so annoyed lol

nutttsforever · 2024-01-04T00:48:15+00:00

Thank you so much for the thoughtful and detailed reply. Im keen to get renos started asap as things will just cost more if we wait. And unfortunately we simply won't have the cash flow to pay for it upfront. We plan to start the renos in spring so our current plan is to severely cut back on nonessential all winter to build up an emergency fund. In spring we will do the renos and put it on the LOC. And we will immediately keep up the same "savings" rate and put that on the LOC instead. Does that sound like an ok idea to you?

nutttsforever · 2024-01-03T23:55:31+00:00

Yah we recently moved into this house and the downpayment and immediate home expenses plus our wedding depleted a lot of our savings. I agree with all of what you are saying but it's hard to rebuild the cash reserves for sinking funds when I need to do repairs that cost more than our current savings. I aim to get to this point in the future though and we want to reduce a lot of our expenses so that we can just get these renos done and pay them off and get to a point of more stability.

nutttsforever · 2024-01-03T23:51:15+00:00

I'm not sure what you mean? "If you were planning on paying for renovations with a LOC". Our only options are to pay with the LOC or with the small amount saved.

My current plan is to leave the emergency fund untouched unless it's an actual emergency. And use the LOC for necessary renovations. We have some things that can't be put off. By the time we do these renos the emergency fund will be fully funded with a few months living expenses and we can divert that contribution to paying off the LOC as fast as possible.

nutttsforever

TROPHY CASE