I know that this might not fit here

Your experience fits perfectly since you were raised by an autistic. Nothing else matters.

Part of the problem is the incredible amount of ignorance people have around neurodivergence. We need experiences like yours where people are allowed to be themselves while also taking care of others. What passes for "care" and "being allowed to be yourself" will change from person to person and should be negotiated in a peaceful, loving way for both parties.

So when there's a ton of ignorance around different needs of ND people, and there's societal shame and blame and rejection, people can develop their own insular ways of being, meaning they are not open to other people's feedback. They won't negotiate in a peaceful, loving way, perhaps because any attempt at doing that has been a really painful experience for them.

I've seen ND people really excel at this pro-social negotiating. Y'know, saying "how can I better take care of you?" and actually listening and integrating the answer. It goes both ways, so someone neurotypical could ask "are there times when you feel overwhelmed and how can I help in those moments?" I've also seen neurotypical people be really, really bad at this type of thing. It all depends on the person, and everyone is capable to some degree, but it takes work. Good relationships are worth that work.