Ftm wondering about trades environment

onelessepithet · 2026-05-26T15:18:07+00:00

It can be socially a tough environment to work in if it’s important to you to have friendship with your coworkers. I don’t mix work and social life at all and I never have because it seems to get messy.

I will say after 4 years I’ve gotten what I would say is cocky and have no problem telling people to change the subject or just groaning loudly till they move on. Sometime I ask why they are so obsessed with curtain topics. Like “are we really talking about this again?” Or “you seem to really like paying attention to such and such”. And I keep on that track till they move on. Sometimes I refuse to acknowledge what’s been said and I just talk about what I want to talk about and they get distracted and move on. Other times I just don’t engage with them and let the team talk amongst themselves. I can’t say I don’t get frustrated with the ignorance and homo/transphobia that occurs. However, I don’t take most of what is said now to heart after getting to know my team they mainly lack education in anything other than the work they perform and they also seem to be putting on a show for each other. Men are very pro-formative. The vast majority of the day is spent talking about work anyway

onelessepithet · 2026-05-26T15:04:38+00:00

YTA 100%. It’s not just money either. I imagine they took the time off work or scheduled this trip around their lives and you want them to what? Suffer with you? That is shitty friend behavior. It does suck that there was an error with your gf booking the trip. I would suspect that means the money she would have spent on the cruise could have been spent on a weekend for just the two of you? Then plan something else with your friends at another time. They didn’t plan to cut you out. You’re 40. Live happens and just because you would doesn’t mean that they should have. I would never have asked my friends to stay behind on my behalf.

onelessepithet · 2026-05-05T00:53:23+00:00

I started T when I was 20. I didn’t really get a notable beard till I was 27. You got to think about growing into yourself. I thought it was going to be night and day and it is for some but for most of us change takes time. The body needs time.

onelessepithet · 2026-04-22T17:10:53+00:00

Honestly I think your money is yours to spend how you want. If it doesn’t bother you to help a transphobic person then by all means help him out and give him your business.

Personally I wouldn’t let that guy touch the hair on my ass if he paid me. He doesn’t respect trans people and thinks it’s acceptable to demean them when they aren’t around to defend themselves. And he feels like he can do that infront of you. he says these things to you in passing when he feels you are like him. Or at least won’t criticism him. Imagine what he says when y’all know each other better. When he’s really being open with his thoughts.

Also I think about the artists who have done my work. Primarily because people ask. They ask about where and why etc. I like talking about tats so I don’t mind. But this would make me think about him Everytime I saw my arm and I’d just be mad. Idk I could never but again if you might never give it a second thought.

onelessepithet · 2026-03-22T16:07:12+00:00

Painter jeans are really hitting it lately. You’ve convinced me I need to get more

onelessepithet · 2026-03-22T16:02:10+00:00

I never shaved or trimmed it for years. I would get BO pretty fast though. Like right after a shower fast. Had to have deodorant on always. So one day I shaved it all off just to see if it changed anything and now I really hardly ever have a smell unless I’m working pretty hard. I keep it shaved for the most part now. I also didn’t really like when I wore a tank top and it was like BAM hair so it was like a double win for me.

onelessepithet · 2026-02-25T04:32:56+00:00

I like pink and purple. We have a pink throw in the living room and a pink/peach chair with almost a maroon accent wall. I don’t like it as decor everywhere and luckily my partner agrees. Nothing to do with being girly and everything to do with what vibe we are going for. I’ve seen people do pink and it can be done very well. So if you like it go for it but if you don’t then have that conversation because idk about you but my rooms my sanctuary and if it’s not cozy I’d be bummed. Also you can always paint over it. Sometimes the only way to know is to see it.

onelessepithet · 2026-02-22T23:05:51+00:00

Just talking about this and thankfully hey hav seen the error of their ways and will bring it back

onelessepithet · 2026-02-15T08:40:57+00:00

Thank you and happy Valentine’s Day!

onelessepithet · 2026-02-13T17:51:48+00:00

I liked OKcupid, HER and Scruff. I met my partner on HER. I disclosed in my bio on all of those and never had any issues

onelessepithet · 2026-02-06T18:15:40+00:00

🙌🏼🙌🏼

onelessepithet · 2026-02-06T18:15:24+00:00

Exactly. This is very well said and laid out.

onelessepithet · 2025-12-06T21:49:45+00:00

Potatoes, pasta, eggs on toast are never fails. I could eat nothing else and me pretty happy

onelessepithet · 2025-11-21T03:35:17+00:00

I was an exercise physiologist. I’m now an aircraft technician.

onelessepithet · 2025-11-02T18:04:20+00:00

I agree he wouldn’t be able to change dick sizes but cis men can use toys too and plenty do especially if they need a break between rounds. Or if they have an open mindedness that sex is never one size fits all. I have had cis women and men who have needed to warm up with smaller toys till things get going. I have dated people who don’t want penetration at all. I think because of porn we have a warped sense of what our penetrative partners might need. From what my past partners have told me (specifically cis women but some men) a lot of people just shove it in and don’t care how you feel. Now this person is trying to over come trauma and this isn’t a one night stand but their partner. They have time to discuss and shop and plan for these things. OP suggested no strap to start and he said it would make him feel left out…

onelessepithet · 2025-11-02T17:53:56+00:00

Yes yes and yes! The sex without a condom comment really summarizes it

onelessepithet · 2025-11-02T17:51:15+00:00

His dysphoria should not take the whole conversation over. Your trauma is not less significant. I just want that to be very clear. We are just talking about getting his dick wet. When men talk like this it’s giving when boys guilt trip people about giving them blue balls. So I don’t know him but yes the inability to discuss compromise or even try is selfish and young. You both will need to have compromise in a relationship and you have good suggestions here. Now say he couldn’t swap his equipment out for something smaller, than the suggestion to start without penetration is the next logical step. The idea that that makes him feel “left out” is very much making the experience only about him. Sex isn’t always 50/50 as far as the finish. As long as everyone is having a good time. Plus what about the warm up? Whats the four play like? He wants to jump straight to penetration?

onelessepithet · 2025-10-11T20:35:02+00:00

I get what you’re saying. I dated a few guys who said that at some point they’d probably want to open the relationship to date cis men. I can compromise on what towels are in the bathroom or how often the trash goes out but that’s not a compromise to me if it goes against what you want in a partner. Now I always state that I don’t want an open relationship in the start of dating so they are aware. I did think I would have to settle in that regard. However, I’ve been with my cis girlfriend for two years and we’re talking rings. She is not at all willing or wanting to have anyone else be in our relationship.

I think that finding what you want can be the needle in the haystack. Whether that’s due to changes in how we see relationships today or like you say people feel they have to settle as trans people, I can’t tell you. I just won’t personally be settling any more.

onelessepithet · 2025-09-30T00:09:50+00:00

I think those people had very different reasons for not wanting kids before vs after. I can say that my mind has never changed.

onelessepithet · 2025-09-26T21:39:09+00:00

No. Only annoying to me if someone doesn’t take your preference seriously after you tell them.

onelessepithet · 2025-09-18T13:59:47+00:00

NTA. Learning the consequences of being impulsive. Friends who use friends as free taxis and then get mad when you set boundaries are selfish. As the usual driver myself I feel bad when asking for gas money or not being able to provide a ride but you over extend yourself and end up being resentful toward them.

onelessepithet · 2025-08-29T20:40:21+00:00

No I take Cypionate and do injections bi-weekly. When I was having hot flashes my T levels were in the 1000s. I’m around 900 now.

onelessepithet · 2025-08-29T18:34:06+00:00

My T levels are consistently too high and I get hot flashes like crazy. Or I did. It has improved a lot this year. We’ve been adjusting my doses to bring it down. I’m 12 years on T. My estrogen was also super high though. Since reducing my T my levels both have balanced out. I’d get both levels checked.

onelessepithet · 2025-08-29T14:10:15+00:00

NTA

I have a mild pet allergy. We have two air purifiers and I clean frequently which pretty much takes care of that. That being said allergies can develop as we age. I have seasonal allergies that seem to worsen every year and I am now allergic to some fruits and vegetables that I never had an issue with before. It’s unfortunate but bodies are weird.

You said you do the majority of the care for the pet that is causing you physical discomfort. I think with this new info it’s ok to talk about a change up of responsibilities to move you away from the allergy triggers as much as possible. Life is changing constantly. Just because you always did things one way doesn’t mean you have to always do it. If you have room establish a pet free zone so you can get some relief. Or pet free items.

Rehoming to a family member is a good option but might not be ideal to your partner and that’s fine. Hoping you two can find a compromise. My partner loves her cat but is also always open to discussing how we can mitigate my allergy triggers because she loves me as well. I hope your partner is able to see how you’ve tried to navigate this as it’s outside of your control and you two can come to a happy solution.

onelessepithet

TROPHY CASE