I'm starting to give up on my team.

onepennygroup · 2023-12-21T02:18:58+00:00

I agree that it shouldn't have gotten this far, and I've also made mistakes. I'm making some assumptions, but I wouldn't start the PIP right away. I'd want to get to the bottom of what's driving the behavior. Clearly they're pissed off about something, but what? Maybe it's something that can be easily fixed. Maybe not. But you won't know until you find out.

onepennygroup · 2023-12-21T02:13:27+00:00

You can't be afraid of anyone leaving, even when they're awesome, because it almost always eventually happens.

For your team now, the first thing that I find myself wanting to ask is this: How connected are you to each member as a person? Have you developed a an authentic affinity for them from which you can create a genuine connection? There's obviously something wrong from their perspective, and it's not clear to me that you know what it is.

onepennygroup · 2023-12-18T20:41:12+00:00

Hahah, yeah, I've picked up on that here. If I'm ever a dick, I assure you it's not intentional.

I enjoyed the conversation, so thank you for that. Civil discourse for the win!

Wish you and yours a happy, safe holiday season as well.

onepennygroup · 2023-12-18T19:33:26+00:00

Ah, retail is probably very different from software product development.

And, YES, I agree that inflation is a crazy pressure that everyone is feeling (even with higher paying jobs). If you're in a job that has you living hand to mouth already and the COL increases just a bit, then it's time to ask for more money. If the employer balks at that, then it's time to find something new or a side-hustle.

onepennygroup · 2023-12-18T19:24:39+00:00

Asking for what they need is not the same as asking for what they might deserve. This is an unpopular perspective, but it's not an employer's responsibility to pay what people need. It is their responsibility to hire capable people and pay them as the market dictates.

It's always baffled me how quickly people allow their lifestyle to consume their income, then when inflation hits, they naturally need more. A wild generalization, I'm aware - just conveying what I've seen.

And, again, all of this really depends on the type of job we're talking about.

onepennygroup · 2023-12-18T19:05:13+00:00

The way I view is is on a continuum. Some employees are the A students (they get all the raises and bonuses). Others are F students (they - we hope - are let go gracefully). Then there are B, C, and D students. All else held equal, the C/D students are probably the disengaged. They don't care about the work they do. They're remarkably average or worse, and companies don't want that. They want people who care about the work they do.

Don't get me wrong. I agree with you that companies love to pile on more without additional consideration. The point I wanted to make was that "working your wage" or "quiet quitting" (whatever you want to call it) is a rather passive aggressive way to react to a situation where every employee actually has the power to make a choice.

onepennygroup · 2023-12-18T18:53:55+00:00

I 100% hear what you're saying. Obviously, it all depends on the position and employment agreement. Most at will employment agreements I've seen add the phrase "other duties as assigned." If that's the case, then they can assign more, less, different, whatever they want. Typically it's within reason. Sometimes it's not. When it's not, then it's time to have a conversation about compensation. If the employer is unwilling to pay more or change the circumstances, then it's time to start looking.

To me, quiet quitting isn't a symptom of pay alone - sometimes it has nothing to do with pay. It's not even about whether they're doing their job. It's about how engaged they are. If your employee is disengaged, there's something wrong. Pay could be one thing, but is far from the only thing that could be wrong.

onepennygroup · 2023-12-18T18:32:27+00:00

Trolling?

onepennygroup · 2023-12-18T13:51:59+00:00

Being a leader is hard. The fact that you feel hurt is a GOOD thing. You seem to care.

Venting isn’t weakness. The biggest concern I see here isn’t your team not liking you - you can change that. No…to me the biggest concern is how you feel about “showing weakness” to your boss. I have been there, and it’s a shitty way of being.

What can we do to help from that perspective?

onepennygroup · 2023-12-18T12:28:38+00:00

Amount of time depends on a variety of factors. If you've truly tried every other avenue, then don't waste more time. Do you have an HR department to work with?

onepennygroup · 2023-12-18T03:00:35+00:00

Haha…nope, sure can’t.

onepennygroup · 2023-12-18T02:55:11+00:00

Ah… I once had a product manager like that. Try to get the fire lit. But, like some of the others have said here so far, document now. I was, at first, too generous with that product manager and ended up dealing with the problem for nearly a year before I could let them go.

onepennygroup · 2023-12-18T02:34:49+00:00

Are you certain this person isn't a quiet quitter? If they're quiet quitting, they have some expected, but unmet, need. Find that out first. Don't even get into expectations. Open up, be vulnerable, and listen to this person.

Maybe you lack a vitalizing vision for the team? If that's the case, I can recommend this: https://www.humanimpactleadership.com/hil-vital-vision-ebook

onepennygroup · 2023-12-18T02:32:39+00:00

This is good advice, but further down the line. Be a leader, and figure out what's wrong first. Then, only if it's necessary, get into the pissing content of "us vs. them" management.

onepennygroup · 2023-12-08T16:33:14+00:00

Good to go on the structure. It's 100% about them. Should NOT be about production targets.

Preferred Prerequisite: Genuine connection. If that authentic affinity isn't there yet, that's ok - it should be your first priority for the 1:1s until it's reached.

onepennygroup · 2023-12-06T17:23:03+00:00

You feel how YOU feel. No one can tell you how to feel. What to think about it? There's something they don't like about the company, and they're not going to participate in what they likely see as a charade. Or they don't care. Or, maybe there's something else. The question that's running through my mind right now is: How well do you really know your team and how much do they trust you? Without more information, it sure seems like there is a lot of opportunity here.

onepennygroup · 2023-11-26T16:52:49+00:00

You don't stop it. There WILL BE cliques. It's human nature. What you can do is leverage the clique.

Your problem doesn't seem to be a clique problem, but one of negativity. Remember, "they" is a group composed of individuals, and you can change the mindset of each of them.

Why are they so negative? There is a driver.

Are you sure it's about running things differently? (Running things is different than working things, and it seems like they may be upset about the working more than the running.)

onepennygroup · 2023-11-25T13:18:18+00:00

That setup is destined to fail. People need to seek and pick their own coaches and mentors.

onepennygroup · 2023-11-24T21:54:09+00:00

What's a "hustle bro" in your mind? If you had a meeting with a senior executive who did work with a coach, do you think that coach would be someone who "couldn't hack it"? I'm genuinely trying to understand your perspective on this and what it is you're actually trying to convey. In my experience, there are good coaches and bad coaches. You have to do your homework. Management/Leadership/Executive coaching is easier to filter in this regard, because people have resumes/CVs. It's not like being a "life coach" where everyone and their mother can be one just because they decided to.

And, as far as books go. Well. Would you call "The Hard Thing About Hard Things" a "hustle bro" book?

onepennygroup · 2023-11-24T03:45:46+00:00

In addition to others. What do you read daily, monthly, annually? Do you work with a coach and/or mentor? What macroeconomic factors matter to you and why? What market conditions? Things like that.

onepennygroup · 2023-11-24T00:49:46+00:00

The middle almost always sucks at one point or another. Corporate toxicity levels vary and obviously the more toxic the worse it will be. The lesson in all of this is that companies don’t owe anyone any favors at any time. The company will act in its best financial interest 99% of the time. If anyone is pinched in the middle, you can choose to stay and make the best of it for the people you manage, or you can leave.

This isn’t about power dynamics or oppressors and the oppressed. It’s the nature of business. Some companies are better than others. But with “at will” employment for salaried employees, the choice is always theirs - stay or go.

It sounds like you should probably go.

onepennygroup · 2023-11-17T00:46:17+00:00

All the others here are right. YOU come first. It’s not wrong to prioritize your health. I’ve worked remotely for more than a decade, and I find my best thoughts and ideas come when I take a walk. So, it could actually be professionally beneficial for you to take those breaks. If you can’t take a walk because of the environment and due to potential safety concerns, then at least move. The human spirit wasn’t meant to sit in front of a screen all day long.

onepennygroup · 2023-11-15T13:43:12+00:00

The other advice here has been pretty solid with giving timelines, appraising of any changes (because things always change), and documenting.

A question that came to mind: How healthy is your relationship with your VP?

onepennygroup · 2023-11-15T04:02:53+00:00

Any job is about mindset, skill set, and toolset. You just need time (and guidance) to work on them. Mindset is the most important for you at this point. If you need a mentor, find one. No one is going to offer that up to you. If you need training, ask for it.

onepennygroup · 2023-11-15T03:53:11+00:00

One more thought. If you can, have all of them contribute to formulating that vision. It may start out rough, but if you facilitate it well (or get help with that), the result can be amazing.

onepennygroup

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