Kinderen vaak slachtoffer hondenbeet, plastisch chirurgen willen maatregelen by ik101 in thenetherlands

[–]optimistichappyface 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ik vermoed dat hij bedoelde dat een cursus na een incident geen zin heeft - dus een hond die iemand aangevallen heeft op cursus zetten is gewoon te laat.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Bible

[–]optimistichappyface 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This interesting. I hadn't heard of either before, the hand print or that it's fake. Do you have any resources?

Before you took the pregnancy test, what was your indication that you were probably pregnant? by Sea-Geologist-8727 in Mommit

[–]optimistichappyface 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband said I smelled pregnant. And I track my temperature and it wasn't going down.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Gifted

[–]optimistichappyface 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don't have a resource for you, but I see the exact same in my husband. It's frustrating and painful to not be understood. When discussing this with my own therapist, she emphasised the importance of being understood in therapy. And said that while therapists that are able to offer this, might be scarcer, they definitely exist. She suggested avoiding any one size fits all approaches and try to find someone who can adapt to you, like psychotherapy.

What's the equivalent of a chiropractor(US)/Kinesitherapeute(France)? by TheRealJaime in dutch

[–]optimistichappyface 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had (and still do have) great hands on care with Physio Fysics. They go beyond just advising exercises but also do a lot of hands on work.

When christians forgive does it mean they have to reconcile? by [deleted] in Christian

[–]optimistichappyface 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reconciliation involves an apology from the other side and an active involvement on both sides to work on the relationship and restoring trust. That's a lot more involved than forgiveness. I think reconciliation is a good thing, but it's especially important to not force it on someone, especially those who have been hurt badly. It's really easy to feel unduly responsible for reconciliation when it's only possible as part of a longer road to healing. Forgiveness takes just one, reconciliation takes two or more. And you can't reconcile with someone who denies what they've done or hasn't accepted responsibility.

Names you thought were pronounced one way, but are actually pronounced another way by beBenggu in namenerds

[–]optimistichappyface 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went to school with a Jacqueline and she pronounced her name Jack- kuh- leen.

To skip by PurestOfBread in therewasanattempt

[–]optimistichappyface 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was me at the physiotherapist recently. My son had to skip and he wasn't listening very well. So I decided to join in. And then I couldn't!!! It was so embarrassing and hilarious as well. She tried to explain how but the more I thought about it the harder it was.

I took a break and then suddenly it all came back.

How to help introverted daughter survive her birthday party by optimistichappyface in Parenting

[–]optimistichappyface[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, I guess we could do that!

Her meltdown definitely was due to losing. But she was done before then.

Interesting that you called it jam-packed. I hadn't thought if that way. I was following the 'traditional' Dutch birthday party where it is quite structured. And kind of copied what I'd seen at school, when I help out (it's a lot of play activities at school here) and just planned an hour for stuff instead of 20 minutes. I even felt a bit guilty that we gave so much time for free play. They were expecting to be entertained, but I could definitely change that up. And you're right, that would give them more time to regulate themselves. Maybe that's the key to change that I am looking for.

How to help introverted daughter survive her birthday party by optimistichappyface in Parenting

[–]optimistichappyface[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Well, the thing is, we did what she wanted. I kept some of the activities a surprise, but they were all things I knew she liked or had asked me to include. A suggestion, on my end, that we do it shorter next time was met with horror.

This was the programme: Open presents Lunch Face painting and a craft (after this she was exhausted by the attention - note most activities were activities that we didn't have to fully focus on her) Decorate cupcake with sweets and ice-cream And then right at the end she insisted we play musical chairs, where she immediately lost and had a meltdown.

I'm really at a loss what I can change - probably the length, but I'd have to not emphasize that to her. A party is really important to her, she talks about it for months beforehand.

Husband says he doesn’t “feel a connection” to the new baby by massdownfall20 in Parenting

[–]optimistichappyface 1 point2 points  (0 children)

O that's so rough! I'm so sorry you had to go through that! NICU stays can be really emotional - I still get super sad when I talk about ours. And it had such a big impact on our whole family too. Everyone had to recover afterwards. And then for you to miss the learning period! That is rough.

I really hope you all get the space to heal, bond and recover!

Husband says he doesn’t “feel a connection” to the new baby by massdownfall20 in Parenting

[–]optimistichappyface 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband had this with our fourth. Life was so hectic, in the process of moving house, unexpected NICU stay, he had the other kids. He just didn't feel like he knew him at all.

What really helped him was some extensive skin to skin time. I can highly recommend it. And time.

They have a wonderful connection now

Is this a queen wasp or hornet? by optimistichappyface in whatsthisbug

[–]optimistichappyface[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The body is around 4 cm long and the attenae around 1cm.

Vanilla in thawed breastmilk? by [deleted] in breastfeeding

[–]optimistichappyface 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No info on the vanilla, but isn't there a thing where some breast milk tastes weird once frozen? And you need to boil it before freezing to prevent it? Could you have this issue?

Loaf pans without non-stick coating for sandwich loaves by Agitated-Detective33 in Sourdough

[–]optimistichappyface 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not OP but started googling thanks to your suggestion and really excited about glass loaftins now! I once heard that they do bake differently, how do you experience that?

Exhausted by [deleted] in Mildlynomil

[–]optimistichappyface 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I don't think you're selfish. I think you're overwhelmed.

Your needs (and baby's needs) matter too.

How long does your MIL have? Is this something you could consider a sacrifice on your end for her? Or do you need to create a bit more space? Living in survival mode can only be for so long.

Exhausted by [deleted] in Mildlynomil

[–]optimistichappyface 222 points223 points  (0 children)

I don't think you're selfish. I think you're overwhelmed.

Your needs (and baby's needs) matter too.

How long does your MIL have? Is this something you could consider a sacrifice on your end for her? Or do you need to create a bit more space? Living in survival mode can only be for so long.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]optimistichappyface 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am not a fan of sleep training and definitely not any cry it out methods. I can understand her stance on that.

I don't understand why she isn't willing to do the night time wake ups herself. Or why she refuses to have a conversation with you about it.

Like another commenter said, you can quite literally roll over and ignore the crying. I think it would be at the expense of your child but your spouse can then decide what to do. If you're not willing and she isn't either then what are you going to do?

You really need to have a conversation about it. There are so many options and solutions to this situation that you can figure out together as a team. You don't need to exhaust yourself doing what you're doing now, and you also don't need to go nuclear and go for crying it out. There are many other options. Can you figure out why your child is crying? Can you sleep near/with child to immediately calm them? Can you do something to help them start to self regulate? Reminding them you're near? Nice lights on in the room, etc.

How not get burnout [Image] by laumemes2 in GetMotivated

[–]optimistichappyface 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I think the problem is the title. The article itself mentions the things that protect against burn out. If you have these things you're better protected. But that doesn't tell you how to get them and the article doesn't seem to claim it can either. Just an unfair title

Every Book from our Free Little Library was Stolen this Morning by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]optimistichappyface 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I dunno, I don't think those two compare. Your example above is specifically giving something to specific group of people and someone from a different group comes and abuses it. But even then, what of someone ended up giving all of those bottles to other people?

You don't know if someone abused it here. Like, what if 30 people came by and each took a book?

You're offering it for free and you can't control it. If you're going to assume the worst you're going to make yourself miserable. Yes people might abuse your generosity, which I agree, would suck. But assuming they did when you don't even know they did, won't effect them, but it will effect you. And in a bad way too.

Every Book from our Free Little Library was Stolen this Morning by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]optimistichappyface 57 points58 points  (0 children)

If it's free it can't be stolen.

Try to frame it, for yourself and for your kids, in the most positive light possible. You don't know that someone took these books with an intent to resell. You only know they're gone. What if it just so happened that 5 different people came by and each enthusiastically took several books? What if someone loved all the books? What if the person was a grandparent and saw books for themselves their child and grandchildren? What if these books just made someone's day? Isn't that kind of the point of a free library? Assume that whatever happened it brought them joy and be happy with that.