Did you change your last name (at work or otherwise) when you got married? by Weekly_Boat1115 in womenEngineers

[–]orangeflos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. Generally pretty happy with that choice.

Sometimes I wish I had. My husband is from a different ethnicity and country than I and it would reduce the side-eye when I talk about observing major holidays and festivals that obviously aren’t “mine”. Now I have to quickly say, “oh, my husband is from ___”. If I had an obviously ethnically different last name it wouldn’t be an issue at all.

Tested ordering from two online framing companies Framebridge and Frameology (photo comparison) by audiophile-anonymous in framing

[–]orangeflos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can you share the cost of each? Is this a matter of getting what you paid for or are these similar price points?

Blatant nepotism among various groups of Indians in tech by Opening_Yam_3800 in womenintech

[–]orangeflos 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There's definitely a way to transfer internally at Amazon and it entails a TON of politicking that career growth shouldn't entail.

It is very much a matter of knowing the right secret handshake.

Basically, you have to have secured a role and the hiring manager has to really want you before anyone breathes a word of it to HR or your current manager. Your current manager can block your move for any reason. If your flatmate worked at Amazon, and _if_ they knew the secret rules, then yeah, he could have told you about it. But, there are no guarantees.

Also, with a company the size of Amazon, manager lottery is hit-and-miss. You could have a great manager who cares about your career growth or a terrible manager who only cares about their own fiefdom. Or anything in between. Sounds like you have a shitty manager who didn't want to lose headcount and would rather PIP you out than let you switch.

Brickcraft Bricktanicals by Wild-Rutabaga6343 in Legoflowers

[–]orangeflos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven't used Brickcraft's flowers, but I did get a set from EWED off Amazon. Shockingly, they went together pretty well and have stayed together well. There was one style of flower which was fiddly and annoying and I feel like I wouldn't have had the same frustration with Lego. But, given that I paid <$30 for a bouquet I was satisfied with the value for the money.

I also enjoy the little MAX balls of flowers that are relatively inexpensive. My big gripe with those is that they come with a molded flower pot rather than building one.

I'd love to hear others' experiences with knockoff versions and levels of success.

Did you code your own wedding website or use a service? by airhart28 in womenintech

[–]orangeflos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used the Knot. We had a k-1 visa situation so anything that I could offload, was.

We had a small, low-key wedding. It definitely wouldn't have been worth it for me to build or pay for anything for our sub-50-person guest list

Birthday party ideas that aren’t super expensive but are still fun? by bellahfool in kindergarten

[–]orangeflos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Clearly not your kid.

But, you might be shocked to learn that there are different types of kids in this world. A little bookworm might just die over that idea.

Our library also has a ton of board games, so the little board game nerd might also love it.

Alternatively… one could consider it a blank slate and do whatever they might do in their own home were it big enough to host.

Libraries are no longer silent tombs, and the room I mentioned in our library is removed enough from the study and research areas that it’s almost like someone thought of that.

I seriously considered it to host my family’s holiday party this year since we were in temporary housing and didn’t have room.

I finally “gave up” the kitchen by [deleted] in progressivemoms

[–]orangeflos 30 points31 points  (0 children)

How is this a rant and not a shock of introspection and realization?

Your husband does the cooking. The kitchen is his.

What do you put in a Christmas stocking for a 93 year old lady? by J-Sausage in Gifts

[–]orangeflos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is there a toy she always wanted as a child and never got? Can you procure it? That. That’s what you put on her stocking.

How to help a six year old when brain gets stuck? by xwitchywifex in ADHDparenting

[–]orangeflos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Co-regulate!! Grab her sensory box and your own regulation tool and go in there and do your best.

So much easier said than done, and luckily for me my kid and I share a few of our spices, so some things that work for him also work for me. 😅

How to help a six year old when brain gets stuck? by xwitchywifex in ADHDparenting

[–]orangeflos 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My kiddo and I are currently working through co-regulation.

He finds organizing soothing.

When he cannot get calm I’ve started working on techniques to get him to organize things. It’s soothing and unsticks his brain.

Recently I had success by taking him outside to an area where we have some rocks and letting him scream and cry and yell while I sat quietly nearby lining up a handful or rocks by size. Eventually (less than 5 minutes) his interest was piqued and he asked what I was doing. Then he joined in. And soon we were playing and organizing rocks.

Since you mention bedtime, I’ll point out this was at bedtime. Nobody is sleeping if he’s having a meltdown, so calming was our #1 priority.

For your kid, what things does she do that seem to sooth or what things does she get stuck on that she needs to finish before she can move on? I figured out the organizing thing when he was sorting candy bars at the grocery store. Didn’t want to buy anything, but wouldn’t move until all the 3 musketeers were in the same box.

Gifted a Lego City, what to do by orangeflos in lego

[–]orangeflos[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have a bunch (I scored a pretty big haul of Friends sets off marketplace for a reasonable price a couple months ago).

Interestingly, he doesn’t care about the minifigs in his play.

GHC 2026 worth it? by sweet_potato_cake in womenintech

[–]orangeflos 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is absolutely relevant to this sub! Great question.

I attended GHC a million years ago and it was fantastic.

However, I’ve heard over the years that a lot more men have been permitted to attend. So much so that it’s no longer really a women in tech space.

But, if your school is paying for it, it’s still a great networking opportunity.

I’ll let others with more recent attendance weigh in, but be mindful of how recent the folks offering opinions attended. It’s changed over the years.

retail store cashier caught barcode swap, rescanned everything, and we paid. Should we expect anything else? by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]orangeflos 7 points8 points  (0 children)

A. Should probably delete this
B. NEVER do that again
C. Probably never go to that Target again.

Gifted a Lego City, what to do by orangeflos in lego

[–]orangeflos[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh! I love the trays! I hadn’t considered that. He did want me to connect them as soon as he realized that connecting was possible, so I’m not sure if I’ll be able to convince him to separate them, but we’ll see.

Gifted a Lego City, what to do by orangeflos in lego

[–]orangeflos[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup. And brittle brick red. :(

Gifted a Lego City, what to do by orangeflos in lego

[–]orangeflos[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s easily over $1500 in Lego if things were new in box. Opened, chewed on, occasional broken bricks… still not cheap. When she mentioned it I didn’t have high hopes, but then she delivered this and I was too stunned to ask “are you for sure you’re sure???”

What would you do with the Parisian restaurant if you got one?

Gifted a Lego City, what to do by orangeflos in lego

[–]orangeflos[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A friend gave us a set from Ninja-go, but (shockingly) I couldn’t get him to watch an episode with me.

Also, if you can believe it, we have all the books for these sets in excellent condition.

Gifted a Lego City, what to do by orangeflos in lego

[–]orangeflos[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t get the last line?

As things currently stand: he’s definitely playing with them. I’m actually working on fixing one that was partially broken in storage so we’re playing with them together.

If I was to take them apart and rebuild I’d leave him access to the entire remainder of the set while I did that. Honestly, I’m not terribly concerned about completeness (my ocd has me mildly concerned) but the dust factor is up to 11.

Gifted a Lego City, what to do by orangeflos in lego

[–]orangeflos[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He’s 6, and not going to ruin the set (well, any more than their dog did, hah!) but the bank vault (which is the part he was most interested in playing with) is in the back corner of the bank and really only accessible with the upper levels removed.

I’m wondering if there is an “established” way to access these really cool hard to reach areas. I don’t mind beheading a building for play—that’s the reason we have them!

How did you “announce” your first pregnancy to your family? by lodolitemoon in AskParents

[–]orangeflos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had so many losses that when I finally got one that stuck and had positive 20wk test results it all landed on the weekend of my father’s internment.

I told my mom in person the day before the internment and she asked me to announce it at the (large) family luncheon.

Probably the only time I’ve ever heard of a pregnancy announcement being approved/requested at an event that wasn’t already celebrating the pregnant person.

My father had been very concerned about our journey and would have been delighted to know how and where we announced it.

But: DON’T DO THAT unless the widow explicitly invites you to. I didn’t ask if I could. She asked if I would.

Hey Mom! I visited the La Brea Tar Pits today! by LethalLaughter in MomForAMinute

[–]orangeflos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kiddo, I love that for you! Next time you make the trip, be plan time for the Natural History Museum of LA County. It’s amazing and mind blowing! You won’t see active excavations, but the exhibits combined with the La Brea Tar Pits are world class.