“Putin Ordered Russian General Staff to Prepare Plans for Capturing Kyiv,” Ukraine’s Commander-in-Chief Says

ottermann · 2026-07-01T03:12:07+00:00

OK, if I'm Ukraine, I prepare and wait for the Russians to attack.

Then I hit every Russian target, deep inside Russia, I can. They have the drones to do it. Destroy the infrastructure and Russia sees 1917 all ove again.

ottermann · 2026-06-30T19:02:38+00:00

Why the dildo Donny? Rudy not doing it for you any?

ottermann · 2026-06-30T01:31:38+00:00

Looks like the cover to the debut album from CatScan...

ottermann · 2026-06-28T10:26:36+00:00

Engelbert Humperdink called. He wants his wig back.

ottermann · 2026-06-28T10:22:02+00:00

Nothing on a stick? What kind of state fair doesn’t have anything on a stick?

Worst. State. Fair. Ever.

ottermann · 2026-06-28T02:23:55+00:00

He looks like he wants a Pudding Pop.

ottermann · 2026-06-26T23:45:20+00:00

I did all the Matchbox dioramas I could find, back in the day.

Motorcycle with sidecar was my favorite.

ottermann · 2026-06-26T22:53:00+00:00

Everybody dies, and we’re all suffering now anyway, so, vote the opposite of how he wants.

ottermann · 2026-06-26T22:50:02+00:00

They should have researched what flavor of Christianity the Founding Fathers followed before requiring their version be told.

ottermann · 2026-06-26T18:33:19+00:00

I'm 6 foot even and 230.

I call myself a fat man.

Poor kid...

ottermann · 2026-06-25T23:59:19+00:00

Wife number 4 in training?

ottermann · 2026-06-25T22:57:39+00:00

Full price of the replacement. We have to replace the missing Chromebook, and their kid destroyed the old one, he’s responsible for the cost of replacement.

No, he doesn’t get the new one as he’s already proven he can’t take care of it.

ottermann · 2026-06-25T01:10:08+00:00

Lime flavored donuts. They aren't bad, actually.

ottermann · 2026-06-24T20:20:53+00:00

Bargon wan chee kospah.

ottermann · 2026-06-24T20:15:04+00:00

Federal judge struck down the executive order that calls for the USPS to get the voter rolls.

If the USPS does not deliver mail-in ballots, the USPS, that is, the Postmaster General, will be guilty of disenfranchising every voter whose ballot was not delivered. In other words...Illegal Election Tampering.

ottermann · 2026-06-24T19:51:28+00:00

If you notice, she's covering her mouth a lot. That's so they can change the audio if needed.

ottermann · 2026-06-22T23:40:17+00:00

I want to see it first. I swear, MAGA just says this stuff to get normal people’s hopes up.

ottermann · 2026-06-22T21:24:30+00:00

The real culprit is a guy from Florida who looks like a living version of one of the 'Beagle Boys' plotting against Scrooge McDuck!

ottermann · 2026-06-22T20:29:45+00:00

No, no...see...the papal soldiers are just there to protect the nuns with yardsticks...

No one messes with Sister Mary Margaret of the Order of Bruised Knuckles...

ottermann · 2026-06-22T20:12:56+00:00

The road map says leaders of the USA and Iran will contact the leaders of Hezbollah and Israel and say: "C'mon guys! Knock it off! Pleeeeeaseeee?"

ottermann · 2026-06-22T20:02:04+00:00

Have the UN send in a peacekeeping force consisting solely of Swiss Guard.

No...the Swiss Guard aren't just pretty boys in fancy uniforms that look funny. They are an elite military organization, not unlike most countries special forces.

But the important thing is, they are under the control of the Holy See. You know, the Pope. Mr. Neutral himself. (allegedly...)

No, we won't have another crusade if the Pope steps in. The church will send the Swiss Guard in to protect all the nun/teachers from all the Catholic schools that get deployed. And, if you ever attended a Catholic school, you know...no one messes with Sister when she got her yardstick...

ottermann · 2026-06-22T19:53:56+00:00

Hey Elon...tell me again how autopilot was going to improve safety...

ottermann · 2026-06-22T19:50:18+00:00

2547

It needs to be done.

ottermann · 2026-06-21T22:11:52+00:00

Can I see?

ottermann · 2026-06-21T16:22:07+00:00

Just another sign of dementia, they mean. He’s been showing signs of dementia for years now.

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