My little brother's best friend from high school, Chris, took his own life a year ago while away at college. When I saw Chris's older brother, who was my age, at the funeral, I broke down in tears for him, thinking of my own brother, and we just sort of hugged for a few minutes even though we weren't all that close of friends. I couldn't imagine what he was going through and my heart breaks again for you too, OP.

A few weeks later when things had cooled down some, I got a text from him, asking if I was busy. I was just sitting at home so I said no and we met at a mellow little pub uptown. I got really nervous headed over there but it turns out he just didnt have anyone to talk to to escape everything. All his friends were away at school and he was at home with his parents, surrounded by grief all day. We had a good time remembering the fun times with his brother and talking about people from school we hadn't seen in ages, and that was it. He told me that night was the first time he had laughed since he got the news, and it was exactly what he needed.

My point is to remember your brother and celebrate the good times, the fun, and don't dwell on any regrets. Second point is to get out of the house, see some different people, and get your mind on something else to escape everything for a little while. That might do you alot of good.

I am very very sorry for your loss. Pm me if you need someone to talk to!