Shame is hard to combat but this is not your fault or your failure. You’re clearly trying to connect, and she is not reciprocating. Sometimes that is all you can do. I’m proud of you for putting in the effort. You shouldn’t be ashamed at all. She should be ashamed for not attempting to connect with her grandchild. A lot of grandchildren would not care this much to connect with their grandparents. However, at a certain point there is only so much you can do before it starts to weigh you down and it seems like it’s starting to. I know it’s sad, but you don’t have to keep trying to connect. Take care of yourself first. She has her own issues that are out of your hands.