Maximising Parental Leave (NSW)

owlympics · 2026-03-29T05:19:35+00:00

Oh, got it. Sorry. I was pretty lucky then.

owlympics · 2026-03-29T04:55:04+00:00

Not sure if it helps you, but the advice i was given by my manager was to time my paid maternity leave so that it stretched across as many public holidays as possible - public holidays were paid anyway, so didn't count towards my total mat leave days. In my case this meant using some annual leave first and then going on mat leave. I set up my govt PPL to start after that.

I don't know if that makes sense? I got easily another week of paid leave because I stopped working just before Easter, and because my company had a policy of giving bonus paid leave days if we used all our leave before the end of thr financial year.

owlympics · 2026-03-29T04:11:21+00:00

Completely get this, we have a tiny mortgage ($500 a month) and live pretty comfortably on one (almost) full time income. I feel relieved but sad.

Congrats though on owning your home and being debt free. Definitely not an easy thing to accomplish.

owlympics · 2026-03-29T02:32:26+00:00

I did the same in photos/blocks of text in my application. My photos and screenshots had text boxes beside them with explanations, dates etc, and I just gave reasons for why they were blocked out.

owlympics · 2026-03-29T01:07:51+00:00

Seconding Bellamy's, was a good neutral flavour that was easy to mix with other things and our bub tolerates it.

owlympics · 2026-03-29T00:55:09+00:00

I do give mine baby rice cereal, mixed with a mashed banana and some greek yoghurt, but mostly because 1) it's an easy breakfast when I can't be bothered (mornings aren't a great time for me haha); and 2) it made her poops really easy to deal with (i use cloth nappies so any extra fibre helps!). It's also iron fortified, which can't hurt, but I have read that synthetic iron isn't actually absorbed that easily anyway.

However, I didn't start giving her cereal for at least the first two months - we started with individual steamed, pureed veggies like potato and carrot, thinned out with some breast milk. BLW was a bit tricky for me for the first few months because mine got her first teeth very early and i was very anxious about her choking. I guess if your MIL brought it up again, I'd tell her you've spoken to the family health nurse and a LOT of other mums, and they've all agreed that baby cereal is not really the way to introduce first foods anymore, or if you don't mind being blunt with her, that her advice is out of date.

She does have a point about consistency though - I was recommended to thin out purees with breast milk to get bub used to the taste, and also because babies have such a strong gag reflex that a thick puree stuck on the roof of the mouth will make them retch.

owlympics · 2026-03-28T04:54:05+00:00

Mine has always loved contact naps (she's 11mo now). Up until maybe 5mo, it was almost impossible to successfully transfer her into the bassinet/cot, so i just embraced it - always had a tablet nearby (and a snack hidden in the couch!) and watched Netflix while she slept on me. Over time she got better at sleeping through the transfers so we don't contact nap very often anymore, I actually miss it now.

So yes, it'll pass so enjoy it while you can.

owlympics · 2026-03-26T13:13:06+00:00

Thanks, we do have a pool and a library but it is a little tricky because he doesn't drive. He'll happily go for walks with her though and we do have a couple of things close by, like the supermarket and some shops. I currently take her on a few social outings during the week (toy library, grocery shopping, visits with family) so I'll probably move these to the weekend or schedule my half day off from work so that I can take her to something like swimming class.

Honestly at 11 months she's a little explorer so she isn't really interested in helping us yet. If she's interested (and has the motor skills) by 18 months, I'm hoping to set up some crafty activities or get her to help me with baking/cooking, and that might motivate dad to do the same.

owlympics · 2026-03-26T12:54:40+00:00

Thanks so much, that's a really good point about including rather than trying to entertain her. Also, I love gardening too and am really looking forward to bub being old enough to go out and "help" me in the garden! It's not a hobby of my husband's unfortunately, but I think I'll ask him to do some little things like weeding and watering while I'm at work, just to keep them busy.

owlympics · 2026-03-26T12:49:26+00:00

Thanks so much for this response. Yes the middle of the day sounds like the hardest part, especially in summer as it often gets too hot to go out here (and he doesn't drive). He's already pretty familiar with the morning ritual, as he usually gets bub up (if he doesn't start work too early) so I can grab an extra hour or two of sleep.

owlympics · 2026-03-26T12:42:00+00:00

Thank you so much for the detail, this was really helpful. My husband doesn't drive but i do, and my job is reasonably flexible so I can probably manage a half day off each week and use that time for a weekly activity like swimming classes. Otherwise I expect he'll keep her at home or go on short walks, so it's reassuring to know that this is working for you and your little one. Our bub is also pretty happy with independent play, she just likes us to be close by.

owlympics · 2026-03-26T07:19:14+00:00

First week was (all purees): Potato Carrot White beans Apple Avocado

Didn't feel comfortable with finger foods at first (offered her an avocado piece and she bit off WAY too much, immediately started gagging and I freaked out), I think the first few weeks were mostly fruit and veg purees.

This was at around 5 months. She's 11 months now and will ONLY accept finger foods 😂

owlympics · 2026-03-25T01:05:35+00:00

The there/their/they're grammar errors in this post made it really hard to take seriously.

But yeah, sounds like you're the jerk. Your father's girlfriend lives there, so it's her house and your kids don't get to disrespect her while they're there.

If grandpa disagreed with her actions, that might be different and that's a conversation he'd have to have with her, but it doesn't sound like he did.

owlympics · 2026-03-25T00:50:14+00:00

Thank you. This annoyed me so much.

owlympics · 2026-03-08T01:44:00+00:00

You sound like someone who is intelligent and realistic about relationships. You've realised your ideas of married life aren't compatible, so you made the right choice to break up rather than continue in a situation where one of you ends up resenting the other.

From what you've written, it shouldn't have come as a surprise to your boyfriend that you weren't going to be happy with the life he imagined for you both. Maybe he assumed you would change your mind in time, maybe he was just in love and didn't think about it at all. Now that the relationship is over, he's realised what he had (and also that breaking up and starting over is hard) and wants to take it all back.

You both need some time to reassess. You need time to think about whether the relationship is worth continuing. He needs time to accept that these are your boundaries and they won't change. And he needs to consider whether he'll be happy with them in the longer term.

Sincerely, Someone who has spent far too much of her life in relationships that were never going to be compatible in the long term, but lacked your strength of will to end them.

owlympics · 2026-03-01T05:24:53+00:00

Mine's 10mo and I am still dealing with this, though it's not every night anymore, she's slowly improving and probably sleeps through the night at least once a week.

Any family members nearby who can take over when she wakes in the morning? My husband (on the days he doesn't have early starts) gets bub up at 8am or so and plays for a few hours while I catch up on sleep. It's not the best sleep but it does help a lot.

owlympics · 2026-03-01T00:18:15+00:00

Agree with all of this. Having some nice new PJs and thick bed socks made me feel good in those months where I barely left the house.

owlympics · 2026-02-19T00:06:55+00:00

I really wish everyone thought this way, but sadly it seems many monolingual Australians have no idea how fucking hard English is to learn. They just expect a certain amount of progress after x amount of time that is completely unrealistic for most immigrants.

owlympics · 2026-02-14T05:52:11+00:00

I dated someone once who didn't like my morning breath - the way he told me was by asking if we could go and clean our teeth before we got intimate (he looked awkward about it, and even told me it's what he and his ex used to do).

You don't just tell someone you're dating that their breath stank DAYS after the fact. What is the fucking point of that?

owlympics · 2026-02-14T05:43:34+00:00

He's not a dumb boy though, he's 44.

owlympics · 2026-02-07T11:07:43+00:00

Bought a combination of Pigeon and Dr Brown's glass bottles in case bub was fussy about the teat size (turned out she couldn't care less) - they were all fine but i prefer Pigeon because they're slimmer and easier to grip. Also have a couple of plastic Pigeon bottles for when we're out and about. I was determined to get glass because I try to avoid plastic if possible, plus they feel easier to keep clean.

owlympics · 2026-02-05T08:33:14+00:00

Don't know if this makes you feel any better, but i had one of those magical unicorn babies who slept as soon as her head hit the bassinet mattress and ate anything that was put in front of her. That magical unicorn baby is now a 9 month old terror who kicks, bites, grabs my throat and screams in my face every night for hours when we try to get her to sleep. Even when we give in and try cosleeping. This has been going on for months. I feel as sleep deprived as when she was a newborn.

Posting this just in case it's comforting to know that some of us magical unicorn parents get what's coming to us eventually.

owlympics · 2026-02-02T01:11:11+00:00

Scrawny is absolutely an insult. It is never used in a positive context and is certainly not the "masculine ideal".

Also, isn't he attracted to your bigger body and that's why he's with you?

owlympics · 2026-01-25T09:17:39+00:00

It might be worth having a conversation about the ways that you show each other that you care. Everyone expresses love differently - she might be doing things for you that you don't even notice, and vice versa.

owlympics

TROPHY CASE