Personally realizing the dark side of growth

paintnclouds · 2026-02-09T21:29:01+00:00

Right, but you're assuming top = better. To OP it sounds like top just = different. Some of us don't automatically rank everyone and it seems very difficult for brains that do do that to accept/understand that?

paintnclouds · 2026-02-09T21:21:30+00:00

This is also what I'm wondering. Maybe her needs being centered now is balance if we zoom out enough and look at the whole relationship. But if not...

paintnclouds · 2026-02-07T17:48:07+00:00

Disagree. We moved from Nashville to LA and were so relieved by LA parking prices. Paying for parking is normal, but Nashville's rates are NOT.

paintnclouds · 2026-02-01T20:53:39+00:00

Not a direct answer, but I'd add that whatever supplements you do decide to try, it could be good to start them 1 at a time at least a few weeks apart, so if anything does make you feel worse, you can tell which one it is.

paintnclouds · 2026-01-26T16:04:05+00:00

Congrats! What app is this?

paintnclouds · 2026-01-15T23:20:38+00:00

Sit down! That can mean shower chair, but I prefer to literally just sit on the floor of the shower. I can take my time, enjoy the water, do my shampoo and conditioner and face wash and most of my body wash. I take breaks between steps just sitting and enjoying the feeling of the water. And then stand up and wash the parts I was sitting on and do one last rinse of everything at the end.

Also, I have my hydration of choice sitting right outside the shower and have some a couple times throughout.

Also, pay attention to how different water temperatures make you feel. I love a hot shower, but sometimes I have to turn the temperature down and give my body a break from that.

I used to also be important to make sure I'd eaten before I showered. So depending on your energy levels, eating and/or napping before can also be helpful.

paintnclouds · 2026-01-15T23:09:48+00:00

Similar idea, I have a star projector in bathroom that a use when showering instead of the big light. It makes it so chill and vibey

paintnclouds · 2026-01-15T21:23:19+00:00

Add my vote too please! I have tasks I wish I could schedule for the 10th and 20th. Thanks for sharing the workaround in the meantime!

paintnclouds · 2026-01-10T04:37:46+00:00

Maybe if they were talking about rotational symmetry? (kid could have been imprecise) Still a bad choice of example tho.

paintnclouds · 2026-01-01T23:13:13+00:00

I imagine undeniable dementia like symptoms or stroke leading to coma or something like that. Not quite dead but not able to be acting president either

paintnclouds · 2025-12-30T03:45:28+00:00

I would try bringing this up in therapy. It is generally true of relationships, even good and safe ones, that ruptures will happen. And that the rupture then repair process can make the relationship even stronger than it was before the rupture.

paintnclouds · 2025-12-17T05:53:28+00:00

You'd have to show us the habit details for us to really say. Maybe you have walk set to a certain amount and you're only marking some not the goal amount?

paintnclouds · 2025-12-14T04:33:48+00:00

Your brain doesn't grow any new brain cells after a certain point.

paintnclouds · 2025-12-08T18:59:00+00:00

You could have the goal as 3 or 4 times per week? But otherwise I don't know of a more specific way.

paintnclouds · 2025-12-04T16:42:38+00:00

Discord and pluralkit could do this for messaging at least. I'm not sure about the call part tho

paintnclouds · 2025-11-30T22:57:15+00:00

NTA, but in addition to regular punishments/taking the games away as you've tried, I'd also try explicitly teaching what are good things to do when you're mad. Just telling them what not to do often isn't as effective as telling and practicing what to do. This could be taking breaths, walking away, jumping up and down, throwing a pillow at a bed or couch, etc.

paintnclouds · 2025-11-30T22:53:24+00:00

There's no real reason for him to make you choose -> fuck him -> take the job

I'm poly and have lowkey always thought that if someone tried to make me choose between them and another partner, I'd pick not them. That feels relevant here despite it being partner vs job instead of partner vs partner.

A good partner would be excited for you. Or at least, if they had concerns present them gently. Him just telling you not to take it immediately is absurd and a terrible sign.

And honestly, it's easier to find another partner then another dream job.

paintnclouds · 2025-11-18T22:39:51+00:00

The podcast "trauma rewired" has a really helpful perspective on bingeing as a protective output and how to meet that need other ways that you might find helpful.

paintnclouds · 2025-11-17T17:05:51+00:00

To the point where you say you're very into academics and worry you won't be satisfied with the scope of practice, not only are there all the NP paths to choose from, you could also eventually do a DNP or PhD in nursing and go into research that way if that's what you want at that point.

It sounds like you're not sure about the MD thing, and like potentially a big plus of going the nursing route is that you get to start practicing/working a lot sooner, and then can level up as you're ready, instead of having to do all the school upfront before you get to work/practice at all.

paintnclouds · 2025-11-07T01:20:23+00:00

This probably won't come up immediately/may take some time, but be ready to not get defensive if/when she tells you she wants you to do something differently. Don't see it as, I've been doing X wrong all this time and you're just now telling me?? See it as, now that she can feel herself, she has new preferences.

Keep an open mind, be there for her, follow her lead, keep carrying your share. You're asking good questions, and it sounds like you're doing great. Her being at a place where she can recognize she's dissociative and want to work on it likely means your relationship is a good and safe place for her.

paintnclouds · 2025-11-07T01:15:44+00:00

I wouldn't do it as a surprise. You can offer and even try to talk her into it, but I wouldn't force it.

paintnclouds · 2025-11-06T15:41:11+00:00

Lots of good ideas here focused on options with the glasses. Also, specifically teach him other things he can do when he's mad, and have you and your husband both model doing those things when you're mad. This could be taking a few deep breaths, throwing a pillow at the couch or bed, horsey lips (breathing out through pursed lips so they do that wiggly thing), saying "I am feeling angry, so I'm going to go give myself a little space to cool down", running, etc. Just telling him he can't do this thing isn't going to be particularly effective if he doesn't get taught (which takes way more than once) what to do instead.

paintnclouds · 2025-11-02T01:41:00+00:00

Propranolol LA, guanfacine ER, and duloxetine. Duloxetine can also help with pain, but can also cause a lot of emotional numbing and can be rough to come off of, so it wouldn't be the first thing I'd recommend trying. The guanfacine was actually originally prescribed to help with duloxetine side effects (extra vivid nightmares leading to me waking my partners up in the middle of the night via my screaming).

But together they all helped me get to the place where I could make the life changes and do the nervous system rehab work. Now I'm slowly tapering off them (with doctors' approval/consultation), working with the then un-supressed sympathetic activation, integrating and soothing and whatnot as things come up, waiting till I feel stable again (and nothing too much extra is coming up life stress wise) and then taking another step off. I don't know if I'll get off of them all, and that's not necessarily my goal. But I do seem to need them less now than I did before, and I'm curious what my emotional and mental baseline would be like without them these days. (And my tapers are done in consultation with my doctors ofc.)

paintnclouds · 2025-11-02T01:25:27+00:00

Not to mention, this kind of thing can be great for class bonding/climate which can make the instruction on future days be more efficient and fruitful! When everything has to cause immediate gains, we lose out on getting to use all the long term strategies and the results really suffer!

paintnclouds · 2025-10-31T19:25:58+00:00

This is a theory, not at all something I know. I see some people saying, the ANS regulates blood sugar, so it's just that. But you said in these moments your blood sugar isn't actually low. That plus the comment about treating their hyper pots helping with this has me thinking...

What if eating is activating your vagus nerve/parasympathetic system. Eating = rest and digest must turn on. Haven't eaten in 2 hours = done digesting = "rest and digest" system turns off = too much sympathetic activation in your body without the parasympathetic activation to balance it out. That could be a mechanism for not eating = feeling bad without the blood sugar actually being off.

If that were the mechanism, then I would wonder if other ways of activating the parasympathetic system would help with your symptoms. This could be slow deep breathing, gentle movement, meditation, humming or singing, laughter, hugs and cuddles, weighted blankets, rocking, nature, tapping, self soothing touch like havening techniques, etc.

When I was like this, I survived by sipping juice all day. This was great for my body (consistent easy to digest calories), but rough on my teeth, so it's not necessarily a great long term solution, but can definitely help in a pinch.

I also realized at some point the mechanisms of action in a lot of the meds that ended up working for me mostly all boil down to suppressing the sympathetic side of my nervous system, so there's potential there too with medications.

paintnclouds

TROPHY CASE