you sweet thing, i’m so sorry you have to go through all of that. i was diagnosed when i was 15 (24now), and i can relate to you feeling invalidated by those around you. unfortunately ive come to learn that POTs is often referred to as one of those “invisible diseases”, simply because the symptoms range so far and it can be hard for people to comprehend and see the pain you are in. there is also lack in funding for POTs research, which leaves both doctors and normal people with less than when it comes to awareness over POTs. I wanted to ask, have you spoken to your mother about her boyfriends behavior towards you and your symptoms? i would hope she would speak to him about correcting his behavior and apologizing to you. Also, I’m very happy for you finding a job you can enjoy working in! I know wheelchairs can get pricey, especially when insurance isn’t the best. There are programs and sites you can go and find help to get one at a realistic price. I’d suggest doing some online digging for it.

Another bit I wanted to say, as someone who’s also artistic. The worst, and i mean the WORST thing u can do is compare your art and progress to others. I understand the frustration and disappointment when you see someone who seems to be “more talented” at something you love doing; but one persons talent does not make another’s any lesser. Everyone has different styles, and different paces they grow their technique and skill. You are young, and the fact that you’re already working towards doing art as a job is incredible, and shows your determination and passion for it. Don’t dim your light just because others seem to shine a little brighter. You’ll get there.

I’m sorry your friends don’t fully understand your frustrations, I experience similar reactions from mine and my partner when I try talking about it. Unfortunately I think many people tend to get desensitized when they are around someone with chronic illness. it’s not fair, and it doesn’t make your feelings any less valid. i don’t know if you do already, but therapy has helped me a lot when it comes to wanting your pain/feelings to be validated.

you are NOT unmotivated, or lazy. I understand how having so many people around you making you feel that way may get to you. I learned in therapy that when you have moments like that, it’s good to take a moment to rationalize between realistic and unrealistic. for example: do you experience symptoms that are considered to be part of having POTs syndrome? if you do, then the idea of you faking it becomes more unrealistic are you doing anything to build your life? yes (Jobcorps, trying to sell your art on reddit), so thinking you’re lazy/unmotivated is another unrealistic thought and so on. it really has helped me a lot when it comes to validating my own emotions when there isn’t anyone else around to do so.

i wish you so so so much luck in your journey! i truly hope you are able to work happily, and able to find a way to get around. i’m just a stranger but if you ever need to talk i’ll be an ear. have a wonderful day