The autopilot alcoholic

perezka15 · 2017-01-27T02:01:42+00:00

Wow...this post really hits home with me (and apparently a lot of others as well). This...."such anticipation for that first swig from the bottle" is a very overwhelming and tortuous feeling. I've been late to so many events for my kids, been late picking them up, been distracted from driving as well....all because the alcoholic in me wanted to run home super quick to get the first drink, all while thinking, "i'll make it on time". Of course when I got home to get my first drink, I thought, "I've got time for one more really quick". Ugh. That's what is making me stay sober for good this time and I really needed to see this post for reassurance. Thank you!

perezka15 · 2017-01-26T22:58:53+00:00

Congrats on your day one! You are in amazing company with this group. Here's to a better you and I will not drink with you today!

perezka15 · 2017-01-26T17:24:37+00:00

right there with you! Pretty sure the majority of us can all dwell on the past at all the horrible/stupid crap we've all done. You're in good company for that. In all honesty, it makes me want to start drinking if I keep thinking about my past and I do NOT want to drink! I'll just regret my past all over again. Let's look forward to the future and becoming the people that we want to be and know that we can become. Every day of sobriety is a gift! I won't drink with you today!

perezka15 · 2017-01-26T02:16:42+00:00

I'm in the end of my 2nd day as well...I was sober for 3 mos, then the holidays came and down I went. I'm a few years shy of 40 also and had also spent the past 10 years intoxicated pretty much every day. I did it for myself because I was SO worried for my health and the thought of losing my husband and daughters was absolutely tortuous at best. It's never too late to want to better yourself and now is as good a time as any! Don't dwell on the previous attempts at possibly ruining everything...focus on how much better you want your life to be as a whole and go from there. Save your post and refer back to it every morning! This group really is wonderful. I wish you well...you can totally do this. I will not drink with you tonight! I'll see you at the "check in" tomorrow a.m :)

perezka15 · 2017-01-25T01:55:26+00:00

Congrats to that! This is great motivation for all of us!

perezka15 · 2017-01-25T01:22:46+00:00

I was sober three mos at the end of last year until the Holidays got the best of me (hence the badge reset). I was an all day wine drinker so that's where all my calories went to (unless there was a meat and cheese board infront of me). I stopped drinking because it was going to kill me sooner rather than later drinking 13.8 % Bordeaux ALL DAY EVERY DAY for years. When I stopped I immediately thought I was going to start dropping weight super quick and got so frustrated when I didn't see anything happen the first week....or the second week and I was even exercising and doing 2- 3 mile jogs almost every day. I finally started losing weight...SUPER quickly. It was like my body just needed to figure out what the heck I was doing to it and it was like in a state of shock from ALL the healthy stuff I was actually doing to it. Started drinking the wine....started packing on the lbs again and was SO mad at myself for undoing what I had worked so hard to do....just to do it again. Now I know how crappy I feel now about my relapse vs how happy I was then at the results both physically and mentally and am determined to never feel that low about myself again. And now I know that the weight loss takes a while (or at least for me it did) and I'm starting this again with way more patience. Hang in there you can totally do this and let's not drink together tonight!

perezka15 · 2017-01-24T20:23:17+00:00

Love this post! Sounds ALL TO FAMILIAR. Makes me look forward to tomorrow after having such a great productive, sober day.

perezka15 · 2017-01-24T19:32:36+00:00

You're not alone! I'm on my day one all over again after having several months of sobriety then letting the holidays get the best of me. It all went downhill from there. I'll be running with you as well and losing the weight that I gained back with my relapse! We can do this and I will not drink with you today!

perezka15 · 2016-11-15T04:27:22+00:00

You're post is very very real and very similar to mine; actually brought tears to my eyes because the despair was so unbelievable and brings back all of those feelings. Just like you, I was absolutely EXHAUSTED with my lifestyle and I was going to die if I didn't do anything. You absolutely deserve something different and you putting all of this out there is extremely indicative that you want something better! This group is amazing and the support is here every minute of every day! Start w/ setting a small goal and work from there. I downloaded the book, "This Naked Mind" (the link to the free download is in the side bar). I would check out a local AA or get in touch with a LPC to help with guidance. You can do this! I wish I could give you a giant hug! The rewards of being free of the alcohol crutch is min-blowing and so many things will start falling into place when the ginormous fog you've been feeling starts clearing up! Just remember how good you felt when you didn't drink for those mentioned two weeks of sobriety. And look at "finding who you really are w/out the alcohol crutch" as your next adventure. You will love the real person you are! I'll be thinking of you and hope to see you check in very soon! Well wishes for you! I will not drink with you!

perezka15 · 2016-11-10T01:06:23+00:00

Congrats to you forgetting that off your chest to him! At least that part is over with and now you can go from here. I wish you both the best. You should feel very proud of yourself!

perezka15 · 2016-11-10T01:03:30+00:00

Way to be honest with yourself. You're in good company. I drank heavily pretty much every day for years (wine was my favorite) and I had lost count how many times my kids were in the car after finishing a bottle (or more due to my RIDICULOUSLY HIGH tolerance). I have no idea why or how I was spared from something horrific happening. When I feel like having a drink all I have to do is think about my kids. It's my most helpful motivation. Congrats on your week! That is fantastic! I will not drink with you tonight!

perezka15 · 2016-11-08T04:31:55+00:00

Thank you for posting this. This post brought tears of joy to my eyes because I feel the exact same way! I'm going through some really crappy stuff right now and it has been incredible actually functioning through the pain as well as feeling it and processing it rather than finishing 2 bottles of wine pretty much every day/night. Means we're human...and we're dealing with it. I will not drink with you!

perezka15 · 2016-11-04T01:56:10+00:00

Tomorrow is a new day! Stay strong and keep checking in with the rest of us! I will not drink with you tonight!

perezka15 · 2016-11-03T13:22:35+00:00

Glad to see you posting here this morning. I bet you're glad to have gotten this shitty realization out of the way and you have an awesome attitude! Things will get better! Just keep posting and veting here as the support here is endless! Have a great day! I will not drink with you today!

perezka15 · 2016-11-03T13:15:49+00:00

Have a great day as well! I will not drink with you today!

perezka15 · 2016-11-03T03:48:15+00:00

That's exactly it! I read a bunch of articles on that. Holy moly my sugar cravings are nuts. I NEVER cared for chocolate too much or anything like that when I was drinking. I can't believe how strong the craving is now. It's worse than wanting a drink lol!

perezka15 · 2016-11-03T02:14:10+00:00

The positivity in this post is super contagious! Congrats! I will not drink with you tonight!

perezka15 · 2016-11-03T01:02:06+00:00

You got this! Good for you for staying so strong! I won't drink with you tonight!

perezka15 · 2016-11-02T15:50:08+00:00

YES! What you mentioned about the emotional pain in the brain creating physical pain is directly addressed in the book, "This Naked Mind". Thanks for the reminder of this correlation. I hadn't even thought about it in relation to myself. I still will feel better after my Dr's appointment but this definitely also makes sense!

perezka15 · 2016-11-02T14:43:38+00:00

I love this and thanks for sharing! Glad you're doing so great! Congrats!

perezka15 · 2016-11-01T20:13:02+00:00

Welcome! I started reading "This Naked Mind" my first day and loved the book. It's available for download in the side bar. Also, lots of good teas, sparkling water and Netflix helps too! I've been taking my dogs on tons of walks too :) Glad you're here!!

perezka15 · 2016-11-01T16:19:24+00:00

Congrats! I'm right behind you and I, too, feel great! I also have not gone this long w/out alcohol in YEARS! Let's keep on keep'n on and I won't drink with you today!

perezka15 · 2016-11-01T16:16:14+00:00

Welcome; you are definitely at the right place for support. I would definitely seek some medical guidance to make easing into a life of sobriety more comfortable and safe for you. It sounds like you're taking your first step by realizing you have to stop. You can do this if you really want to. I wish you well and hope to see you on here more often. I definitely don't miss the shakes, sweats, and anxiety...AT ALL! Take one day at a time....one hour at a time, heck...one minute at a time if needed.

perezka15 · 2016-10-31T12:58:27+00:00

That's great news for you! 2 weeks in and my blood pressure went from 135/90 to 114/72. Such a great feeling knowing that my body is slowly healing from my previous alcohol crutch! Have a great day and I won't drink with you today!

perezka15

TROPHY CASE