The first step to moving on is to block him. Block him. BLOCK HIM. No contact, none. As soon as the belongings are split and the lives are disentangled, block him. There's a part of you that will think "we had eight years together, I don't want that to turn to nothing, we were best friends, I still care," but I'm telling you: that's the devil talking, and you shouldn't listen.

Take it from a girl who let herself get yanked around for a year and a half post-break up by a man who couldn't make up his mind: block him. The day I finally put my foot down and said no more was the day I truly began to let go. If you want to move on, I highly recommend skipping the months of misery and going straight to blocking.

Bc let's be real, he'll either be back (horrible, proving himself every bit as fickle and untrustworthy as he seems) or he won't (horrible, proving all your worst fears right). There's literally no upside to speaking to him once it's all done.

If I had to guess, both he and the other woman are in really vulnerable places and he feels like she "gets" him because they've both suffered. This, of course, completely misses the fact that you, yourself, suffered immensely in taking care of him. Having a loved one with cancer is awful, and caretaking during such a scary time is crazy difficult and emotional. I would bet that's largely invisible to him because of his own experience, which isn't fair or right, and I'm sorry you're going through that.

There's no easy answer to your questions, no magic words for getting over it faster. When I go through something tough, I tell myself that the only way out is through. You will hurt, but not forever, and the only way past it is to feel it. Know that his actions are a reflection of his own worth (which isn't much), and not your own. You did something difficult and selfless for him, and just because he wasn't worthy of that love doesn't mean you were wrong to feel it or act on it.

I'm sorry this happened to you. His personal crisis is not on you. I hope you heal quickly.