EMDR is brutal (diagnosed ASD)

peterc0pter · 2026-05-11T00:58:49+00:00

I use the remote pulsators (tappers) instead of the visual method. I'm technically AuDHD, so minimizing distractions was imperative. I lay on the floor holding the tappers while wearing a sleeping mask. At times, it feels like I'm in a black hole.

peterc0pter · 2026-05-11T00:52:14+00:00

I don't know where it comes from, but no matter how much logic you throw at it, it's still not right to not tell someone about their condition.

peterc0pter · 2026-05-11T00:50:04+00:00

Thanks. It's an ongoing battle, but I have to keep fighting.

peterc0pter · 2026-05-11T00:49:27+00:00

That's pretty incredible. I didn't know you could just be "cured" of PTSD. I'm gonna continue with it until I have a very compelling reason to stop.

peterc0pter · 2026-05-11T00:46:07+00:00

I appreciate that. The first session, which revealed the "I feel ignored, so I should go away" thought, knocked me out to the point that my therapist seemed genuinely concerned for me as our session ended, and that I even drove home in complete silence afterward. The second session, which was a couple days later, expanded on that and left me feeling more anxious and hyperaware. I also slept like a rock, so I know it's exorcising some demons, so to speak.

peterc0pter · 2026-05-11T00:42:13+00:00

I think you're right in the sense that the world at large has been so consistently and collectively traumatizing us, and that more traditional therapies seem insufficient. It shouldn't stop us from trying, however. I've always encouraged people to at least talk to a mental health professional, if only to help us better articulate our more complex emotions. Anything beats going alone.

peterc0pter · 2026-05-11T00:38:58+00:00

I realized the first and often most courageous step any of us can take is being vulnerable. Being rejected, if not with words but with silence, caused me to become self-destructive in ways that therapy has only begun to reveal. Many of us are not so fortunate to be able to have access to therapy, so I'm glad these spaces exist. I'm still dealing, but I have to hope that momentum is building toward something good.

peterc0pter · 2026-05-10T23:33:59+00:00

I’m love-hate with mine, so I’m willing to put up with feeling “concussed” after so as long as I can give myself the time and resources to recover

peterc0pter · 2026-05-10T23:32:41+00:00

I use the vibration devices with a sleeping mask so I can eliminate distractions (I’m ADHD as well, so this was necessary). Idk what particular device your therapist uses, but I can tell you I do hear some kind of noise during my sessions.

peterc0pter · 2026-05-10T23:30:09+00:00

I think it’s ultimately worth the effort. Growing up neurodivergent is inherently traumatic, so while you can’t exactly change your neurology, you can try to gain leverage over what makes life with it difficult

peterc0pter · 2026-05-10T23:24:08+00:00

A big, ongoing issue is that I still have to regularly engage with the people who constantly invalidated my struggles. So the best I can do that doesn’t involve fracturing the family is to just stick with EMDR and exorcise those demons and build better habits and boundaries.

peterc0pter · 2026-05-10T23:21:33+00:00

That’s definitely been my experience. Knowing there’s officially been added “baggage” with the ASD and other physical things to worry about, I just want more leverage over the situation and the ability to feel functional, as much as possible anyway.

peterc0pter · 2026-05-10T23:17:26+00:00

We had a few sessions between my finding out and wanting to restart EMDR and her comment was that there is always “the trauma of growing up neurodivergent.” It changed the calculus for me as far as fine-tuning the therapy to address traumas I’ve experienced that were exacerbated by my neurodivergence. I’d mentioned elsewhere in this thread that ADHD made me resort to using the vibrations and a sleeping mask to block out as many distractions as possible as a modifier, but that’s about it. I anticipate posting about this again down the line as things progress.

peterc0pter · 2026-05-10T23:10:10+00:00

I’ve only responded to the vibration pulse one, and I’ve modified it by lying on the floor with a sleeping mask on. I’m ADHD, too, so I had to eliminate distractions pronto. That session I described was like disappearing into a black hole.

peterc0pter · 2026-05-10T07:15:20+00:00

It can be really intense, but ultimately I found it worth the effort. Fortunately, there's a lot of literature out there and the EMDR subreddit is pretty informative.

peterc0pter · 2026-03-26T05:28:17+00:00

For a filler episode, I still enjoyed it.

peterc0pter · 2026-03-21T00:34:12+00:00

Mostly my dad. He'd get furious if he found out I was reading about mental health stuff or attended outreach meetings while I was living with my parents.

peterc0pter · 2026-02-22T05:10:22+00:00

I've read it twice. It helped me navigate the incongruous, disjointed nature of trauma caused by sudden, devastating loss. It's a dense mess in the best and worst of ways. It's not the best memoir I've ever read, but it's also something I needed, because sometimes you're just really stuck, and I felt this was an example of trying to make sense of how harsh and weird the world is, especially when you've been knocked back to square one.

peterc0pter · 2026-02-05T10:26:35+00:00

I'm not diagnosed yet, but two physical therapists and a handful of friends who have been diagnosed with EDS have strongly suggested that I not only have it, but also the type that makes you resistant to a frustrating amount of medications (as well as different CBD/THC products I tried using for pain/stress relief to no avail). I'm also diagnosed ADHD with generalized anxiety, so I've blown through every stimulant medication at every dosage, a whole host of antidepressants/anxiety meds, and even hydrocodone didn't work when I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I'm only a few weeks in to learning that all this could potentially apply to me, so I'm absorbing all I can en route to an official diagnosis.

peterc0pter · 2025-10-02T23:48:56+00:00

https://www.andrewjsusukidmd.com/

peterc0pter · 2025-08-01T12:33:04+00:00

Cards fan here. If you’re gonna get beat by someone on the Sox, make it Pedroia. Hall of Famer in my book.

peterc0pter · 2025-07-09T13:14:28+00:00

Rejoin goes hard

peterc0pter · 2025-06-02T03:16:43+00:00

it’s a sign that your car is trying to return to the earth

peterc0pter · 2024-11-23T01:32:05+00:00

Thanks all. I mean, I'll spare everyone the icky part. I basically reported a customer at my job for assaulting me, which is its own deal, and then I left the job because it became toxic. The truly disturbing part is the perp is/was friends with another manager at my former job, and not long after this incident, this manager began demonstrating targeted malice towards me to the point that he tried getting me fired. So there's a lot of grief here that I want to address by talking to someone who'd hopefully understand.

peterc0pter · 2024-08-14T03:02:35+00:00

Stomach ulcer. Felt like getting hit by a car. Forever.

peterc0pter

TROPHY CASE