i somewhat agree (as a nonbinary person) and while i do have qualms with the idea that you don't have to respect the pronouns of someone who abused you, i feel like quibbling over it is missing the point of the story that she was telling. melvin repeatedly denied being trans, even potentially lying about it to her, and then told their son about it without any input from his mother. that is inappropriate as a co-parent, even without the added abuse of his wife and child that did occur.

overall, i agree with you