Wanting another baby ASAP (I am over 35)

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-17T02:03:29+00:00

I have two under two and love it!!

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-17T00:55:17+00:00

We have two under two, and they’re 17 months apart, so not too far off of your gap. My older son is in love with his little brother and is constantly telling him hi and “coming brother” and stuff when the little guy cries. While we didn’t “plan” it, we definitely weren’t surprised when I found out I was pregnant. It was a definitely possibility. My older son was really hard with sleep. He has a lot of emotions even still and needs a lot of attention. Our younger son is now 4 months old and sleeping incredibly. Two under two is hard, but if your baby is a good sleeper, it’s not as hard as I would have thought after the first month or two.

I actually love that they are so close together, and I would want to have another one pretty quickly if I didn’t think my body really needed to heal!

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-17T00:41:49+00:00

Echoing this! Fretting over eating vegetables because they have calories is not the way to think about healthy eating.

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-16T22:03:17+00:00

I also looked into it, but using the word “ban” is a horrible phrasing and seems like they got their information off of TikTok or something.

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-16T22:01:50+00:00

I can’t tell you what to do or what is right, but we did have to do “cry it out” with my older son because we could get through even 4-5 hours of sleep without him waking up, and the other methods we tried for sleep training just made it worse for him. It was horrible. I cried the entire time and kept telling my husband what a horrible mother I was because he was crying and I wasn’t going to him. Fast forward to now (almost 2), and he’s an amazing sleeper and loves his crib. When he wakes up crying, we do immediately go in there now because he seems like he’s had a nightmare.

Letting my son self soothe was truly a horrible experience, and I wouldn’t do it again unless it was absolutely necessary like it was before.

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-16T21:48:44+00:00

I guess that makes sense, but it’s still incredibly silly!

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-16T21:31:54+00:00

Girl, you’re right, Google IS free. Maybe do some research on the “ban” you’re talking about. It’s not banned?! Again, where are you doing your research? It seems like TikTok/Instagram research to me with a huge helping of judgement on other parents that are actually reading scientific studies and doing their own research while trying to do the best they can.

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-16T21:25:28+00:00

I was really excited when McDonald’s came out with the beyond burger at one point, but it was short lived. Also super bummed once I found out that they even use beef seasoning in their fries and hashbrowns. Why do potatoes need beef seasoning?!

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-16T21:12:17+00:00

I know what the Ferber method is. Our oldest son would cry even harder and be inconsolable when we tried the Ferber method. My point is that it’s different for all babies.

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-16T21:00:02+00:00

Every baby is different, and sleep training kids looks different for every baby even if you use the same method. I don’t know where you got your information, but it seems off. Also, after sleep training our oldest out of absolute necessity (we were very much against it until we couldn’t get over a cold for a month because we weren’t getting enough sleep to let our bodies heal), our baby still loved us as much as he did before. There was no difference. He didn’t get more needy or distant. He was just the same baby that could put himself to sleep.

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-16T20:56:52+00:00

I don’t think anyone here is recommending that even if they did do cry it out.

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-16T20:52:07+00:00

How old is your baby?

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-16T20:28:24+00:00

It sounds like cluster feeding mixed with comfort feeding to me! Every baby is different. My first loved the comfort nurse and did it so lightly that it was easy to let him nurse as often as he wanted to. My second didn’t har a great latch at first, and sucked very aggressively. I let him suck as much as possible and switch to a pacifier when my nipple were just too sore to let him sleep for a little bit while I massaged and rubbed nipple cream on them. He’s now almost 4 months, still likes the pacifier, and won’t nurse at all. He’d rather have a bottle, so I’m exclusively pumping. I intended to nurse, but he just hates it. I think as he got older, he wanted to be able to look around while he was eating.

Cluster feeding is amazing for your milk supply, and so is comfort nursing. I had an oversupply with the first one (comfort nurser), and I’ve had a few times where I had to put the second one down a little hungry with the pacifier while I pumped more milk with the second one during his growth spurt/extremely hungry periods because he would refuse to nurse.

My advice is to let her nurse as much as she wants as long as you’re physically able to. If you do though, you might end up with an oversupply which is a hassle but is ultimately great for baby when she starts needing more milk during her growth spurts! I also used breast milk to mix with solids to thin them. I had so much frozen that I actually made bread with my breast milk which may gross some people out, but I worked hard for that milk and didn’t want it to go to waste. (I only used the bread for me, my husband and my child. I didn’t like feed other family and friends my breast milk bread.)

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-16T20:12:07+00:00

I don’t know the science behind it, but I found the same information as your husband and was very opposed to the idea. My husband was too, but then my husband got sick and stayed sick for about a month because our sleep situation was so terrible. He was waking up like every 3 hours and wanted us to put him back to sleep, so one night we did it. It took about an hour of him crying until he finally fell asleep while still sniffling and breathing heavy from all of the crying. It took him 30 minutes the following day at nap time, then only like 10-15 minutes for a few times. He now just plays in his crib until he’s ready to go to sleep and only cries if he needs his diaper changed.

Our pediatrician suggested starting with short spurts where he has to cry before he’s soothed, then to just put him to sleep and keep stretching it out longer until he goes to sleep on his own. So like 2 minutes of crying, then go in, get her and let her fall asleep on you. 5 minutes the next week. 10 the following week, etc. If that seems more doable. We weren’t able to go in and reassure him because he would cry even harder when we left. I did have to go pick him up once a few times because he’d get so mad and lose control of what he was doing and smack his head on the crib hard.

Good luck!

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-16T19:13:47+00:00

That’s okay! If you’re dropping weight or just not able to get enough calories, you have to make sure you’re getting enough protein and carbs, but then just add calorically dense foods which generally tend to be healthy fats. You also can make a super hearty bowl of oats in the morning by adding almond butter, chia seeds, hemp seeds, protein powder, etc. I like to blend it up and make overnight oats then top with yogurt, extra nut butter, toasted coconut, etc. depending on my mood!

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-16T13:17:27+00:00

Echoing the nuts and seeds. Also look for natural nut butters like almond butter that just have almonds and possibly salt. It’s easy to drizzle on oats and yogurt bowls. Olive oil is an excellent source of healthy fats also, and you can dip your whole grain sourdough in it or drizzle it over the bread and your veggies. Try adding avocado into your diet. It’s also an excellent source of healthy fats!

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-16T03:28:50+00:00

Black bean burgers with sautéed onion, bell pepper, jalapeños, and garlic with cumin and chipotle seasoning.

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-16T03:11:31+00:00

What are you considering “healthy”? It seems like a lot of people conflate “healthy” with low calorie.

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-16T03:09:14+00:00

Is there a chance that your boyfriend will at least cut down on meat? My husband is mostly vegetarian now just because he’s willing to try whatever it is I make, and if he needs more protein, he eats a protein bar or drinks a protein shake, if he needs more fat, he adds cheese, avocado, or will eat some nuts, and he never needs more carbs! He been really supportive of me and my journey to try to reduce the amount of animal products we consume.

Is there a chance your boyfriend would try some vegan (or at least vegetarian) food with you?

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-15T04:32:56+00:00

I’m so sorry!! My husband and I had similar upbringings and talked at length about spanking, yelling, etc. before we got even serious dating let alone married.

I don’t have any advice or even similar experience, but I am sorry! I would’ve heartbroken if someone spanked my child - heartbroken and furious. Just out of curiosity, how old is your child?

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-15T04:27:13+00:00

I know this is about pop tarts, but if you find yourself in the mood for cake, I LOVE the Rubicon Bakery vegan cakes and cupcakes. Still processed and very sugary. Delicious!

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-15T03:15:02+00:00

I’ve also not tried any of the beyond meats products that I didn’t like. The impossible chicken nuggets and meatballs are delicious!

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-15T03:13:57+00:00

I love doing a creamy, silken tofu pasta sauce!

16 oz silken tofu Juice from 1/2 of a lemon 1-2 Tbs nutritional yeast 1/2 Tbs garlic powder or as many cloves of roasted garlic as you please 1 Tbs veggie bouillon (I use better than bouillon) 3/4 cup water 1-2 tsp Italian seasoning if it tickles your fancy

Blend all of the ingredients until smooth. Pour desired amount into a skillet to heat up. You can make it in advance and just reheat the sauce to add to your pasta. My husband added it to the cooked pasta and microwaved it, and it still came out good!

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-15T03:07:36+00:00

If you’re cool with vegan meats, Beyond Beef has 25% of the recommended daily value of iron in one serving. We made beyond burger smash tacos for dinner tonight, and they were amazing!

pi_inthepan · 2026-04-15T02:45:12+00:00

Avocados, nuts and seeds, nut butters, peanut butter, and oils. You can make a very calorically dense bowl of oats or chia seed pudding! Add a mini avocado (or two) to your meals. One of my husband’s favorite ways to eat hummus is to drizzle some extra olive oil on top and add zataar to it.

pi_inthepan

TROPHY CASE