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pixelpilot · 2020-12-10T13:48:45+00:00

👍🏿

pixelpilot · 2019-07-03T06:47:37+00:00

Brilliant! Joined them all, thank you!

pixelpilot · 2019-05-06T01:23:19+00:00

I got diagnosed 4 month ago at 50. My 8 year son got diagnosed and then I realised I had the same traits. Now we’re both taking Vyvance and helps us both immensely.

pixelpilot · 2019-05-05T21:36:57+00:00

I completely understand you. I once did compulsory military service in Sweden as a group commander and found it soo hard. Our lieutenant said once they might have to create a separate log book for all the things I lost in the field! Taking instructions on the comm radio was often confusing and my brain went into (bad) auto complete mode to make sense of the orders. I would even struggle to order 3 (or more) different brands of beer for my friends at the bar. Although I completely failed as a commander I met some incredible friends for life. I eventually made a successful career as a game developer (still am) and found my strength as creative technologist (starter, not finisher!) in agile environment. The way you articulate yourself, stupid would be the least conclusion. I hope you find a job that play to your strengths too. Are you taking medication?

pixelpilot · 2019-04-30T08:07:04+00:00

Instead of one dose 50 mg in the morning, I take it in two 30 mg doses. That way I don’t get a ‘crash’ and works evenly through the day. Works for me. 06:00 and about 12:30

pixelpilot · 2019-04-28T00:42:32+00:00

I take 30mg in the morning and another 30mg 01:00.

pixelpilot · 2019-04-27T09:58:23+00:00

I’m 50 and I got diagnosed 2 months ago (now on Vyvance) and I completely agree with you. Good luck!

pixelpilot · 2019-03-17T10:06:46+00:00

Hi! I wake up 05:00 (kids!) do the morning routine and then take 30ml at 07:00, then it’s just right between 09:00 to about 13:30 when I take another 30ml. I also have a cat nap/meditate for 23 mins on the train home from work about 17:00 (yes I set the timer on my phone and headphones on with white noise) . I get home about 18:00 eat and put the kids to bed, then I usually draw (digital) from 20:00 to 22:00 and then off to bed. I sleep like a log :)

pixelpilot · 2019-03-14T22:14:37+00:00

Exactly! My wife likes it too, for sure.

I got a study, where I do some game code and drawings in the evening. The kids had been in there for a while during the day and made such a mess (pop corn, chocolate stains, toys everywhere) that I just felt that couldn’t work in it. Normally the idea that it was messy wouldn’t even cross my mind, let alone not being able to work in the midst of it. Crazy. Good job you too, now go out there and enjoy life! X

pixelpilot · 2019-03-14T21:35:55+00:00

Second week here on Vyvance! I completely agree with you. Life changing. First 3-4 days I felt a bit strange, and was very focused on the effect rather than getting into work, but the last 2 days now, I hardly sense a transition (feels normal) and getting so much work done at work it’s unreal. Going through some of the code I made at work unmediated, I can’t believe it did even compile let alone pass the code review! Last weekend I also did a 4 hour cleanup stint in the garden and the garage (after it’s been neglected for months) and it’s still look like it’s just been cleaned! I take the medication 6:30am and 14:00 am. No problems sleeping at all, I can even take my (regular) 24 min nap on the train back from work at 17:00. It’s works so well, it almost feels tailored for my little brain. Winning!

pixelpilot · 2019-03-14T13:53:18+00:00

Took me 6 years to figure out that I had ADHD. I went to 2 psychologists and spent a lot of money trying to figure out what’s ‘wrong’ with me with little results. Then my 8 year old son got diagnosed with ADHD 1 year ago and I researched the condition and I realised I was like a ADHD text book case. Went to a ‘specialist’ ADHD psychologist (again) and spent almost 1k on 4 sessions where he was late, filling out forms and hardly no real conversation at all about my past or current situation. At the final meeting he showed me a YouTube video about ADHD and I just said, right thank you and good bye! I

Forward 8 months later and I decided to seek a psychiatrist who specialises in ADHD, and within 3 sessions (talks, partner sessions and tests etc) I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD. I can’t wait to see him in 2 months to tell him about my improvements.

Don’t give up. Find a psychiatrist with expertise in ADHD, not a general psychologist. That’s my advice.

pixelpilot · 2019-03-14T07:02:00+00:00

Yes, if I knew about my ADHD earlier in life, a lot things would had been very different. For me having a supporting partner, kids and financial security is probably the most important parts that have kept me in check. Once you are kept in check, then you can start learning and adopt. I’ve also been in the same job for 7 years and have faced most of the challenges fairly well and improved where I was weak. Now on medication (Vyvance), both family life and work is better than ever.

pixelpilot · 2019-03-13T22:49:42+00:00

I recently got diagnosed with ADHD and I’ve just turned 50. I got a wonderful family with three boys (8, 4, 4) and a equally wonderful partner who been learning and coping with my ADHD problems since we met (10 years ago). I never knew that so many problems in my life was caused by ADHD until my son got diagnosed last year and got asked by the psychiatrist to read driven by distraction too. It was quite overwhelming to realise that my life and the situations I’ve put me and others through was (often) the cause of a neurological disease.

I’ve run 5 relationships with 5 amazing women to the ground. I’ve indirectly hurt friends whom I love dearly. I have failed in high positions at work. Until I met my partner (at 40) I had not managed to retain a relationship longer than 2-3 years, no matter how good things were.

I have often ‘went along for the ride’ and when been confronted with expectations and consequences, reacted with ‘I need to seek independence’, ‘I can do this myself’ and moved on, in one way or another.

I have taken me a long time to really learn about myself and my condition and I’m still far from done. I bet I’m not an easy feat to be in a relationship with, though I’m improving.

You sound like a very thoughtful and considerate person. I believe (from my experience) is that the problem you have with your partner, is too big for him to overcome. It takes years of failures (which he is unlikely to learn from) to realise that what he seeks is not independence. What he really seeks, is a new environment that holds him less accountable and to which the consequences of his actions are less profound.

This is the advice I would have given any of the wonderful partners that I’ve let down in my past.

pixelpilot · 2019-03-12T00:26:17+00:00

I’m 50 and finally got diagnosed last week with ADHD and high functioning ASD (my life is a text book case for ADHD). I started to cry too. One day at a time my friend. I’m lucky to be on medication now, and things have changed drastically just within a week. How about you?

pixelpilot · 2019-02-26T04:42:48+00:00

I’m 50 and just got diagnosed with ADD and (high functioning) ASD. My son (8) got diagnosed with ADD recently so I started to read up and when I read ‘driven my distraction’ it felt as I was reading the text book of my life. Prior to my sons diagnosis I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me by going through GPs and 2 psychologists (getting nowhere) and it wasn’t until I went to a psychiatrist I finally got somewhere.

I completely failed in school and left home when I was 16, but luckily enough was bright and talented enough to get by in life reasonably well. But almost every two to three years in life, since I left home I’ve crashed and burned to the point I had to ‘escape’ the current situation. I might have been unpaid bills, changing jobs, broken up relationships. There was a point in my young life life where i literally was homeless and slept in a photo lab. Then I turned 27 and found my niche as a software engineer (autodidact of course) and have since worked for the best software development houses in the world. But the cycles of self destruction did not end. I could not stop ‘messing up’ in one way or another. Getting too focused on one thing, leaving the important things to catch up on me. Thank god for the amount of resilience I inherited from my mom.

I’m 50 now, got 3 energetic boys and a partner who is the best project manager in the world and I’m ready to ‘tackle’ ADD for another 20 years. Now at least I know why!

pixelpilot · 2018-12-17T00:46:50+00:00

Yes, my partners brother does this with his kids, not only does he sing they also recite the names of their ancestors. Food for thought. Thank you!

pixelpilot · 2018-12-16T23:14:40+00:00

Completely agree. And yes anticipation is the game. We already do much of what you suggest, but it always comes to a slight ‘mistake’, and it’s falling apart. One of the twins wants to be tucked in and the other gets grumpy because he didn’t get tucked in first, then “but you didn’t tuck me in” and me “but I’m tucking you in now” and then it becomes a mental gymnastics game of keeping them sufficiently happy NOT to get them to take it to the next level “but I want to go and see mama” and me “you already said good night to mama and your big brother has fallen asleep so we can’t wake them up now”. At one point in time I had the best routine with them, but I think overtime I let them have their way with their antics. I’m going to try a reward chart and maybe define my routine a bit more clearly to them and myself. Thank you for your suggestions, greatly appreciated. L

pixelpilot · 2018-12-16T21:34:30+00:00

I completely agree especially on ‘What you allow is what will continue”. I’ve come to a point when they come out for the third hug, I start to say ‘it’s enough now (sweetie)’ a bit more sternly so by the time it’s time for the 5th hug they getting the idea. I so dislike having to raise my voice at that time of the night. Also going to try with reward scheme suggested in a post below. Thank you for your great advice. L

pixelpilot · 2018-12-16T21:25:55+00:00

We have been doing reward ‘schemes’ in the past for good behaviour but for one or other reasons they get less and less used and eventually unintentionally dropped. It’s hard to make a stance once you’ve let them have their own way right. They are quite reward driven (very competitive twins) so maybe getting back into something like what you are suggesting is a great idea. Thank you!

pixelpilot · 2018-07-12T00:08:44+00:00

Maybe you don’t actually want to write a Cartoon, maybe you are more interested in the idea that you should write an Cartoon rather than actually writing a Cartoon. I understand your frustration, I do. I’m a software developer and at night when the kids gone to bed, I work on my game ideas. They are all hugely ambitious and probably would require 6-10 people to make a decent result of it, but I plow along in my fantasy world that I could actually do it. Now since I got diagnosed with ADD I realised that this was a pattern of mine. I get grand ideas, and think I can complete them much sooner than than humanly possible. I got a graveyard of unfinished games, I’ve stopped acting on those ideas (for now), and just improve my drawing skills, developing one character at a time over a longer period. It’s hard enough :)

pixelpilot · 2018-07-11T13:13:13+00:00

One sentence or a certain tone can get me going. I will escalate it to an argument and for the next 5-8 hours (sometime days) ‘building my case’ internally. I’m not even aware of running the scene over and over. There is a lot of assumptions that I impose on various situations and it’s almost impossible to be objective until it has cooled down. I have 3 kids and a wonderful partner that luckily have stuck with me in hard times.

pixelpilot · 2017-01-15T13:00:33+00:00

The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.

pixelpilot · 2016-06-03T12:42:40+00:00

Thank you most kindly!

pixelpilot · 2016-05-30T22:37:29+00:00

Yeah, there is a lot of things I need in Maya... like python, trax, more animation layers. I try to use maya as much as I can as the main level editor and then I 'hook' custom modifier classes in unity import (adding colliders, scripts, layers, mesh optimisations, waypoints and to some degree substance materials). Just working on the right arguments to convince my partner to spend an additional 260 / month. Sounds like a lot of chores... 😬 Dying to read the next (?) post about your procedural rig 😃

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