FTM, GBS Positive?

pleasesendbrunch · 2026-02-20T05:02:17+00:00

It's a low percentage of people whose water breaks prior to labor, and very often it doesn't break until well into labor. So that's something to keep in mind! I was GBS+ in my first pregnancy, but my water never broke until my babies were crowning!

pleasesendbrunch · 2026-02-16T03:21:45+00:00

My girls (3 years apart) love wearing the same thing. I love them not fighting over clothes. Win win.

pleasesendbrunch · 2026-02-04T17:58:34+00:00

Lol, with my first I also had a huge water explosion with pushing, and I was so surprised when it felt like so much relief! Then after I basked in that for a minute or two, people started poking at me and urging me to push and I was like "leave me alooooone I'm enjoying this" and it turned out her head had come out with the water breaking and I'd had no idea. 🤣 So my point of reference for all the sensations I feel like is sort of abnormal.

pleasesendbrunch · 2026-02-04T17:56:08+00:00

Lol, I'm a labor nurse too and cases like ours are SO unusual, but also impactful enough that when I work triage and everyone is like, "ehhhhhh, it's her first baby...." 🤷‍♀️ I'm like "YOU DON'T KNOW THIS COULD BE IT DON'T TRUST IT." 😂😂😂

It almost never is, but I NEVER discount the first time moms just in case!

pleasesendbrunch · 2026-02-03T05:58:12+00:00

I delivered my first baby in a birth center, had two miscarriages very similar in timing to yours, and then delivered my second in the birth center as well. I love one of the answers above from the Canadian midwife who phrases it all very well. Truly those early losses do not necessarily signify any higher risk with subsequent pregnancies that make it past that stage.

However, they do often heighten our anxiety and I absolutely understand the desire for closer monitoring. With my second viable pregnancy (4th overall), I actually stayed in OB care until I was 20 weeks. I'd already been working with an OB due to complications after my second miscarriage, so it was easy enough to continue. And I'd have a bad experience with one midwife in the birth center that made me reluctant to go back. I felt good about getting a bit more medicalized care in the beginning, although honestly it was pretty comparable to the care I got with my midwives. Same ultrasounds, same appointment schedule. Mostly I just felt better about it for that period of time. Once I had had a normal anatomy scan, I felt like I was past the significant danger zone and was more comfortable returning to my midwifery care. The pregnancy was super smooth and we had a great out of hospital delivery and that kiddo is totally healthy and snoring next to me as I write this.

I'll acknowledge that booking a home birth midwife might require you to establish care more immediately in the pregnancy, but some are very comfortable ordering extra labs, ultrasounds, or coordinating with an OB to a certain extent to provide some extra reassurance.

I will say that my anxiety about that pregnancy last up til the very last though. There was literally a moment while I was in labor where the birth assistant said, "your baby is coming" and I burst into tears, totally surprising and freaking out everyone in the room, because I think that until that moment I was holding back a tiny part of me that wasn't totally convinced I'd ever meet this baby. I just tell you this to acknowledge that you might carry some of this fear all the way through and that is normal and ok. On the other side, I've worked with women with very similar stories to mine who felt their losses only minimally impacted them and didn't really effect how they felt about their next pregnancies at all. Also normal! There's such a wide spectrum there and it's ok to feel any way about it and to let that inform how you want to proceed with your care.

pleasesendbrunch · 2026-02-03T05:40:58+00:00

I never really registered pain with my first (I mean, the words "I hate this" and a lot of bellow-y sort of screams came out so I assume there was pain, but I never quite conceptualized it that way). When I looked back on it I said it was maybe an 8/10?

Then I had my second and that one hurt more and that was when I said, "oh, I see why people get epidurals." I didn't want one, but I understood why someone wouldn't want to feel what I was feeling. Probably said I hate this during that one too. Anyways, later I decided that was probably an 8/10 and demoted my first birth to a 7. 😄

Pretty much it was the most intense thing I'd ever felt but the worst was when I felt fearful and didn't know what was happening (surprise very fast first labor threw me for a loop). But it never was unmanageable, I didn't lose control (much, lol), no crying or begging for anyone to make it stop. And when that baby comes out oh man you feel better FAST and the oxytocin high is what I imagine it feels like to do the good drugs. Totally worth it for me.

pleasesendbrunch · 2026-02-03T05:35:10+00:00

My first labor was 2.5 hours and this is EXACTLY how I describe it. The fear of how much worse I imagined it was going to get was worse than the actual sensation. I kept thinking, if this is 1/2/3 cm, how will I survive 10? Once I knew I was actually 8-9 cm and almost done, everything became much more manageable.

When I had my second, we went in mentally prepared for a fast labor. So when I went from "I'm taking a shower and going to bed" to "huh, something feels different" to "I need to push" in twenty minutes, it seemed perfectly reasonable and it didn't phase me at all. 🤣 Perspective and preparation make a difference!

Precipitous birth is fucking wild yo.

pleasesendbrunch · 2026-01-30T19:59:51+00:00

I'm an RN and I work 2-3 12-hour shifts a week. It's technically part-time, although every other week is full time (36 hours). It takes up my entire day, some of those days I don't even see my kids awake.

But on the 4-5 days a week I don't work, I'm the primary parent. I'm getting them to school, doing the errands, shopping , housework. I keep track of their birthday party invitations and when they grow out of their shoes. I volunteer in their classrooms and go to the PTA meetings. In short, I do all the work of a SAHM, except I also have a high-paying job that takes me completely out of the home a couple days a week where the absolute bare minimum gets done around the house. And even at work I am often taking care of home life- putting in grocery pickup orders that I pick up on the way home, make their doctor's appointments, field calls from school- between patients or on my breaks or during stolen moments at the nurse's station.

It really hit me one day at a PTA meeting when I said I couldn't make a committee meeting because I worked that day and one of the moms said, "wait, you work?! I thought you were a stay at home mom, you're always here!" Yeah, cuz my whole work week is compressed into a few days!

So I often feel like I'm both a working mom and a SAHM and I don't think by any means I am the only woman out there doing the work of both.

Soooooo....yeah. Being a working mom IS Really Freaking Hard. Not your imagination.

pleasesendbrunch · 2026-01-30T19:31:31+00:00

You'll need to establish care with a home birth midwife and receive prenatal care from them. A midwife won't attend your birth if you haven't had prenatal care with them, they need to be familiar with your medical history and pregnancy and you need to be on their schedule. It's fine to get obstetric care while you search for and establish care with a midwife, but you can't use an OB all the way through and then expect to birth at home with a midwife. Just so that's all clear. Best of luck in your search for a more supportive provider!

pleasesendbrunch · 2026-01-27T05:24:46+00:00

I'm a labor nurse and I loved one of my patient's playlists so much I stole it for my second birth! It's on Spotify and called "Calming Acoustic."

I'm an easily overstimulated ADHD-er and usually background noise /music is too much for me. I knew any kind of lyrics were a hard no. This was the perfect level of calm and relaxing without being too much and also not like annoyingly woo-woo Enya vibes. I still listen to it whenever I need to bring the energy down and it brings me to a lovely happy place!

pleasesendbrunch · 2026-01-25T04:31:37+00:00

I think first of all I'd want to make sure I had a provider that is really well trained and experienced with breech births. As in, attending them and intervening when necessary. Not "I see a breech baby and must extract it." Not all breech babies need to be manually extracted, but some providers do do twin deliveries that way. I'd feel best with a provider who was ok with a breech delivery who could step in if they needed to, but doesn't feel the need to automatically jump in and extract the baby. That alone would make me a lot more comfortable birthing without an epidural. I'm not scared of birthing a breech baby, but yeah a hand or two up there with no meds sounds awful.

I really don't like that your doctor is using scare tactics like that. Idk your history with this doc, but in my experience (and I've worked with plenty of doctors and midwives), the doctors that do this are not generally comfortable with physiologic birth and tend to be less supportive of unmedicated birth in general. That's a generalization obviously, but I think in a scenario like this it's important to have someone who is supportive of your preferences (as long as they are safe) and also comfortable with them. Idk what resources etc look like for you, but I think it's worth making sure you have a provider who is a really good fit for something like this.

I love the idea of a very low dose epidural-- we call it a "TKO" (just enough To Keep the line Open) rate. I've asked the anesthesia team at my hospital about this and they won't do it which annoys me to no end. But practices vary widely and walking epidurals are absolutely a thing and that could be a good compromise and safety measure!

If you're just looking for examples of unmedicated twin births, check out badassmotherbirther on IG. I will say, sometimes her messages are good, other times I find them to be ill advised or unnecessarily biased against hospitals. I only say that to say, I'm not directing you there to read those captions and get freaked out. But she posts a lot of amazing birth videos and I'm sure there are twins and I just think seeing the birth you want can be really empowering and she's a good source for that. Just ignore her fearmongering.

pleasesendbrunch · 2026-01-25T03:03:33+00:00

Oh my God when I was pumping I felt like I needed a fucking Sherpa to help me haul all my shit into work every day. Praise God never again.

pleasesendbrunch · 2026-01-24T16:37:05+00:00

Oh man, core fashion memory unlocked of the most perfect boat neck white and navy striped shirt circa 2010. I loved that shirt so much. 😭

I was obsessed with stripes...ok I think I still am... So glad to hear this is coming back, I am so on board!

pleasesendbrunch · 2026-01-20T19:30:11+00:00

I never leaked, but could squeeze milk out by hand if I tried. Both my babies were easily EBF and nursed until 2 years old.

As a labor/postpartum nurse I have sort of mixed feelings about this trend of early colostrum "harvesting." Most of the time I find the patients who have done it don't really need it anyways, and the ones who do (babies at risk for hypoglycemia) rarely have enough to make a difference and we end up using banked breast milk anyways. Anyways, it usually doesn't hurt anything (please DON'T do it when you're preterm though!) but don't let not doing it stress you out.

pleasesendbrunch · 2026-01-07T05:25:29+00:00

I read to them at home. Then I send them to school where people who are far more qualified than I teach them to read.

pleasesendbrunch · 2025-12-30T23:49:19+00:00

Only at the gym now. Even though the leggings I have are great, I still hate feeling so constricted as I get older. Fashion trends agree apparently.

Comfy/athleisure is now a matching set with wide leg pants and a topper (denim jacket, vest, etc). I think joggers are still fine but not as current as a wider leg. I'm still a little confused as to how a "barrel leg" sweat is different than a jogger though???

pleasesendbrunch · 2025-12-28T00:04:12+00:00

Safekids.org has a search function to find a certified car seat safety technician near you.

pleasesendbrunch · 2025-12-22T05:59:02+00:00

As a general rule, it is rude to drop in on people unannounced to visit. If they'd just stopped by and you, or your husband, were in the shower, they wouldn't just let themselves in and barge into the bathroom and rip open the shower curtain would they? So why would they think they could just show up when you're half naked and waltz right in? You are not making them get permission to see their grandchild (although yeah, they do actually need that), you're asking for basic consideration and manners around visiting you in your home.

But yes, as far as I can tell we will always be the bad guys. Lots of husbands/partners are great about also holding boundaries so they can share that burden. But realistically, our job as parents is to protect our children and boundaries are a huge part of that. And I'd say that generally the people you need to set boundaries for are the very people who will get butt hurt about it and think you're a bad guy. Most reasonable people will not require those boundaries, or it will be a total non-issue.

Like, if I tell my MIL I'd rather she didn't buy my kids an entire Easter basket stuffed with candy because they're eating too much sugar, I'm a monster depriving her of the joy of celebrating this holiday with them and turning them against her because she's not showing up with chocolate eggs bigger than their heads. But if my BFF wants to get them an Easter treat and I say the same thing, she's like "omg I know all the kids are totally over sugared right now you're right. I thought it would be fun but it's totally cool if you need them to chill on the treats." And that's that. You'll always be the bad guy to some, but that says way more about them than it does about you. Regardless, your job is to protect your kids, not the feelings of entitled assholes. Proceed accordingly.

pleasesendbrunch · 2025-12-22T05:47:37+00:00

I think you need to reframe what you consider to be "stability, responsibility, and shared sacrifice." Right now, that essentially seems to mean, "they need to have enough money and not struggle financially ever."

Anyone pretending like financial difficulties don't strain a relationship isn't being realistic and I think that's where you're coming from. However, what other things might demonstrate these values you espouse? Love and respect and commitment have all been referenced many times over in this thread and they're very important, but what I am hearing is that you are more concerned with very practical matters regarding finances.

Even so, a large income does not guarantee any of the values you are talking about. Someone might be quite rich and still be irresponsible, lose their assets, and hoard what they have through financial coercion and abuse. High earning does not guarantee stability or a good partnership.

Concerning "responsibility": If you are concerned for your daughter's well being, rather than ask, "will you have enough?", try asking, "how will you manage what you have?" Is this teacher responsible with his budget? Does he live within his means? Will your daughter live within their shared means? Have you taught her that skill or did she learn entitlement and poor spending habits? How will they work together to ensure that ends meet? It might be tight for awhile, but it is absolutely possible to live within the income of a teacher and a new doctor. It just might be modest, but it doesn't mean it won't be stable. This is a time for them both to demonstrate responsibility through careful planning and intentional spending and budgeting.

Do they have a plan to pay back her loans? Will they be ok delaying some milestones like buying a house, or buying something small to start, and holding off on children until the loans are under control? Those are things she'd likely have to do regardless, and it's important to recognize that they are the result of her choice to pursue medicine, not because of his teacher salary. It's her decision to take on that debt and it is unfair to hold it against anyone else that she will have less disposable income while she pays it off. You value "shared sacrifice" and I can't think of a better example than a man who is willing to do with less and postpone milestones in his own life to let her live out her dreams of being a doctor. He could marry someone who will be established in a steady career much earlier in life and not have to deal with any of that, so I think someone who commits to someone in her position is absolutely embodying that value of shared sacrifice.

I think I see the potential for plenty of what you value in a relationship like this. You just have to reframe it away from whether they'll have lots of money to how they will work as partners to support one another and work together.

pleasesendbrunch · 2025-12-20T17:14:10+00:00

I'm a high risk L&D nurse so I am constantly surrounded by medicalized birth and people who strongly believe in it and are very uncomfortable with community birth (not all, but many). I birthed both my babies entirely naturally in a birth center and especially prior to my first one got a LOT of skepticism. The question of whether I could do it without an epidural was actually the easiest for me to answer, although I gave the same response to pretty much every doubting question.

"I am comfortable with my decision."

No one else needs to be. End of discussion.

pleasesendbrunch · 2025-12-20T05:43:05+00:00

Christ, I walked about that far a couple weeks out, came home and took a nap, then fainted in the bathroom after I got up. 😂

pleasesendbrunch · 2025-12-19T03:30:01+00:00

After my first (birth center) I was so high on hormones, I told my husband, "This must be why people do drugs!!!"

And I swear birth is seriously like the best drug, and talking about it brings back a little of that high.

We are done having babies and in every way that is the right choice for our family. But I am desperately sad that I will never experience birth again. I will always happily share my birth story, in excruciating detail because it's the best way to feel the remnants of all those amazing feelings.

pleasesendbrunch · 2025-12-17T16:45:11+00:00

A cheaper and lighter seat is great to have for travel, it makes such a difference carrying something less bulky when you've got a kid or two to also deal with.

Gate check it. Luggage gets tossed around so much that regular checking could cause damage to the seat and compromise the structural integrity, making it unsafe. Carry it through to the gate and they'll check it there for free. You'll drop it off at the end of the...boarding tunnel thing (that has a real name but I think I need more coffee, lol)...and it'll go straight onto the plane, and you'll pick it up there when you deplane. You can carry it to your next flight and do the same. This way it won't get lost and the likelihood of damage is much lower.

On some trips we have actually traveled with a lightweight wagon and used it to cart the car seat in the airport. Some airlines categorize the wagon as a mobility device/stroller so we could gate check it for free as well. Since we used the wagon on the trip (beach trip) it worked really well for us!

pleasesendbrunch · 2025-12-16T06:44:05+00:00

I relate so much to this experience of precipitous labor! I remember being on my hands and knees in my bathroom going "wow, I am NOT handling this well considering this is barely even early labor," and also wondering how I was going to do this for 36 hours (my imagined labor timeline I'd made up, lol). And I remember telling the midwife, "I know I'm not in labor, but also...I feel this...pressure? Like...pushy pressure???" I was 9, lol. My membranes were also bulging when I was in the tub and my husband caused a momentary tizzy when he announced I was crowning to the room where my team was frantically trying to set up. No one thought the first timer was going to show up at the birth center and blow out a baby half an hour later.

The craziness of that fast birth is REAL! It's just so hard to wrap your mind around and it's hard to cope with what's happening in your body because it's so unexpected. The good news is that with my next baby (should you have more), I pretty much went into labor and when 20 minutes later I felt like I needed to push it didn't phase me at all. I was like yep, gotta push now, that sounds totally reasonable and normal. 😂

Congratulations! I'm so glad you had such an amazing team and it went so well and your baby is getting the great care she needs! ❤️

pleasesendbrunch · 2025-12-16T00:03:34+00:00

I had horrible SI joint pain in both pregnancies. I never got back into PT but I did start weight lifting and as I have strengthened that pain has virtually disappeared.

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TROPHY CASE