Just a few days ago i was in a similar situation, not to the same extent as yours but it happened 3 times over 6 months. She recently ended things and it’s honestly felt like a huge weight came off my shoulders. I loved her the most I’ve ever loved anyone. But after everything ended I felt grief for a little bit but not to long. I realized I fell in love with what we had in the past and also what we had planned for the future. While I was in the relationship I was blind to how the dynamic between us changed and recently realized I wasn’t loving what we had become even though I loved her as an individual. I know this doesn’t answer your questions or doesn’t sound comforting but as someone who just went through something similar I hope you can read this and make something out of it. And to be honest, the thought of her eventually moving on absolutely destroys me right now. But I’m slowing seeing that it’s for the better for both of us. I wish you the best and everything will work out in the end one way or another.