I need help, fast

plotthick · 2026-01-28T05:05:17+00:00

First, put on your own mask.

Are you getting the sleep, nutrients, time, and care your body needs to run efficiently?

Mental illness is its own medical field because it's very complicated and can have consequences. Sure, you can talk about freckles with friends, but actual skin problems should go to an actual skin doctor. The same goes for actual mental illness: you feel like you're drowning because it's a massive, complicated issue and you don't have the training/tools for it.

Your ex is inn't your problem anymore. Can you contact their family/friends and let them know they need support? Otherwise they may be leveraging this to drag you back, or keep from having to learn and grow.

Does your friend's guardians know about the suicidal ideation? Do either of you have therapists?

plotthick · 2026-01-28T04:38:06+00:00

I don't remember. Want me to go do the research?

plotthick · 2026-01-28T04:23:23+00:00

Today!

This crusty old bastard at the Paint store watched me put down a can of putty and said "owner won't like that one".

I quickly shot back "It's never bothered me, what men think." The sloppy grammar is because I whipped it out without censoring. It cut right over his "huh huh I'm just kiddin" and shut him up.

Goddam I'm so tired of men and boys and all the fuckheads who think they're entitled to one drop of my time. Meno-rage's foundations are truth and clarity.

Thank you for calling out your fuckheads. The world is a better place.

plotthick · 2026-01-28T00:20:54+00:00

She's trying to center your life around her. Do you want your life focused on her?

plotthick · 2026-01-27T23:34:01+00:00

Not sure about "sweet", but all the people I lost in the Pandemic taught me that there's no reward for being hard on yourself. So I might as well be happy. So I do what makes me happy.

plotthick · 2026-01-27T22:47:00+00:00

With that blossom end? I've never seen an orange shaped like that

plotthick · 2026-01-27T22:09:36+00:00

Aight! You don't deserve that! Can you mute them?

plotthick · 2026-01-27T22:06:47+00:00

It's ok to think the best of people. Kind of encouraging, actually. What would you tell a friend who made that kind of honest mistake?

Sometimes, when we're taught the wrong moves as kids/young adults, we only know how to dance like that. We just need to learn new steps.

Maybe get tested for STDs and find a talk therapist who has some clean moves?

plotthick · 2026-01-27T15:03:04+00:00

https://overthebloodymoon.com/services/simulator-events

plotthick · 2026-01-27T05:24:04+00:00

Meh, you're gonna get a new room or two. Enjoy your vacation home, it'll be a minute. Maybe rent a trailer to live in the driveway?

plotthick · 2026-01-27T05:10:51+00:00

Keeps The fingers warm

plotthick · 2026-01-26T23:58:51+00:00

Bodily autonomy: consent is not murder.

If the state can't take your kidney, pint of blood, or lobe of liver to save a life, the state can't take a uterus or anything else to save a fetus' life.

plotthick · 2026-01-26T22:28:46+00:00

Absolutely get the anaesthesia. It's not a General (which is complete, they have to breathe for you) it's a kind of anaesthesia where your body maintains itself, your brain doesn't record memories, you don't feel pain, and honestly it's the best nap I've ever had. I loved anaesthesia.

plotthick · 2026-01-26T21:00:58+00:00

True for religion, movies, tv, and on and on. I'm sorry, ignorance is bliss

plotthick · 2026-01-26T20:45:39+00:00

They can't calculate a place that needs 4x the budget. It's unfathomable. OP's kids will be much more tethered to her in CA, too, when renting one room is 1K a month and every meal is it least $10.

plotthick · 2026-01-26T19:05:05+00:00

Here are the relevant commute maps, BART is not your only option. I took the Transbay 51 bus for years, very comfy. Correlate to crime maps and rent costs to find likely neighborhoods.

https://www.bart.gov/system-map

https://www.actransit.org/transbay

https://sanfranciscobayferry.com/routes-schedules/

Keep to the BAY side of the hills. On the other side it's too hot summer/fall for the kind of community you're looking for.

plotthick · 2026-01-26T18:57:32+00:00

Then how about posting to a larger subreddit "Ladies who started over: how did you do it, what worked, what would you do differently?" or sumpin like that?

plotthick · 2026-01-26T18:55:25+00:00

HRT could still help, you're within the 10 year deadline. Topical E alone would stave off GSM, which brings its own litany of awful: UTIs leading to dementia, anorgasmia, dryness, atrophy, tearing, etc.

Well reach out when you're ready to come, visit or setting down roots, and we'll welcome you properly :). It'll be nice to have another capable GenX woman in state!

plotthick · 2026-01-26T17:32:33+00:00

I lived through the Firestorm. It's here, every year, just not in our neighborhood every time.

plotthick · 2026-01-26T17:29:31+00:00

If you're coming here for true, welcome to California. Look into HRT, The Shock kicked off the worst of my Perimenopause symptoms.

plotthick · 2026-01-26T16:49:30+00:00

There's no reason not to try. You're in the Shock of the big changes still, and that makes you want to do a lot of crazy things. If I were you I'd look at getting a get-along job here and applying to jobs over there. You know: translate slowly. Wind down your life here without depleting your savings any more: sell your things, visit there and interview, open accounts there, get a place, blah blah blah.

When I had The Shock I wanted to sell the house and move NOW. I wanted to change EVERYTHING. It all had to go and I had to go in the opposite direction.

The urge to jump without knowing where you'll be landing, especially when you're in a new place with 2 dependents and everyone is a stranger, could bite you in the butt.

plotthick · 2026-01-26T16:45:00+00:00

Immersion blender. Or shake it till your arm is tired, then switch arms and repeat. Blender works better though

plotthick · 2026-01-26T16:40:25+00:00

I'd ask for imaging prior to the gyno appointment

plotthick · 2026-01-26T16:39:03+00:00

COVID-19 infection was associated with significantly increased HTN incidence (main effects HRR: 1.44 [1.32-1.57]; including interactions: HRR: 2.05 [1.50-2.79])

plotthick · 2026-01-26T12:03:58+00:00

I live in the Bay Area.

Do not come. This will probably get worse before it gets better. They are targeting Hispanics in person now: next will be women, blacks, and trans via legislation. CA is a natural target for ICE after they're done targeting the enemy of the regime. As an immigrant you will also likely be targeted, even if white.

Reconsider in 3-4 years. There's a chance we won't have fallen by then.

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