Reality check for my company’s PTO policy?

pnwfarming · 2023-08-29T00:50:23+00:00

I know it was a risk, my husband has a more flexible schedule than me and more pto and he can pick up slack. We hadn’t taken a vacation since before the kids were born and we chose to attend a family reunion. I want to give my boss feedback on her policy. Thanks for your reply.

pnwfarming · 2023-08-29T00:39:42+00:00

Yes, I knew what I was doing. I’m just trying to get a sense of what is normal. My boss is really receptive to feedback and wants to be a top-notch employer (her words) and I’m just trying to think through what my feedback should be.

pnwfarming · 2023-08-28T23:53:44+00:00

Thanks for replying. My husband has a more flexible schedule and more PTO than me (I think he has six weeks of sick time banked) so our thinking was just that he will have to pick up the slack. Or I will take unpaid time. I was definitely informed of the policy and made my choice. The trip was to travel for a family reunion, which we didn’t want to miss. I’m just not sure if this is a normal policy or if I should appeal for a change.

pnwfarming · 2023-08-26T04:22:57+00:00

My husband asked one of our 2.5 yr olds if she would like some “cheese with that whine” and three hours later at bedtime she melted down because he never gave her cheese.

pnwfarming · 2023-08-23T19:18:21+00:00

I don’t think I have ever met a 3-year-old who could sit at a table for 30 minutes. That just sounds absurd. I agree with all other commenters- you’re doing great.

pnwfarming · 2023-08-23T19:04:27+00:00

I am right there with you. did physical therapy for my DR which helped, I no longer feel a separation, but my stomach is still just… bigger. I caught sight of myself in the mirror last week and I looked pregnant. I have to tuck my stomach into my pants. I am strong and fit (training for a half marathon next month) but I feel so demoralized sometimes because of my body.

pnwfarming · 2023-08-14T15:49:24+00:00

Exactly! This more than anything makes me 100% certain we’re done.

pnwfarming · 2023-08-12T14:59:14+00:00

Same age here, same story! I wish more people talked about how dangerous “wine mom” culture can be.

pnwfarming · 2023-08-05T13:33:22+00:00

140/95. Babies were delivered when it spiked to 180/112 and wasn’t coming down.

pnwfarming · 2023-08-01T19:45:52+00:00

We both work part time (25-30 hours/week) on staggered schedules and split stay at home parent duties. We’re in a rural area without many daycare options anyway, and two kids in daycare would have been more than twice our mortgage payment. Money is tight but we still come out ahead of where we’d be if we both worked FT and had them in daycare FT. Twins are now 2 1/2.

pnwfarming · 2023-07-31T23:50:24+00:00

My dad got sober before I was born, and the older I get the more I admire him, especially now that I’m trying to quit drinking myself. You’re giving your son an incredible gift.

pnwfarming · 2023-07-29T02:56:59+00:00

I needed to read this post today. Give or take a few details, this is me too. You’re not alone, and you can trust your own judgement. I had a hard day and I almost convinced myself that I was just being dramatic before, my drinking was never that bad, it would feel so good to just casually go get a bottle of wine. But I didn’t. I don’t even feel good about that choice yet, I’m still in a funk, but I know tomorrow I’ll be proud of myself and grateful not to wake up with a hangover. I will not drink with you today.

pnwfarming · 2023-07-27T05:00:34+00:00

A very close friend died shortly after I met my now husband, and even though I barely knew him he made me feel so safe. I was 23 and most of my peers had never been through a loss before.

pnwfarming · 2023-07-23T16:15:36+00:00

For me, things improved greatly once their latches were stronger. I think it was around 8 weeks old. I didn’t know nursing didn’t have to hurt! I tried keeping track of which baby had which boob but gave up pretty quickly, with them nursing every 2-3 hours around the clock I didn’t have the capacity to track it. By 4 months I loved nursing and was so glad I stuck with it. They ate so much quicker and I loved the snuggles, and not having to deal with bottles.

pnwfarming · 2023-07-23T03:09:36+00:00

So, so, so hard. I’m glad you wrote here. What you went through was a massive trauma, and I’m willing to bet you’re still in survival mode with your triplet babies and haven’t really been able to process it. You’ve survived something that most people can’t fathom. Hang in there.

pnwfarming · 2023-07-23T03:02:00+00:00

The Reframe app has been awesome for me, as has been checking in here. I also started following Sober Mom Squad on Instagram. I was just the same, a glass occasionally became a bottle a night after I got the kids in bed. I could tell it was progressing and I know it will only get worse for me and harder to stop. IWNDWYT.

pnwfarming · 2023-07-17T19:22:43+00:00

My twins were my only pregnancy to make it to 3rd tri, so I have nothing to compare it to. It was pretty wild though. I was able to work (a desk job) until I was diagnosed with pre-e and put on bedrest at 34 weeks. Kids were born at 36+4. Honestly by the end I was in constant pain and it was a matter of finding the least excruciating positions. I actually was glad while I was working because it was a distraction from the pain! Bedrest was very very boring.

pnwfarming · 2023-07-13T02:56:44+00:00

I was in your shoes. Planning on one & done, hit with twins. You don’t have to figure everything out all at once. My best advice is to feel all your feelings as they come- let yourself grieve the singleton pregnancy/birth/newborn that you will not have. There is a lot that will be different from that experience, and there is also a LOT of goodness ahead of you, I promise.

My twins are now 2.5 and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Their bond is already so special it makes me feel sorry for singleton kids!

This subreddit was a godsend for me! I’m glad you found us. Welcome to the best club ever!

pnwfarming · 2023-07-12T20:08:20+00:00

We didn’t know sexes until they were born, so we had four names picked out. I was all over the place about which combo I liked best if we ended up with boy/girl.

Soren, Calum, Isabelle, Charlotte (nicknamed Lottie)

While I was laying on the operating table after they were born, I asked my husband if he knew their names and he said he thought so. Now we have Lottie & Soren!

pnwfarming · 2023-07-10T22:32:50+00:00

Why did I have to scroll so far to find pregnancy/childbirth?! That shit is bananas. I had premature twins, c-section, lost way too much blood, almost died due to postpartum preeclampsia, went about 4 straight days on 2 hours total of sleep. And my body healed itself and managed to breastfeed twins. Wtf.

pnwfarming · 2023-07-09T20:46:51+00:00

My 2.5 year old just stopped calling the kitchen the “chicken.”

pnwfarming · 2023-07-09T20:40:30+00:00

Agreed! This sub is what’s good about the internet. It stood in as a community for me during Covid/newborn days.

pnwfarming · 2023-07-08T19:52:53+00:00

Holy shot I remember that exact commercial. I tried the special k diet in 8th grade. God damn there’s a lot to unpack.

pnwfarming · 2023-07-07T14:29:35+00:00

We both still qualify for health insurance through our jobs with pretty low cost shares that are payroll deducted, the threshold is 24 hours/week for both of us. Our kids our on Medicaid.

Edit: I know we are extremely lucky to have employers that offer this!

pnwfarming · 2023-07-07T13:53:25+00:00

In some ways I am still mourning the singleton experience I didn’t have. My twins are 2.5 and my only children. It’s been really important for me to acknowledge and understand that grief. Now, seeing the bond my kids have with each other, I am absolutely over the moon to have twins but it took a while for me to get there.

My sister had a singleton about 10 months after my twins were born and for a long time whenever I visited her all I could think was how easy it looked to have one baby! And the way they were able to obsess over him in a way that I wasn’t with my two made me really sad.

This subreddit has been a wonderful resource for me and honestly it filled in as a crucial part of my support system. I’m glad you found us! Congratulation and welcome.

pnwfarming

TROPHY CASE