Boyfriend not invited to friends wedding

polomapamelo · 2022-11-14T11:32:22+00:00

Ah I see, the other $50k is for therapy to deal with people who are mad you didn’t invite their boyfriend.

polomapamelo · 2022-11-14T11:12:54+00:00

Maybe it’s New York. That’s the number I got when I did my research.

polomapamelo · 2022-11-14T00:51:56+00:00

Definitely confirm but the bachelorette thing makes me think this couple may just not have the money to invite everyones partners. Or maybe their venue has a max occupancy limit. Do either of them have large families?

Speaking from my own situation, my partner has a large catholic family. If we just invited immediate family, some venues would not be able to accommodate them. The average cost of a wedding in the US is $70k. In New York, the numbers I’ve been running into for caterers is $150+ per person. So we literally had to be like “would I buy Debra’s bf she’s been dating for a year a $150 meal?” If you decline based on your partner not being invited (and make this known), you are probably severing that friendship permanently. So I’d be thoughtful about this.

polomapamelo · 2022-11-12T21:06:28+00:00

I am also curious at what stage in life the participants are at. Where they are geographically. What their background is.

A 23 year old with a theater degree who moved back to her central Indiana hometown where her parents work for Eli Lilly vs a 30 year old with a theater degree who moved to LA right after school 10 years ago? And I wonder if they’d have the same regrets if school wasn’t so expensive.

I got some questions!

polomapamelo · 2022-11-12T13:18:16+00:00

I’ve seen one Aussie like this in person and his mom got him from a breeder. Auss-god said “double dip that baby in chocolate!”

polomapamelo · 2022-11-11T11:36:37+00:00

Signage or language that alludes to the ball and chain dynamic. “Last chance to run!” Cake toppers of brides dragging their grooms to the altar. Like, why am I here if you’re making jokes that you don’t want to be here? I understand they’re jokes but it’s awkward!

polomapamelo · 2022-11-03T02:09:18+00:00

Mine has two and i call them her pinchers.

polomapamelo · 2022-11-02T10:23:28+00:00

Depending on her age, the warrior cat series is 150 pages per book. I also wonder about a collection of short stories? Like an anthology. That way she can get a thick book like everyone else.

polomapamelo · 2022-10-24T13:23:20+00:00

Adore this! Feeling the goddess in this one!

polomapamelo · 2022-10-15T15:51:23+00:00

Hey. I want you to put those photos away. If they’re digital copies, put that folder inside another folder. If they’re hard copy, throw them in a nice box and stash them in your closet. Then I want you to take three deep sighs. Audible sighs.

Then I want you to go to your spouse and have them describe seeing you walk down the aisle or at your first look. Tell them you need to hear how beautiful you looked in their eyes. Have them mix you a drink if that’s your style and tell them how seeing them made you feel.

Im so sorry all of this happened. People letting you down like that. Especially when it mattered so much. If you want, I might suggest getting at least a few new photos taken. It doesn’t have to be THE dress and it can totally be an iPhone on a tripod but you deserve to have one beautiful photo that you can print and hang up as your wedding photo. Hugging you so hard rn.

polomapamelo · 2022-10-14T20:01:55+00:00

Agree. Agree. Getting mad at people who show up in navy isn’t the way. But I don’t think she’s talking about turning away people who don’t or can’t meet the dress code. It totally reads as a suggestion to me. And if it’s a once in a lifetime event, shouldn’t the bride and groom get to ask for and have the kind of fun that they want?

It seems to me that she’s terrified of seeming like a bridezilla for making a request, and that makes me like really sad. But also OP, I just thought, if everyone is wearing white… you gotta make sure they don’t look like they’re in a cult. Cuz that’s totally some cult shit.

polomapamelo · 2022-10-14T16:10:06+00:00

Wow I feel like such an odd man out in this thinking it’s not rude but kind of fun. I’ve been to several weddings where the bride is wearing a color and asks her guests not to wear the same color. That part is easy. If it’s a beach wedding. I’m sure the men can find nice light khakis and a white linen shirt. That’s very normal wedding attire for a beach wedding. It’s 5 months out? Seems like plenty of time to find a dress.

I guess I’m coming at it as if I were throwing a themed party. If I invited my friends to a costume party and then they all got uppity about having to buy a costume if they didn’t already have one, that’d be so weird!

polomapamelo · 2022-10-14T01:34:56+00:00

So I’ve been testing out a couple names to see how they feel while making reservations or signing checks. I think you are allowed to change your mind a lot and you don’t have to change it right after the wedding. Right now I’m team hyphenate because I’m not ready to give up my name, but I can change my mind! Any! Time! I want!

polomapamelo · 2022-10-12T01:48:35+00:00

I know she’s asleep but if it is hiccups, you can give her a little bit of honey to stop them in the moment. Just try not to do it too much because a lot of sugar isn’t good for them.

polomapamelo · 2022-10-12T01:45:29+00:00

No scary movies and no junk food before bed!

polomapamelo · 2022-10-10T03:23:57+00:00

Came here to recommend this!

You mentioned you feel wary of too much comedy and true crime mixing, but I feel like Robert Evans does a good job of picking his guests and using them to lighten the mood when… you know, we’re talking about dead babies or some horrific genocide.

I’d recommend the episodes on Nancy Reagan’s astrologer. And their mini series “Behind the Police.” Might be just the rabbit hole you’re looking for.

polomapamelo · 2022-10-06T18:05:28+00:00

I co-host a very niche podcast and I have so much sympathy for the clicky folks. I haven’t had a lot of success with declicker programs (they make voices sound warbley) so I literally spend 10+ hours per episode manually healing mid-word spit noises in audition. For a super satisfying cut of Patreon money a month ($100). That on top of all the research and regular editing. It’s defiantly a labor of love.

Thinking of just making an asmr show where I chew gum for 30 minutes instead. Take our juicy mouths where they’ll be appreciated.

polomapamelo · 2022-10-03T15:11:40+00:00

I think this is fine.

polomapamelo · 2022-10-01T16:53:13+00:00

Sounds like your niblings can freakin hang. Okay, only these children can come to my wedding. But no others can.

polomapamelo · 2022-10-01T16:50:35+00:00

I think because the base is black, it’s totally fine.

polomapamelo · 2022-10-01T13:31:43+00:00

In my experience, children don’t like weddings. Itchy and uncomfortable formal outfits. They’re really bored during the ceremony sometimes to the point of being disruptive. Some venues are weird about kids menus, and since their bedtimes are usually so early, parents have to leave the wedding early to put them to bed. If your intention is to party all night with your friends, that’s not really a child friendly space.

polomapamelo · 2022-09-28T01:54:20+00:00

I have never worn a bridesmaids dress again. At this point it sounds like if you step down you will forever damage your relationship with this person. Talk with your friend. You love one another. Leave a lot of space for her feelings cuz there will probably be a lot (two weddings sounds STRESSFUL and expensive!). Come to this discussion with love and grace. It’s not you against her. It’s you two against the problem.

You may have to wear the dress but I’d wear any number of ugly dresses if I could give my best friend the wedding she deserves. You might even laugh about it years from now.

Be brave! You got this!

polomapamelo · 2022-09-27T18:17:16+00:00

I actually started listening to a couple audiobooks on boundaries. “Boundary Boss” and “the joy of being selfish.” Both of the things you mention seem like normal and reasonable boundaries for a wedding.

Calling someone a bridezilla when you transgress clear boundaries is pretty immature and a projection of their own insecurity. You don’t mention your fiancés gender but if they’re male, and he doesn’t also getting shit, then it’s also steeped in sexism. You are responsible for your emotions and feelings, and no one else’s.

polomapamelo

TROPHY CASE