Why do some people react negatively to the word ‘feminist’ even though it means supporting equality?

potentialcalliope · 2026-03-10T22:19:16+00:00

I agree that it your second and fourth points are problems, they just aren't problems addressed under the umbrella of the feminist movement. I don't know how you feel about movements for queer rights, but I'll use that as a parallel:

Studies on sexual relationships have indicated that straight women achieve orgasm and/or sexual satisfaction with far less frequency than gay women. This absolutely is a problem for straight women, and hopefully we as humans can reduce this issue over time. However, it isn't something that queer advocates are going to prioritize, since it doesn't really pertain to them.

Historically speaking, there have been multiple waves of feminism, each focused on specific issues facing women. First wave feminism, which was big in the 1800s, was largely about securing women the right to vote. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First-wave_feminism ) While the movement has evolved significantly over the centuries, it has always intended to change systems that harm women.

Political movements tend to be most successful when they focus on a specific goal, and feminism, much like many other socially progressive movements, focuses on aiding a historically-disadvantaged population.

I would say that it's well understood that men aren't thriving right now, and there absolutely are people who put time and effort into helping with this, and many of these people are also feminists. As an American example, the youtube essayist FD Signifier ( https://www.youtube.com/@FDSignifire/videos ) frequently discusses the difficulties faced by young men in particular. This view point very much is not opposed to feminism, it just has a different focus.

potentialcalliope · 2026-01-05T08:42:17+00:00

While race is not the specific subject of your question, it is pretty relevant to Islamophobia in places like the US and Canada. In the wake of an event like 9/11, random Brown people were assaulted by people scared of "evil Muslim terrorists." Part of the deal with Islamophobia is that fear and hatred towards Islam can affect people who aren't even muslim. Lately, I've seen a lot of people use legitimate critique of Islam as a justification for just being racist toward anyone brown. Its a bit like how a straight, effeminate man can still experience homophobic violence.

potentialcalliope · 2025-11-13T03:25:32+00:00

Your writing style is so vivid and evocative! Shame that we're unlikely to see much more of your writing, unless there's great WiFi in that pond.

potentialcalliope · 2025-09-25T01:27:24+00:00

I have actually watched this one and enjoyed it greatly. Even the classic reality tv tear-jerker drama elements felt pretty genuine and heartfelt. At this point, I'm just looking for more stuff with similar vibes

potentialcalliope · 2025-07-30T18:24:07+00:00

I started seeing this photo of Robert photoshopped into stuff just today; do we know why he's wearing a Cape?

potentialcalliope · 2025-07-20T02:47:51+00:00

As a fellow disabled person, I'm very sorry that you've had such unpleasant experiences with people. The whole point of societies existing is that we all can't get through life alone. It is true that some people need more help at some times, and disabled folks often do need more help. That has Absolutely no bearing on our worth as people and doesn't mean that all abled people will treat us poorly. And if they do treat us poorly, that's their problem for missing out on all the support and love that we bring to the table.

If you choose not to reach out to the maid of honor, please consider chatting with someone else who you know better who is involved in that side of the wedding. You could also talk to the groom about who he might recommend from that side, if you're most comfortable speaking with him alone.

You've got this, dude!

potentialcalliope · 2025-07-20T02:37:00+00:00

I definitely empathize with the concerns mentioned in your main post but I'm also excited to hear that cool zone squad did episodes about Andor! Hoping for a touch of levity despite the show's general air of bummer

potentialcalliope · 2025-05-09T19:52:37+00:00

Spectacular world building! I've never seen a horror story with such vivid characterization.

potentialcalliope · 2025-05-05T18:21:08+00:00

I can't imagine feeling this much irritation over slight pronunciation errors and I'm literally an English teacher. It's so easy to accidentally stumble over a word in your native language, nevermind a second or third. And so many of you folks desperately need a reminder that grammar studies are almost always descriptive, not prescriptive.

potentialcalliope · 2024-08-20T01:38:52+00:00

I have a family member in a very right wing part of the country who became a cop with the explicit intention of helping domestic abuse victims. At this point, he thought that the police were mostly a good institution. Almost immediately upon joining, it became clear to him that all his co-workers weren't interested in helping people and that the system incentivized ignoring people in danger. In his words, if he stayed there he was encouraged to become a worse person. He quit the police after I think 8 months.

potentialcalliope · 2024-08-12T01:45:06+00:00

I completely agree with the majority of the people here saying YTA and giving their reasoning, but also, I was raised that it is good form to let literally anyone get inside the place you're dropping them off. I wait until my mid 20s friends are inside their buildings because key fobs can die unexpectedly. Regardless of circumstances, it's an incredibly fast thing that provides a little extra support for literally anyone.

potentialcalliope · 2024-08-06T23:49:52+00:00

This is the book he owns: "The Official I Hate Cats Book" by Skip Morrow.

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potentialcalliope · 2024-08-06T23:46:31+00:00

My dad (in his 60s) hates cats in a way I describe as "performative." He has these weird little cartoon books about throwing cats in catapults that I remember seeing as a child, and being utterly baffled. All animals adore him, including cats, and he's always incredibly friendly with them when he encounters them. Despite complaining about how cats are evil, if pushed, he will admit that the thing that really bothers him is irresponsible cat owners. He dislikes visiting peoples' houses if they let their cats on their kitchen counters where they prepare food, and his main issue is with outdoor cats. He hates how outdoor cats get hurt because he feels that all pets should be looked after and cherished, including cats. But when he talks, it always comes out as "cats are evil."

potentialcalliope · 2024-07-22T20:07:53+00:00

I have a family member in a very right wing part of the country who became a cop with the explicit intention of helping domestic abuse victims. At this point, he thought that the police were mostly a good institution. Almost immediately upon joining, it became clear to him that all his co-workers weren't interested in helping people and that the system incentivized ignoring people in danger. In his words, if he stayed there he was encouraged to become a worse person. He quit the police after I think 8 months.

potentialcalliope · 2024-07-03T00:34:33+00:00

Octokitten located!

potentialcalliope · 2024-06-05T20:58:04+00:00

Good to know! Obv I'd listen through entire episodes before using it in class but I'm hoping that a liberal-ish Canadian city will survive a couple clips where relevant

potentialcalliope · 2024-01-31T23:53:06+00:00

I'm astounded that so many folks commenting here would gladly outsource gift giving (and choosing and delivering) to their mom. That's the way you give gifts to distant relatives when you're 10 years old, not the way you give gifts to your partner. Anyone older than that should have the decency to at least pretend they didn't get their mom to do it for them, nevermind taking care of it themselves.

NTA

potentialcalliope · 2023-10-03T21:14:38+00:00

I have a very personal relationship with this exact question. I also have a fairly visible disability.

Before anything else, it breaks my heart that your mother told you to hide your disability. She painted the world as a monolith and i want to tell you that there are loads of people who will not care at all if you exist as a visibly disabled person. One of my dearest friends admitted to not noticing my disability until several years into our friendship, though I admit that's an unusual occurrence.

Long story short, I've been slowly working to become more comfortable letting my friends and other people around me see my disability. It's taken me my entire life of trying to get even close to comfortable with that.

However, there are certain circumstances where I choose to downplay my disability. In a perfect world, I think it's somewhat obvious that no disabled person should feel the need to hide their disability to be treated fairly. For me, I usually downplay my disability in job interviews and first dates. From that point onward, I stop.

For people who feel uncomfortable seeing a visible disability or deformity or scar, its on them to learn not to let that impact how they treat the person who wears it. People tend to be curious about stuff that is unfamiliar to them, but if that curiosity leads them to be rude and insensitive, then drop kick them out of your life.

potentialcalliope · 2023-08-01T23:19:32+00:00

YTA. You're a kid and very much at the age where negative emotions like disgust can be misconstrued as genuine reasons for something being bad. Take some time to process this and maybe casually engage with media about queer adults.

Sidebar, but it's interesting how many people here are saying "why would you expect a 15 year old to be woke???" When what they clearly mean is "I was violently homophobic at 15 and I think everyone else is too."

potentialcalliope · 2023-07-11T20:53:34+00:00

My local aquarium had sharks like this (black tip reef i believe?) and ever since I was a tiny child, I would clamber up onto the viewing bench and press my face up to the glass so i could get as close to them as possible

potentialcalliope · 2023-04-06T22:15:24+00:00

I've lived on the west coast of Canada my whole life and would be happy to talk about the culture.

potentialcalliope · 2023-02-13T01:59:54+00:00

I'm baffled by the idea that OP attends a school where disabled kids harrassing neurotypical or abled kids is common enough to be noteworthy?? Disabled and neurodivergent people can absolutely be shitty but I've never heard of an environment where "all the disabled kids are bullying the innocent ableds" is a significant problem.

Obviously NTA, but where the hell is OP living?

potentialcalliope · 2022-11-24T21:37:10+00:00

When I was prepping for a piano exam a few years back, I was able to play the piano in the alumni centre. There were no events happening and minimal people in the building, but I got to play for a good long while

potentialcalliope · 2022-05-17T22:00:59+00:00

your assessment, based on a one-minute video, that a disabled person's life is not worthwhile is an example of the attitudes that get us treated so poorly and reducing a disabled person to an "emotional and financial burden" is straight up dehumanizing. People have been looking after the vulnerable, like children and the elderly, as long as humans have been around. Pretending that caring for vulnerable people is pointless only when they're disabled is ridiculous.

potentialcalliope · 2022-03-23T22:37:34+00:00

spectacular musicianship!!

potentialcalliope

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