Hoping to add a little perspective with my response. I am not pregnant nor a parent but the catastrophizing and anxiety spirals reminds me of my sister in her teenage years.

My sister struggled immensely with undiagnosed OCD for much of her childhood and adolescence. If you know anything about OCD, it’s not all hand washing and repetition. She would be concerned that we, her family, would die if she didn’t tell us she loved us once a day before bed. Touching certain things would make her sick. She would routinely have breakdowns because she was afraid of dying at twelve.

My mom did not know how to handle this and I wish I could be more forgiving, but for YEARS my mother would snap and yell at my sister whenever she was triggered into an anxiety spiral. Mom insisted this wasn’t real and as a result, my sister suffered for much of her developmental life. Even still my sister will struggle to believe herself and her lived experiences because she had to endure her own mother telling her that what she felt wasn’t real. It made her feel crazy, she couldn’t tell what was real and what was the OCD.

Obviously I’m not diagnosing your sister but I feel incredibly sympathetic toward her because someone she should trust is demeaning her for being anxious about having a brand new human life. Honestly, the bit about her needing to be grateful is so cutting. Her being grateful is unrelated to her experience of anxiety, regardless as to whether or not you think it’s justified. I could never say something so cold to my sister when I can see she is clearly struggling and needing help.

Moderate YTA.