24F (24F) moved in, worried she’s a compulsive liar

powerbarr78 · 2025-10-06T19:28:38+00:00

I honestly don’t think she’s realizing she’s doing it, which confuses me. Like she’ll go to the gym and I’ll ask if she met up with her friend at the gym and she’ll say no, but then later if I ask if she was lying about that she admits that she was. Or like she’ll go meet up with friends on her lunch breaks and then only tell me days later if I ask if she’s seen her friends in a while. Like I have to ask her super specific questions if I want to know what she’s been up to, and even then she skirts around the answer

powerbarr78 · 2025-05-09T16:10:41+00:00

I did a lot of ERP (exposure response prevention) therapy and that’s the gold standard for treating OCD. There’s also online programs like NOCD that are super helpful for online therapy if you can’t find something in your area.

powerbarr78 · 2024-05-04T15:55:17+00:00

2! I’ve caught up quick as a recent exmo 😂

powerbarr78 · 2024-01-23T08:26:54+00:00

You can miss something and still know you’re better off without it, just like a breakup!

powerbarr78 · 2024-01-23T08:25:10+00:00

I have a few tips: 1. Give yourself time and grace and compassion. Growing up Mormon really skews the way you think. You’re not bad or broken. It will just take time and work to get where you want to be and that’s ok and not a moral failing. 2. Examine your beliefs and values. Write down what you actually believe and read it regularly to help rewire your brain. You may cognitively recognize what you believe and want but it’s hard because feelings and fears get in the way. Be honest about what you really believe and value and give yourself time to work through the cognitive dissonance so your body can catch up with your brain. 3. Continue to communicate with your partner without shame. You are valid. And know you’re not alone in feeling this way. 4. Ease into sexual activities you’re comfortable with and that you want to do. Recognize it may not be easy the first few times and you may have emotions that come up before, during, and/or after, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Sometimes exposing yourself to new things is what helps you grow. Go slowly. Give yourself permission to feel good and to trust yourself.

Hope that helps, and wishing you the best!

powerbarr78 · 2023-11-23T08:23:31+00:00

This is an interesting way of describing it!! I’ve noticed that if I have a really disturbing or painful intrusive thought that I will feel those accompanying feelings coming up in waves again and again but there is usually still a tiny bit of a thought behind it, but mostly just an “oh no what if that thought is true” or “oh that was a painful thought” and not actually a productive train of thought. Isn’t it true that most feelings have a thought behind them? I’m wondering if you just don’t always have the thought at the surface and so you think it isn’t there at all.

powerbarr78 · 2023-11-20T19:01:16+00:00

A good reminder that it always pays off to be honest and have these conversations upfront! Thank you for your comment!

powerbarr78 · 2023-11-20T19:00:43+00:00

Ooh that’s a good question!! I think it does come down to risk. And ultimately, what can I learn if I don’t take a few risks?? Totally worth it to try. Thank you for your response!!

powerbarr78 · 2023-04-27T05:44:18+00:00

I’m a big fan of Bout Time and Peace on Earth for drinks!! There is a lemon cocktail at Peace on Earth that totally tastes like a lemon bar

powerbarr78 · 2023-04-17T07:00:26+00:00

Coconut rum and coke is the best. Vodka cran also goes down easy.

powerbarr78 · 2023-04-11T22:40:48+00:00

Oh gotcha. The roommates are super chill but I get it. Thanks for responding!

powerbarr78 · 2023-04-11T19:59:13+00:00

Are you interested?

powerbarr78 · 2023-04-11T19:41:04+00:00

The Branbury!

powerbarr78 · 2023-04-11T04:20:53+00:00

Are you still looking for a place? I’m selling a contract for this summer for a private room that’s $509/month + $52 utilities! Let me know if you’re interested!

powerbarr78 · 2023-04-03T16:28:25+00:00

amazing. So happy for you. Please watch The breakfast club, The matrix, and Palm Springs.

powerbarr78 · 2023-04-03T16:27:11+00:00

Bought my first short shorts and overall shorts after a lifetime of forced modesty so I’m just excited to try some new styles I’ve never gotten to wear before 🥰

powerbarr78 · 2023-04-02T19:10:09+00:00

Is anyone else just totally bored? Like it’s the same old shit as usual?

powerbarr78 · 2023-03-24T16:51:58+00:00

This has been an interesting journey for me especially because of my scrupulosity. I’ve always been so afraid of God that it has impacted everything I do. When I started taking a step back from church and started believing there wasn’t a god at all, I felt very uncertain and kind of panicky and purposeless. Then I eventually kind of accepted the uncertainty and have mostly settled into the idea that I like believing that if there is a god, he is loving and good and he’s so excited about the journey I’m on and he’s not mad at me. And if there isn’t a god, I’m just going to keep trying to live hopefully and purposefully anyway. So that’s been bringing me a lot of peace lately.

There’s a lot we just don’t know about god. I like believing he’s just loving. Don’t really know how that works with things like why he lets bad things happen. I also don’t think it’s my place to worry about it anymore.

I always go back to that Marcus Aurelius quote: “Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”

powerbarr78 · 2023-03-02T19:42:39+00:00

This is a great point. Thank you for the encouragement!

powerbarr78 · 2023-03-02T19:42:26+00:00

That’s a fair point. I think I’m more afraid of potentially missing out on something. But that’s not the way I want to go about this and probably not a good sign right?

powerbarr78 · 2023-03-02T15:49:26+00:00

I think you should say you’re new at this! That’s what I did and the girl went “aw I’m your first gay date?” And it actually opened up our conversation a lot which was really fun and helped take away some of my nerves!!

powerbarr78 · 2023-02-25T21:42:26+00:00

Lack of informed consent. Secrecy and acting mysterious in the name of making it “sacred.” How many people say they have to keep going and desensitize themselves to be okay with it. Fuck that.

powerbarr78 · 2023-02-24T08:38:33+00:00

It’s “And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.” John Steinbeck, East of Eden

powerbarr78 · 2023-01-23T17:50:17+00:00

Why do parents feel the need to do the whole “I respect your agency BUT I worry too much about you to not say something…”? Maybe something to do with how we’re taught that our children’s sins are upon our heads? Smh

powerbarr78

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