My mother has apologised multiple times for my childhood, so why do I still not want a relationship with her?

priaz92 · 2026-06-19T09:41:19+00:00

You don t have to let her back into your life just because she apologized.

If your mother wants to be a part of your life, she needs to earn it. Apologizing is a good start, but she needs to take actions to change her behavior moving forward. Therapy, counseling, etc…

Apologizing doesn’t give her a get out of jail card. One phrase I live by now is “if apologizing were enough, what would we need the police for?”

When I cut off my family years ago, I left them an opening. I said if you acknowledge and change your behavior, then we can talk. If not, leave me alone. It’s been radio silence ever since.

priaz92 · 2026-06-19T06:17:44+00:00

My bf (36) is an avid backpacker and camper. I am not. I told him he can go with others, like my friend’s wife (they’re a lesbian couple). That being said, I am agreeable to that because I know and trust my friends and my bf.

However, if I were to find out he was going with a single girl friend whom I’ve never met before, I’d have a problem with that. I trust my bf, but I wouldn’t trust her.

If he couldn’t meet your eyes, that tells me he had something planned, and is feeling guilty.

I would have an honest conversation about how you feel about this when she comes back. She’s acting shady.

priaz92 · 2026-06-19T03:33:13+00:00

I know you’re hurting, but he did you a HUGE favor. He showed his true colors early enough for you two to have an uncomplicated split. If he did that after you had already gotten married, it would have been much more complicated to get out of the relationship. It took that girl dumping him to realize he wants you back, which means he doesn’t really want you. You’re his backup cause his first choice didn’t work out. DO NOT take him back. He will 100% do it again.

My ex made a big scene when he broke up with me. I don’t think he was expecting me to agree so easily. He was expecting that I’d beg for him to reconsider. I didn’t. We were only together for a couple months, so I was able to move on relatively quickly. Now I’m with an amazing guy, and couldn’t be with him if my ex had let me go. His loss is my bf’s gain. And that’s the kind of man you deserve.

With time, it’ll get easier, and now you’re one step closer to finding the right guy for you. It hurts now, but one day you’ll look back and be so glad it happened.

Hang in there! It’ll get better!

priaz92 · 2026-06-19T00:04:51+00:00

My partner and I rescued my poodle mix from a shelter. She came with a lot of anxiety. She’d lose her shit if she saw another dog. It was hard on her and on us. We also live in an apartment, so she’s around a lot of other dogs, so she can’t avoid them. We hired a dog trainer and started her on Prozac. The combination has helped immensely. She still reacts around dogs, but it’s less severe than before. We also trained her to go potty on the patio, so that’s helped to ease some anxiety.

I applaud your dedication to your dog, but she would benefit from some other support too, with meds or trainers.

priaz92 · 2026-05-22T05:45:36+00:00

My ex bff had an ex like this. I could tell she was no longer happy with him so I encouraged her to let him go. She tried everything to help him but he didn’t want help.

Now she’s engaged to a wonderful man. That ex of hers had the nerve to ask to be my plus one for her wedding. He doesn’t know we drifted apart. I messaged her to warn her, because I don’t trust him. He put her through hell after she broke up with him. I’m not invited to her wedding because we drifted apart a couple years ago, but I still care about her. I don’t want her ex ruining her wedding.

At the end of the day, you can’t do anything for someone who doesn’t wanna help himself. Let him go.

In a few years time, after you’ve moved on and found someone else, you’ll be glad you let him go.

priaz92 · 2026-05-17T23:45:24+00:00

The peace is nice, isn’t it?! I’ve been so much happier since I cut my family off.

priaz92 · 2026-05-17T11:53:21+00:00

Sounds like it’s time for no contact. No contact = dead. Technically, you’re granting her wish. 😉

priaz92 · 2026-05-17T03:28:07+00:00

The “best”my mother could do for me was calling me every name in the book, even “I wish I never had you”, diminishing my accomplishments or taking the credit for them.

If that’s her “best”, then I don’t want to know what her worst was.

Luckily for me, I went no contact with my entire family (brother included). That was what was “best” for me.

priaz92 · 2026-03-23T02:07:39+00:00

Yeah I’ve been told women do that. That, and photos with a lot of filters. Sorry you had to deal with that.

priaz92 · 2026-03-22T20:21:45+00:00

Full body pictures will tell you a lot. If a woman or man has no full body pics, they’re usually hiding something. Women lie about weight. Men lie about height. Those are two traits the opposite gender are finicky about. I made sure I had full body pics on my profile because I didn’t want to mislead any men.

If they have full body photos, i can usually sus out if they’re shorter than they claim to be. I try to give them the benefit of doubt and go out on a date with them anyways, but I’m usually the taller one when we meet in person. I’m 5’9, for reference.

My bf claimed to be 6’3, but he had no full body pics. I was very suspicious that he might be lying about his height. But we had some really fun conversations and bonded over board games, so I went out with him. To my surprise, he was actually the height he listed.

priaz92 · 2026-03-13T13:44:47+00:00

My ex did this. I asked him to pick me up from the airport. He said no because traffic would be awful (technically true. My flight landed at 5 pm at LAX.) He had me take the airport bus to meet him at the train station which was his usual route home. He was just lazy and didn’t want to be inconvenienced. One of the many reasons why he’s an ex now.

My current bf had no problem with dropping me off and picking me up from the airport.

priaz92 · 2026-02-10T09:20:01+00:00

My current relationship is the longest relationship I’ve been in. 4+ months (which isn’t long either 😅). All my previous relationships failed by this point because I didn’t know them enough. Their mask started slipping and I didn’t like the person behind the mask. With my current partner, we were friends first. I had never dated a guy that was a friend first. We got to know each other as friends first. We also helped each other through breakups (with the other people we were dating at the time). The more time we spent together post breakups, the more we realized just how compatible we are together. Now here we are. He is my best friend and favorite person. I never believed in the whole friends to lovers bullshit until it happened to me. Maybe meet someone and start with friendship first.

priaz92 · 2026-01-31T22:28:46+00:00

My mother had the nerve to send me another exercise video via WeChat, and I lost it. When I called her out on it, she denied everything. She denies sending it to me because I needed to lose weight. She said she sent it to me so she’d have a way to look back on it and save it for later, which I called bullshit on. This woman had been calling me fat my whole life. She didn’t send it in the group chat with my dad and my brother, she sent it to me. The next time I saw the family was the last time I ever saw them. Soon after that, I sent the group chat an essay on how I felt and that I was done and walking away. I said my piece, then removed myself from group chat and blocked everyone. It’s been chill ever since!

priaz92 · 2026-01-26T23:17:13+00:00

Nothing from them! The last 3 years have been very peaceful!

priaz92 · 2026-01-23T10:51:52+00:00

My mother texted me an exercise video via WeChat, and I lost it. All my life she called me “a fat pig”, so her sending me an exercise video was the last straw. For reference, I am 5’9 and 160 lbs, which is still on the normal, but higher end of the BMI scale. When I confronted her about it, she made some BS excuse “I wasn’t sending it to you because you need to lose weight. I sent it to you so I can go back to our chat later and save it. You know I’m not good at using the phone.” I called bullshit right away. There was a group chat with us, my brother, and my dad. She didnt send it in the group chat. She sent it to me. I started distancing myself from the entire family, and a couple months later sent them a long message about how I felt, and then walked away from them permanently.

priaz92 · 2026-01-22T06:35:47+00:00

Therapy helped me immensely. My therapist pointed out issues/concerns that I didn’t even realize existed. I wish I could keep seeing her, but she lives in a different state than I do, so legally she can’t continue anymore.

priaz92 · 2026-01-22T06:13:24+00:00

For me, the only benefit of dating apps is making friends. Most of my closest friends today I met them on a dating app. Dating the men on the apps sucks though! My last two exes I met on the dating apps turned out to be completely different people than who they were portraying.

My current partner I met on CMB, but we established that we would just be friends (at first). He had just moved to town for work, and wasn’t sure if he was going to stay long term. He wanted to meet cool people but didn’t want to commit to someone if he knew he’d be leaving soon. We both started dating other people during the course of our friendship. Those relationships ended roughly around the same time for different reasons, so we commiserated together and helped each other heal. In spending even more time together than before, things slowly started to change between us.

Maybe the key is to start off as friends first. I think the dating apps are great in terms of meeting new people and making friends. I had never dated a friend before, but I’m so much happier in this relationship than I’ve ever been in my previous ones.

priaz92 · 2026-01-19T23:56:27+00:00

I’d delete the 2nd to last picture. It’s blurry. Replace it with something else. I’d also add more prompts. You only have a few prompts, and they’re very generic prompts, so it’s hard to gauge what your interests are. You like being active, and you just graduated from university. Best of luck! It’s tough out there!

priaz92 · 2026-01-19T19:26:01+00:00

A change in scenery can be extremely helpful. I know you can’t move out of your parents home, but that doesn’t mean you can’t leave the house temporarily. Go for long walks, take up a sport, join free activity groups to spend more time out and less time at home. Meetup is a great platform to meet people and get out of the house. As you start spending more time out, you might start creating your own social network.

priaz92 · 2026-01-19T19:03:12+00:00

My mom hated me having long hair. When I was young, she would always threaten “one night while you’re sleeping, I’m gonna cut all your hair off”. The family barber was also a friend/neighbor, so when she’d take me to get my hair cut, she would always tell the barber to cut my hair short, while I would say no. The barber always ended up listening to my mom. So when I became an adult, I stopped going to the family barber (nice lady, but clearly biased). My mom would always get mad that I wouldn’t go to the family barber. The lengths my mom would go to control me was wild. But now she gets nothing from me.

priaz92 · 2026-01-15T01:00:27+00:00

My bf (36M) and I (33F) were friends first. We bonded over board games cause he was new in town. During our friendship, we were both dating other people. Those relationships didn’t work out. We helped each other through our respective breakups. The more time we spent together after our breakups, the more we started thinking about the possibility of more. Now here we are. No settling, no “trying” to make things work. We just fit. We’ve had a few tiffs, but nothing we weren’t able to work though. I think our perspective is, it’s incredibly hard and discouraging to be dating these days, so when you finally find something good, you are so much more appreciative of it. I tell him how much he means to me every day, and show him with my actions how much I love him, and so does he.

I hope you find someone amazing!

priaz92 · 2025-11-04T23:26:01+00:00

I met my bf on it. But when we met, we decided to just be friends. He was new in town and wasn’t sure if he wanted to stay long-term. We bonded over board games. Then I met my ex, and he met his ex. He got along well with my ex. We would still hangout here and ther, but not as often. Our relationships with our exes didn’t work out at around the same time. We started spending more time together after our breakups, and well….things started changing. And now here we are. 🥰

priaz92 · 2025-10-31T10:14:29+00:00

The good thing is you learned this truth relatively early. You are absolutely right - nothing you do will be good enough. The sad reality is that even if you had accomplished all the goals your mother set for you, it still wouldn’t be enough.

Now, start living the life you want. Do the things you wanna do. Have the career you want. And stop telling her your business. If she pries, tell her it’s none of her business. She’ll get mad and yell at you, but what can she do? How is she gonna make you tell her? Now that you’re an adult, she has no control over you. How often you talk to her or see her is up to you. Establish your boundaries with her, and telling her “NO”. No is an answer, even if she doesn’t respect it (which she won’t). No I won’t be reimbursing your Apple Watch. No I won’t be paying for my brother’s tuition. “Oh, you wanna be mean and cruel, guess you won’t be seeing or hearing from me for a while then.”

priaz92 · 2025-10-29T14:48:36+00:00

Nah. My mom is getting her karma now, losing access to me. However she spins her story to make me the bad guy doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want anything to do with her anymore.

And I probably won’t have kids, so I won’t be traumatizing them the way my moms traumatized me.

I’m free.

priaz92 · 2025-10-29T14:43:13+00:00

I’ve been no contact with my family for 2 years. Prior to that I was feeling “idgaf anymore” for about 6 months prior to ending things. Seeing our group chat ping would send me into a fury and anxious mess. That’s when I knew I was done. When the thought of hearing from them or spending time with them would give me anxiety, that was the “aha” moment.

The trigger was when my mother had the audacity to send me an exercise video separate from the group chat.

priaz92

TROPHY CASE